


Bent But Still Unbroken

by missanomalous



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-04-25 13:25:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 65,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4962268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missanomalous/pseuds/missanomalous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruby returns home hoping to find nothing. That doesn't mean she's disappointed when she finds Regina.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Red Queen Week](http://redqueenweek.tumblr.com). Day 7: Alternate Universe.

Even with the blinds tightly drawn at the windows, Regina knows she’s awoken with the sun. Somewhere in the back of her mind she tells herself that she should enjoy her last day of her summer, to take pleasure in having no classes to teach while she still can. Sleep until the hour hand has climbed another few notches on the face of her alarm clock. But she pushes her covers aside anyway, rolling her neck as she swings her feet over the edge of her mattress. She does herself the courtesy of stretching out her morning ritual to make up for the early start; turning on the jets in her shower as she washes her hair and choosing her most expensive lotion to coat her skin. Giving her hair a day off from the blow-dryer and allowing it to grow gradually less damp as she looks over the contents of her refrigerator. It would seem that grocery shopping is also in order on this supposed last day of rest of hers. But having leftover chicken fried rice for breakfast seems a small, summery thing to do, so the raven-haired woman throws it in the microwave and relishes in a break from the norm, even her entire vacation should have been just that.

 

Regina has helped teach at several levels, it’s not as if lecturing is frightening, but the fact that it involves a whole new class format leaves her ill at ease. She had all but minored in Film for her bachelor's and master's degree, so the material is leaving her as off-kilter so much as the chunk of time it took to showcase it: she has one three-hour class a week to plan out, to devour a film and discuss it while trying to keep the focus on the subject of narratives. On top of the other class she had signed onto for her prestigious, yet understaffed, place of work. The young professor sighs and contemplates the idea of an optional lab, watching the sun stretch over her lawn from the window and idly spooning rice into her mouth. She leans against the trim enclosing the glass and looks for something – _anything_ to break the stillness of the outdoors, but it’s still far too early in the day. The moon remains visible in the west, even as golden light blankets the small town. The unchanging picture becomes too unbearable and eventually forces Regina to pop open the lock on the window, cranking it open to at least hear the sounds of the world waking, even if she can’t witness them. Birds sing in the trees that surround her house, so high in the branches she that can’t hope to glance at them from her spot in the kitchen, and somewhere off in the distance the sounds of a lone truck turning over take over a quiet block. Some signs of life.

 

And then she comes; barreling into the stagnant picture so violently that Regina jerks away from the window in surprise. A slim figure racing down her street as if her life depends on it and then abruptly coming to a dead stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Her hand falls to clutch at her left side and her chest heaves, but her gaze idly bounces around as if she were looking for something particular. Or for absolutely nothing at all. She has a hood over her head and her face is somewhat obscured by the angle and sun, but Regina immediately knows that she has never seen this particular figure in Storybrooke since she had moved here a few years ago. Rice forgotten, the teacher squints into the light and drops her eyes to the girl's ass – purely for speculative reasons, of course. And her efforts are fruitful as she’s just able make out a crest for a university in Washington on black shorts before the insignia becomes blocked by a foot as the girl takes to stretching in front of Regina's house. A student, then. A leggy one. Regina definitely would have remembered her.

 

The girl takes off with just as much of a sudden burst as she had stopped with, sprinting out of Regina's view in an instant. Her leftovers are somewhat cold from the neglect and the morning breeze blowing on the plate, but Regina pays no mind as she pivots to stand at the island instead, shovelling in forkfuls mindlessly. She wonders where the girl had come from and where she is running to, tries to think why in the hell she had chosen the crack of dawn to get her exercise in. What her face looks like, what her name is.

 

But even if she has no plans other than a stop at the store, Regina isn't about to spend all day thinking about some random runner who had chosen her street for her route. She returns to her room to dress; jeans and a plain t-shirt – still quite in the spirit of summer. The professor went so far as to tie her hair back, something she wouldn't dare allow herself to do at the university. Ponytails seem far too casual for the ivy-covered walls of the old building she works in. The next hour is spent tidying up her bedroom and kitchen, applying a faint layer of makeup, downing a cup of coffee and reading the paper when it arrives.

 

It is still early when she finally leaves the house, too early for groceries, but with enough time having passed for the diner to have opened. Another coffee, maybe a muffin if she was extra bored. Time for a book. She grabs her purse and steps into the cold maritime air coming off the ocean to the southeast. Her car takes a moment to warm up and Regina is left waiting the short minutes it took for the windows to defog. Autumn would be arriving soon, even if September was set to follow August’s weather patterns. Regina loves the fall up here, loves seeing the trees turn to a sea of fire, so unlike the stagnant, grey city she had grown up in. The diner is a short distance and already has another patron parked in front despite having only been open six minutes. Regina takes the spot behind the truck and hurries through the chilled air once more to get inside.

 

The restaurant is wonderfully warm and already filled with the smell of something sizzling on the griddle when she pushes through the ringing door. Regina glances over to the other customer, but he sits in the farthest booth with his back to the door. She chooses one closer by, flicking her gaze at the counter to look for a waitress she might have missed, but seeing none. Her eyes then falls to the displays of baked goods as she attempts to make her mind on a muffin, when Granny, the diner's owner, emerges from the kitchen with a fresh tray of cinnamon rolls. Though her bright blue eyes find Regina, she doesn’t approach, choosing instead to turn back towards the door she had appeared from, hollering something Regina can’t pick up when she disappears.

 

It swings back open in an instant and a new face appears: young, angular, pretty. No, not pretty. Even with the incredibly strong makeup covering her eyes and lips, pretty is far too light a word to describe the woman who emerges. She stops in her tracks at the sight of a new customer, and it gives Regina a moment to study her without looking. But when the girl appears from behind the counter to approach her she sees the long legs that had graced the sidewalk in front of her house a few hours earlier. They remain in her peripheral of course, because Regina isn't going to start ogling people in public like some early morning lech. But it's undeniable from any angle.

 

“Coffee?”

 

Her voice is warm and smooth, even at this hour. Regina supposes she must be more than awake by now after the kind of speed she seems to keep up in her workout – if Regina's thirty second glance was anything to go by – but it still feels far too alert for the hour. Her hair is a deep chestnut colour though it has streaks of vicious red mixed in between, her eyes a hazel that is a mix of far too many colours to catch at once, framed with dark, makeup thick lashes. No, pretty is not at all the word for this girl. She swims with Regina’s images of Greek and Roman goddesses, a Diana or Artemis in the modern age, far too above mortals for their lowly gazes to take in such beauty.

 

“Please. And one of those.” She motions toward the counter and the girl's eyes follow before she nods and returns to it. Regina allows herself a second to watch her walk away before she pulls out a worn copy of _The Fountainhead_. The bookmark is still disappointedly far from the end, but she has the rest of the day and little else to do. The waitress shows up before her, having moved so smoothly across the floor of the diner that her boots had barely made a sound.

 

Regina tries to conceal her surprise, but her hazel eyes pay no mind to Regina, only the book in her hand. “Are you an Objectivist?”

 

“Hardly.” It was a tiring question, perhaps because she had grown up in a world of literary snobs who were less than friendly toward Rand-related novels. Or, worse, far too interested in them. “I just like well-written books.”

 

“I guess you skip _Anthem_ then?”

 

Regina subdues the smile but keeps her expression friendly as she leans back against her vinyl seat, the cinnamon bun being presented in front of her with packets of butter on the side as a rich-smelling coffee smoothly pours into her cup. “I do. But perhaps I should have picked it as my last book of the summer instead. I'm running out of time to finish this one.”

 

“When is summer over for you?”

 

“Tomorrow.”

 

The waitress nods and straightens, her composure a shade coquettish and her voice having risen in tone just the slightest. "I guess you've got your work cut out for you."

 

Something about the way she says it has Regina's own spine straightening, the change in demeanour allowing her to give the other woman a once-over that could actually seem casual. “Good thing I'm always up for a challenge,” she replies breezily, grabbing a few sugar packets to sweeten her coffee.

 

“I'll leave you to it then.” The exchange has proven to be far less satisfying than Regina had envisioned, her leggy waitress having let her down by returning to her job. She stops a few booths down to attend to the other patron, twisting over to fill a white cup with coffee. The raven-haired woman stares enrapt as the early morning light creates shadows across the small slice gap that shows the girl's midriff, divots and indents shaded in to accentuate her trim figure all the more. Like an animal alerted to another presence nearby, the waitress' swirling eyes snap back in Regina's direction, though the rest of her body remains in place.

 

“Cream,” Regina states in mock explanation. She has always been good about thinking on her feet, is rarely a person without a defence of some kind, even if it was needed at a moment's notice. Regina always has something to say, a true child of a politician.

 

With a nod, the girl turns on spot to fetch the small pitcher from behind the counter and places it in front of Regina with a lazily drawled, “Anything else?”

 

Regina doesn’t give in, doesn’t look up like the honeypot voice calls for her to do. Just adds the white liquid until her coffee turns a creamy brown. “That'll be all.”

 

The shift is subtle, especially since Regina is looking out of the corner of her eye, but it’s the brunette’s posture that now seems to reek of disappointment, as if she, too, had been waiting for some kind of excuse to engage. But much like Regina she also seems to be unwilling to give in and ask for it. Her response is to shrug and take her leave, casually throwing her next sentence over her shoulder. “Just shout if you think of something.”

 

As if it weren’t her job to check in on her customers. But with only two people paying to be fed and a dozen paying to be waited on in the inn attached to the restaurant, Regina supposes she was made to pull double duty for both businesses. Her waitress proves as much, disappearing behind the red door to the back room and not reappearing until the bell rings above the entrance to the restaurant ten minutes later as the other lone patron leaves, two crisp bills left on his table despite having not received his total.

 

“Well?” Regina raises an eyebrow as the form appears at her side once more, her plate disappearing beneath the edges of her book to nestle into the crook of the waitress' arm. She shifts her weight and gives a small nod. “Finished yet, or what?”

 

Regina scoffs good-naturedly but reaches to cover the top of her mug when the coffee pot nears it. “I'm not sure I'm in an environment conducive to reading.”

 

“You wouldn't be the first person to call me distracting.” It feels like a line a girl would give when she's spent a lifetime getting by on her looks, and is hoping for that fact to somehow come off as charming. But when Regina looks up she sees the self-effacing smile on her painted red lips, rendering the intended enticing effect on her audience all the same. “I can stop bothering you.”

 

“That's not a very good way for a waitress to go about getting a tip.” She means to inform the girl that she most definitely isn't bothering her, but judging by the enlarged smile, the teacher has stumbled upon a more appropriate answer. “It'll be busy soon, I shouldn't hog your booths.”

 

“I suppose you would know better than I.” She doesn’t end with a superfluous ‘would’ in her sentence. Grammar. Regina can appreciate proper grammar. Almost as much as legs that don’t want to end. Her bill is pulled and set before her and the girl pauses for a moment, hazel eyes lingering on Regina before a bashful smile blooms, catching her customer off guard. “Well, my name is Ruby if you need anything."

 

Ruby makes it back to the window before Regina’s question manages to slip past her lips, depositing the plate before turning to face the older woman. “Why are you working here?” It seems more like an accusation than a casual question, and Regina amends herself quickly. “I mean, how long. How long have you been working here?”

 

“A week or two now,” she replies as she steps towards the clutter the man had left, piling the dishes next to Regina’s plate on the service window, and grabbing the money that has been left on the table. “And, as to the why, that would fall down to good ol’ nepotism.”

 

Regina furrows her eyebrows and glances towards the door she had seen Granny disappear through. She had known the woman her whole life due to the familial summer home on the lake that had taken Regina’s warmer seasons. Still, she hadn’t known the woman to have any other family, other than that of her– ”Granddaughter? _You’re_ the little girl who used to hang around here?”

 

Ruby gives another bashful smile and the image of her at a preteen smacks Regina. She can picture the memory vividly: Regina, cocky from her first solo drive into town, strolling into the diner with Kathryn to get coffee, eying the young, dark-haired girls taking up the corner booth as they stared back in adolescent awe. She suddenly feels stupid for not putting two and two together.

 

“That’s me.” The brunette hesitates for a moment before folding up the money in her hands with its corresponding bill and approaching Regina’s booth once more. She looks up at Regina with a searching intent, looking as if she’s trying to place a name to a familiar face. Regina can’t tell if she manages to or not. “I just moved back.”

 

 _Children also age, Regina,_ she reminds herself of just how the young intense looking girl who used to run around the diner could transform into ancient artwork come to life. She didn’t know the girl’s age back then, can’t make the difference between them now, and the whole situation truly leaves Regina embarrassed. “From where?”

 

“Washington.”

 

“Quite a change of pace to come back to.”

 

“It was pretty hard to catch up to the pace there, slowing down wasn’t a problem.” Her green eyes flit to the open windows, the quiet downtown just beginning to wake and come alive. “I do miss the restaurants, though. We could use a good Chinese place that’s actually in town. Driving almost an hour to get some is only kind of worth it.”

 

“You could recommend putting ginger beef on Granny’s menu.”

 

“Oh, I think white people have done enough to ruin other cultures for now.” Regina barks out a laugh, fingers curling around the edges of her book. Ruby’s gaze returns to her before she nods towards the novel. “Dominique is quite the character.”

 

“She’s the reason I keep picking it up.” More questions about this girl’s relocations are on Regina’s tongue, but she can’t bring them to pass. It feels too personal. “Is that how you pass the time now that you don’t have good Chinese food to eat or congressmen to meet?”

 

It’s Ruby’s turn to laugh, glancing down at the tiled floor and tapping the tip of her heel against it. “There’s not much in terms of nightlife, but at least the drink prices at The Rabbit are still reasonable.” Hazel eyes meet brown once more but when they do, Ruby falters, hesitating a moment too long and getting interrupted before she gets her chance to speak.

 

“Ruby! I need your help with these sheets.”

 

The command comes from behind the red door and both their eyes snap to the small window into the back room. Ruby looks back at Regina and gives a small smile before turning to attend to her grandmother’s command.

 

“Regina.” The young woman whips around again and it’s the teacher’s turn to glance down and collect herself before meeting her gaze again. “You told me your name. And a good chunk of your recent history. It seems only fair.”

 

Ruby smiles once more, a full bloom of a grin that stretches her red lips across her face and makes Regina blink at the brightness it seems to add to the room. “It’s nice to kind of re-meet you, Regina.”

 

She disappears through the red door and Regina deflates in her seat, glancing down at the orange cover of her novel. She isn't good at this, at… interacting. Regina has maintained the same two friends her whole life, one of whom was mixed into one of the two relationships she has managed in her nearly twenty-nine years. She doesn't flirt. Regina had resigned herself to this after moving here for her doctoral degree; not particularly because she had wanted to, but because location proved to be important when one was looking for the similarly inclined.

 

She sighs as she hears the bell above the door ring, Granny coming out to attend the customers rather than her granddaughter. Regina leaves more than enough money before collecting her things and stepping back out into the morning air. She had just had dinner with Kathryn last night, but her fingers are itching to dial the familiar number in her phone. But it seems silly to her, to call up her friend all excited because she had spoken to a cute girl. It still seems silly to her as she gets in her car, but it doesn’t stop Regina from driving towards her best friend’s house for her third cup of coffee this morning.

 

* * *

 

“You don’t remember her family?” Granny asks in disbelief as Ruby picks up a fifty dollar bill from the table. _Yeah,_ Ruby thinks to herself as she looks over the ten dollar bill, _that’ll cover it._

 

“A little?” Ruby responds as she wipes down the counter and deftly avoids a rampaging toddler making its way up and down the aisle, unwilling to stay in its mother’s lap. “Didn’t they have the big lake house up north? Is that where she lives? Her dad was a… governor?”

 

Her grandmother shakes her head and heads behind the till, grabbing a funnel and a bag of sugar as she readies herself to fill the empty containers. “Her mother is one of the congresswomen for Maine. The Republican. The other one’s went over to the Democrats last year, but Mills has had her spot… for a few years now. Senator before that.” Her head gives another shake as she looks over at Ruby. “You used to idolize that girl. She was the one with the–”

 

“Camaro,” Ruby fills in after a moment of clarity. It floods back to her immediately – she really had worshipped Regina when she was younger. The gorgeous rich girl whose family only visited from June to September. Her eyes always dark with the perfect amount of eyeshadow, her lips always painted blood red, her hair always long and perfectly wavy. She had never forgotten the face, just the fact that there was a real person attached to it. And that car. It had haunted Ruby’s dreams until she finally tracked down one of her own, sinking any money she had managed to save in her short twenty years of life when she did. Two years later and she doesn’t regret it. She really loves that car. “Regina Mills. Is she… what is she doing here? When did she come back?”

 

“Few years ago,” Granny replies, as she untwists the caps of the sugar holders. “Studying at the university, I think.”

 

Ruby’s eyes fall to the booth the woman had chosen, still empty despite the flood of morning customers. She was still gorgeous a decade later, still as commanding of Ruby’s attention. The brunette blushes suddenly when she thinks back to her attitude upon first encountering the gorgeous customer who was far too pretty for that early in the morning, having set Ruby on edge from her very first glance. But the way Regina returned her attitude… Ruby has only been home for three weeks and the complacent attitude of her hometown is already getting to her. She can’t imagine what it will feel like if she stays another few years.

 

A small body pushes past her legs and Ruby finds herself stumbling into the counter as the toddler continues on. She sucks in a gasp and clenches her eyes shut, gritting her teeth as she straightens herself out and runs a delicate hand over the ribs that had come into contact with the edge. Ruby sees white, counts to ten, and then lets out the breath, meeting the gaze of the apologetic mother just in time to wave it off.

 

“You shouldn’t have gone running this morning,” her grandmother scolds, as Ruby knew she would.

 

“It’s fine.”

 

“You haven’t healed.”

 

“Yet, you don’t seem to have a problem with me working,” she mutters in return, taking a few careful steps and wincing as the shock reverberates through her body. Bed rest and Ruby are not on the best of terms, no matter how strictly it's prescribed.

 

“You insist on it.”

 

“I refuse to become a freeloader,” is Ruby’s reply as she finally gives in and slides into a chair, taking measured breaths.

 

Her grandmother’s cool blue eyes survey her from across the counter, her face stoic and tone snappy, hiding the concern behind both. “Bring the sheets upstairs and then get ready to see out that family from Ontario. They said they’d be checking out early. Then lie down.”

 

“Granny–”

 

“I can manage until lunch.”

 

“I don’t like seeing the customers out.”

 

“Ruby, you work for me now. You have to learn to take an order without arguing.”

 

She disappears into the kitchen before Ruby can argue about how she doesn’t argue, leaving the young woman to huff and hoist herself from her seat. Her ribs aren’t all that bad anymore, just tender to the touch and vengeful when they’re disturbed. The pain manages to distract Ruby’s brain for a whole five minutes, enough time to allow her to help out the inn’s customers, but before she makes it up the stairs to her attic suite room, she’s transfixed again.

 

Regina Mills. No, Ruby had definitely not forgotten that face. It was of the dream-haunting variety. The fact that that face was on a real, attainable human being seems to have slipped away through the years, however. The waitress carefully lowers herself onto her bed and lets out a breath, absentmindedly running her fingers up her side as she thinks back to their encounter this morning, trying to go over every detail of Regina’s face. The scar on her lip is new, her hair shorter than it had been in her teenaged years. No ring on her finger.

 

The transparent lime green bottle on her nightstand has exactly twenty-three pills left in it, twenty-three pills that Ruby finds herself very reluctant to take. She prefers her self-medicating to be without actual medication, but the dull ache in her side is unrelenting and by the time she's raised her feet onto her bed, she's reaching for the prescription and swallowing it with a bitter gulp of room temperature vodka that happens to be nearby. Ruby rarely buys big bottles, despite the economical advantage. She prefers to walk out of a liquor store with several plastic pints rather than an indiscreet glass gallon.

 

As she lies back on her mattress she smooths her hands out over her shirt to keep them from reaching for her phone, feeling a desperate need to lookup her customer's name but unable to tramp down the creepiness of the idea. She had done so when she was younger, her pre-teenaged ignorance not finding a problem with reading tabloid articles about the object of her adulation. Judging by the woman’s choice in career and location, her days of ending up in the tabloids were probably over. Still, the last Ruby had heard of the then-Senator’s daughter was when she was looked well on her way to becoming an impossibly large thorn in her paw of her mother’s career and she finds herself desperate to know how she ended up back here.

 

Three hours are spent in a hazy mix of half-sleep, Ruby waking every time she twists the wrong way in bed. She can’t sleep when she’s on her painkillers, finds herself plagued by uneasy tossing and vicious nightmares, which is not something the doctor had warned her about. They leave her waking up feeling more tired than before, but she supposes her brain and body is semi-thankful for the rest, even if Ruby isn’t. She has to wash her face in ice cold water before her eyes will fully open, before she can force herself to withstand the next few hours spent serving people their dinner. Ruby actually loves working at the diner, but as the day begins to disappear she’s left dreading the remaining hours of her summer.

 

Which isn't supposed to be her attitude, she supposes as she finishes her shift, changes her clothes, and steps out into the night. Upon returning to Storybrooke she had enrolled in the university immediately, barely making it into any classes of worth, because… that’s what one does when in their early twenties. She has a half-finished degree in business management that has done nothing for her but wrack up debt, though the waitress would be lying if she said she truly cares about it. She won't have to worry about money soon. And Ruby thoroughly enjoys learning, even if she despises school. She isn’t at all concerned that her minimum number of mostly elective classes that she’s chosen will continue this trend, as long as they provide some sort of distraction from her general existence.

 

It’s a depressing way to think about life, Ruby is aware of it. It’s why she drinks. As she wanders into The Rabbit Hole, she wonders if her little dive bar sanctuary will lose some of its appeal if it should become infested by the college students living on campus. Surely some of them must be smart enough to realize the economic advantage of a small town bar over that of a club in the city the same distance away, but she hopes they don’t. The brunette likes her barely populated dive the way it is, with only one lech to fend off rather than a dozen.

 

Besides, Whale is more than a handful to deal with.

 

“Your attempts to get into my pants for prescription pad access is see-through, you know.”

 

Ruby scoffs and brings her drink to her lips, taking a generous gulp before she responds. “Like I would need to get into your pants.”

 

“The second I can, I will write you whatever you want. But you clearly need the excuse to help you deny your feelings for me.”

 

He might be her only friend, which is a sad fact Ruby swallows with another drink. When Ruby was in high school, Victor Whale was one those post-graduate weirdos who still hung out with kids way too young for him, and bought alcohol for the needy teens of the town. Somehow that had translated into his becoming a doctor and the thought seems terrifying as she watches him guzzle down a beer. She has only been back for a few weeks, but Whale is the only person in town she has been brave enough to track down to re-meet. Maybe it's because she thinks so little of him. Drugs and a general lack of respect: as good a basis for a friendship as any.

 

“You could just find me some pot instead.”

 

“Will you sleep with me for it?”

 

“It’s not crack. I do have some standards.”

 

“Well then, let’s continue this conversation when you need some crack.”

 

“Christ, are you annoying.”

 

Whale smiles in return, finishing off his beer before checking his phone. His baby blue eyes have bags underneath them and his strawberry blonde hair is flattened to his head. She wonders if medschool makes everyone look as if they’ve aged prematurely. She wonders why he stays here to do his rotation, wonders how many years he has left of it. If Ruby were a better friend or person she would probably just ask, but that seems like a considerable amount of effort for a default friend she’s only spent time with while drinking.

 

“Then I guess it’s about time we get you to the mansion. Jefferson can take care of you. No sleeping with him for drugs if you aren’t going to with me, though.”

 

“I truly hate talking to you sometimes.”

 

“Love you, too, Rubes.” He’s become far too familiar in their short weeks reacquainting themselves but she knows humans are social creatures, and this is the society she has resigned herself to. “But I have lives to learn how to save tomorrow, so it’s time for me to leave. Walk you home?”

 

His question goes over Ruby’s head because her attention has been entirely diverted to the raven-haired woman who is walking through the door of The Rabbit. Regina’s eyes find her for a brief moment and Ruby feels her body flood with warmth from her stomach outward before her gaze shifts and she makes a beeline for the bar. Ruby’s own attention is diverted again by the hand waved in front of her face, drawn to the confused look on Whale’s face.

 

“I’m gonna stay for another drink. Last night of the summer, might as well drag it out.”

 

As her drinking buddy leaves, Ruby finds herself straightening her spine and downing what remains of her drink. She’s not used to one-on-one encounters with new people – Ruby either met kids in elementary school or in the safety of a group encounter. Ruby doesn’t seek people out. But Regina’s back remains turned to her as she glances towards the bar, readying her money beforehand in order to provide herself with an easy out should all of this backfire. Pragmatism is needed in such incidents as new experiences, she finds.

 

But as soon as she arrives at the bar, her mind goes blank upon sighting Regina’s own drink – clear and elegant, slipped into a martini glass, and leaving Ruby with the sudden feeling of embarrassment over her rum and cokes. A sailor’s drink, Granny had always insisted. The thought short circuits her brain for a second that lasts long enough to render the moment awkward as she draws the attention of both Regina and the bartender’s expectant looks while her mind draws a blank.

 

“Another?”

 

Ruby blinks up to look at the woman working behind the counter, nodding dumbly in reply and inwardly flinching as she braces herself to look at Regina. The raven-haired woman brings her drink to her lips, the unreadable smile on her face obstructed by the rim of her cocktail glass.

 

“You came,” Ruby manages, once again showcasing her startling ability with words. Regina seems to take pity on her, though, her smile seeming genuine when her glass is lowered and it’s revealed in its full glory.

 

“You reminded me to relish in the advantages of a small town – quiet bars and cheap drinks.” The bartender returns with Ruby’s drink, accepting the five dollar bill that’s held out and disappearing without another sound. Ruby reaches for it without looking, unable to drop Regina’s gaze while her brown eyes are locked in on her like they are. “And I was hoping to see you.”

 

Until that, at which point Ruby’s green eyes immediately fall to dark wood countertop, her neck flushing pink. This feeling of embarrassment is foreign and she’s never been more grateful to have alcohol in her hands. “For more literary critiques?” she asks with a booze-strained voice.

 

Regina laughs and drops her invasive gaze, blinking away to take note of the myriad of labels on the bottles across from them. “For general conversation, really. It’s been a good long time since I’ve had one with someone new in this town. And I was awfully embarrassed to have not been able to place you this morning.”

 

“At least you have the excuse that my picture hasn’t been featured in magazines across the Eastern Seaboard for the past decade or so.”

 

Another chuckle and her eyes find Ruby’s again, softened and serene compared to the last time it was searching the waitress’ face. “Less so in the last few years, to your credit. I’ve been trying to avoid them lately.”

 

“You picked the right town to settle down in, then.”

 

“Indeed I did.”

 

“Was that why you came back?”

 

“Partly. To finish my degree. And I…” She looks lost for a moment before she shrugs and takes an even sip. “I always liked my summers here. Besides, I only have one friend, I figured I might as well stay close to her. And yourself?”

 

“Only have one family member. And, you know, hometown and all that.”

 

“No friends to come back to?”

 

“Just a lot of burnt bridges. Thankfully, most of them seem to have rebuilt elsewhere, so I don’t have to deal with them.”

 

“Well, cheers to that.” Regina holds her glass out and Ruby obliges, clinking their rims together before they finish off their respective drinks. The brunette signals for another round before her arm has lowered, unwilling to risk a stretch in the conversation without something to do with her hands. “Working with your grandmother must be nice.”

 

“No, it’s as awful as one would expect. You’ve met her, right?” Her drink, easily made with a shot of rum thrown into a glass of Coke, is presented before her as the bartender grabs a shaker to prepare Regina’s. Ruby throws a ten down when she sees Regina reaching for her wallet. “It makes me seem like such a good, helpful granddaughter to everyone around, though.” There’s a short pause as Regina’s beverage is presented to her, and Ruby decides to fall back on her humour defense mechanism. “Family, friends, and work is covered; is there anything else that falls under that ‘general conversation’ that you were desperate to have?”

 

“Politics.”

 

“How ‘bout that Middle East, huh?” Regina’s chuckle echoes through her glass and it puts Ruby at ease. “If you have a degree to finish, then I guess this would probably be your last day of the summer, right?” A nod. “Then we should probably check the topic of education at the door and not invite that in.”

 

“I’d be more than grateful for that.”

 

“I guess that leaves local news, then. You’re the expert in that department, I’m still falling back into step here.”

 

The older woman spins her drink on the countertop, her smile twisting into a more subdued grin. “I imagine if a few more people see us talking together that you’ll be a part of the town gossip soon enough.”

 

“Is the Mills family name really so influential here as to start gossip about everyone who’s seen talking to a member?”

 

“No, but a young woman buying this particular member of the Mills family a few drinks while chatting her up in a bar, might.”

 

It takes Ruby a moment to understand the implication, to realize why drinks would be at all important. Until she finds that her body language has devolved into her leaning in close to her counterpart despite the lack of need for it, and that Regina’s implications and self-deprecating smile accompanied with them, are meant to be taken as a friendly warning. The waitress blinks and draws a blank, not fixing her posture but feeling the casual position become forced as her muscles freeze.

 

“I didn’t know.”

 

“To be fair, I’m not wearing my rainbow pin.”

 

Ruby blinks before barking out a laugh, deflating in her seat as she realizes the ridiculousness in her reaction. “God, I’m sorry. That was straight out of the 90’s, wasn’t it? I don’t care – not that you care if I care about that, I mean I don’t…” She clicks her teeth shut to cut off her own rambling, curling her fingers around the glass in her hand and trying to collect herself.

 

“It’s alright.”

 

“It’s not.”

 

“It really is.” Regina reaches for the speared olives on the edge of her drink, sliding one off with her teeth and drawing Ruby’s focused gaze once again. “I just… thought you should know. Save yourself from the implication. Never know what these people will think of your intentions.”

 

“Trust me, this town’s never thought much of my intentions.”

 

“And here I thought I was the expert.” It’s Regina’s turn to signal the bartender, a bill appearing in her hand from out of nowhere and slipped to the woman behind the counter before Ruby can so much as blink. “Not that any of them have any proof of _my_ intentions. They’ve also never asked.”

 

Ruby deflates a bit at the sentiment, eyes falling before she asks her question. “Are they wrong?”

 

“No, I really do have a rainbow pin, and for the appropriate reasons. But I’ve never worn it, nor showcased any proclivities that I’m aware of, so I’m just baffled at how they managed to figure it out.” Regina drains what remains of her drink as a new one appears and Ruby follows suit, tongue heavy as she tries to figure out her reaction to her counterpart’s confession. “I guess not being with a man is proof enough.”

 

“For this town? Definitely. I had the opposite problem – they had more than enough proof of my heterosexuality.” Regina laughs and it’s the most beautiful sound in the world to Ruby, who is holding her breath in wait of an answer. “I don’t think Granny knows what to make of me ending up at home every night since my return. I guess saying, ‘Hey, I was a huge slut!’ isn’t a great introduction, but, you know, save yourself from the implication.”

 

Another laugh, more subdued and intimate as Regina meets her gaze again, her red-tipped nails curled around the stem of her glass. “Re-introduction,” she corrects before taking a drink.

 

“Does that make it better or worse?”

 

“I guess it should make it worse, considering my last image of you is as a pre-teen. But it mostly just helps me feel at ease at leading with the lesbian thing.”

 

“Twelve year-old me would have probably fainted at the idea of you knowing who I was. My whole class was obsessed with you. I bought your car. I mean, not _your_ car. In a literal sense. But a Camaro.”

 

“That’s your ‘75? It fills me with seller’s remorse every time I see it in town.”

 

“Sixteen year-old me _definitely_ would have fainted if she had heard that.”

 

It turns out to be easy to talk to Regina when Ruby eventually lets her guard down, relaxes against her seat like she does with everyone else. They’ve laid their cards out, even if Ruby can’t read her own. Regina’s sexuality isn’t a surprise, exactly, but the way it had been so plainly stated has the younger woman at odds with how she is meant to react. Did Regina tell her that because she was hoping to hear it echoed back?

 

Ruby tries to stuff the questions into the back of her mind, falling back on her tried and trusted method of denial. It’s nice to sit back and just talk with someone again, even if she’s putting in just as much effort in overanalyzing every bit of the conversation as it goes. Regina never leans in, doesn’t allow her gaze to linger inappropriately, keeps the conversation neutral and easy. But she also gives Ruby an unnerving amount of attention when she speaks and begins to pace her sips far more carefully, like she, too, wants to extend their evening after their first initial rounds to take the edge off. Ruby’s grateful for the shift in their meeting, the easy-going tone that it’s taken, but it hasn’t made Regina’s intentions any clearer.

 

“It’s almost midnight,” Regina slips in after taking the last bitter sip of her drink. She pulls out her phone for the first time that evening to confirm the time and Ruby feels terror washing over her at the idea of their time together being cut short. She wants to stall and attempt to ask for one more drink, but when she does a mental tally of what they’ve totalled tonight, she knows that’s likely a terrible idea. But Ruby doesn’t want to run into Regina in the diner again, doesn’t want to have to stalk around The Rabbit in the hopes that she’ll appear again, doesn’t want tonight to end so badly she almost misses the other’s woman’s offer to extend it. “Could I walk you home?”

 

It snaps Ruby back into her old roots, allows her to dig deep to find whatever charm she had outside of her looks that had been left back in Washington before her return. “That’s an awfully generous offer considering I’d had about three of these,” she taps the empty glass near her hand, “before you got here and they’ve left my sense of direction and ability to walk all out of sorts.”

 

Regina grins and slides from her seat, grabbing her green canvas jacket from the back of the stool and sliding it on. “Thankfully I’ve been here long enough to get a good sense of the entire twenty blocks that make up this town. And I’m world-renowned for my piggyback rides.”

 

“If I were a meaner person, I would probably take you up on that.” It takes more concentration than she’d like to admit, but Ruby doesn’t find herself in need of Regina’s offer, her slightly unsteady legs moving with more confidence than she felt and taking her out the door. The night air helps, viciously crisp and clean after the muggy, warm interior of The Rabbit Hole. It’s literally less than a block to the diner, leaving them standing outside the library entrance that looks back at the red door of Ruby’s workplace and home. She stops rather abruptly, without the grace she has managed to adopt to combat drunkenness, leaving Regina to glance back with a raised eyebrow and pivot to turn her back to the building.

 

Ruby meets her gaze but can’t imagine what her own holds; she holds fast to her verbal filter while drinking, but she knows her face is more than enough to provide clear indication as to what she’s thinking. Ruby doesn’t know what she’s thinking, though, so how can Regina? How can Regina be looking at her as if she's assessing Ruby’s muddled thoughts and finding clarity amongst them? The brunette winces as the older woman tilts her head, eyes sharp but full of understanding.

 

“What did it feel like when you came back here?”

 

Ruby hates the question immediately, hates the simpleness with which it was asked. It was nice to come back home, frankly, because she isn’t asked questions like this. That’s what she had been counting on. Everyone who lives in Storybrooke knows it suffers from everything people loathe about small towns, everyone knows it can be that kind of soul-sucking place that’s just accepted as a part of their lives. But here was Regina asking her why it was a good thing.

 

“I didn’t feel anything.” Regina’s face doesn’t change, but her eyes narrow in more than they are, like there’s something to be made of every minute detail of Ruby’s answer. Ruby can taste more words bubbling on the edge of her tongue, and the feel of a phantom ache in her bruised ribs pushes her to bring them to fruition. “That’s what I was hoping to feel.”

 

The reaction she receives is startling in its simplicity; the way Regina’s eyes dart to the side as if she were a child in trouble, her head turning away for a moment before she regains her composure in blink, eyes narrowed in once more but her posture loosened. Brown eyes that look as black as ink bounce back to Ruby, an edge of dark humour behind them.

 

“How’s that working out for you?”

 

Ruby’s drunk and tired and just not a person who is put-together enough to start delving into an existential crisis, so she forgos thinking in order to step into Regina’s space, looking down at her when there’s less than an inch between them. But she loses her nerve just as quickly when she’s within reaching distance, still unsure of what she’s trying to reach. Regina remains unnervingly still but her eyes are searching as they look at Ruby’s face.

 

“You’re frightened,” she states, not unkindly, but Ruby winces in response all the same. She’s never had such a word used to describe herself and she immediately hates it. But she’s still frozen in spot, her brain shortcircuiting, proving Regina’s description correct. She has spent more time than she would like to admit trying to not acknowledge anything about why this woman’s face has appeared in her dreams for a decade now.

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she manages, her voice coming out in a shaky burst. But she’s being honest, a rare occurrence even if Regina doesn’t know it yet. Whether her admission is because she’s trying to give herself an out, or Regina an in, Ruby doesn’t know. But she doesn’t pull away as Regina sways closer, she acknowledges that her heart is beating faster because the woman’s hand is reaching up to ghost against Ruby’s jaw, can agree that her eyes are indeed following the tip of Regina’s tongue as it slides against the edge of her sharp teeth.

 

“What do you want, Ruby?” The question is asked quietly, as if they were in a crowd of people and in desperate need for secrecy. It feels like that a bit, really, standing in the middle of their new and reclaimed hometown. There’s barely a breath between them, but the waitress still can’t manage to close the millimeter gap.

 

Regina spares her, though, apparently not in need of superfluous answers or ego boosts. Her lips press against Ruby’s with the same featherlight weight as her fingers hold her jaw, her teeth leading with a scrape against Ruby’s lower lip, and it’s all the encouragement the younger woman needs to surge forward. She counters Regina’s grasp on her face with her own much more forceful hold as she backs her up against the door of the library. The bombastic start comes to an immediate stall as the waitress clues into what she’s doing, who she’s doing it with, and the fact that the where of it all happens to be taking place across the street from her home. But the force of her lips against Regina’s remains, even if it’s stalled, and her fingers are digging into the other woman’s cheek like she’s trying to tear away from Ruby’s hold rather than standing perfectly still against her.

 

Once again it’s left to the older woman to break their stalemate, Regina shifting upwards in order to curl her lower lip around Ruby’s upper, her tongue grazing along and drawing a weird, tiny mewl from the back of the waitress’ throat. If her cheeks weren’t already pink from the damp air and alcohol pumping through her system, she would surely have a new reason, but Ruby isn’t one to dwell on embarassment. She still has the literal upper hand here, and she uses to keep their pace in check as she returns the kiss with mix of desperation and languish that seems to slow the world around them to match.

 

It’s an odd kiss for Ruby, let alone an odd first kiss. Fueled by an intense force that would undoubtedly be classified as unromantic, borderline cruel to any outside who might come upon them. But Regina returns it with the same vigorous concentration, pulling Ruby down and closer to her with a fierce grip on the girl’s jaw. Her left hand drops around to the back of Ruby’s neck, her fingers twisting in Ruby’s hair at the same time her teeth take hold of her lower lip and scrape along it, drawing another feeble noise from her victim.

 

She can sense it before Regina does, can hear the shifting gears inside the large clock, can already feel the echoes of the bell she grew up across the street from. Before the first loud, thunderous roar of one can ring, her kiss becomes more manic in an attempt to keep Regina in place before she knows to move. But the reverberations of the first chime are crashing through the building in a second, deafening them with the first of many loud bellows, and Regina jumps in Ruby’s arms, apparently feeling the spell broken by reality.

 

But Ruby can’t have that. She knows herself, she knows she’ll lose her nerve to re-start this kiss once it’s finished, whether it’s after the bell finishes tolling or days from now. If it ends due to reality clanging its way in, that will be the end of it all. Her lips press harder as Regina’s shy away and her hand falls from its grip on the woman’s jaw down to her slender neck, her thumb stretching across Regina’s windpipe as she tries desperately to keep her in place. She doesn’t realize how tight her grip is until she feels Regina’s moan rumbling against the palm of her hand, reverberating across her lips. The sound is lost to the bell, drowned out and filling Ruby with an intense longing to hear it. Regina’s response to the hold is immediate, her struggle to break free forgotten as she melts against the taller woman, her kisses becoming borderline wanton in return. She can feel Regina’s heartbeat hammering against her hand, matching her own, can feel the ragged breaths make their way past Ruby’s outside hold.

 

The ringing from the bell has more than died down by the time Ruby does pull away, eyes closed and forehead still pressed against Regina’s. Her grip on the woman’s neck loosens until her hand falls down to her collarbone, desperate to keep her contact with Regina’s pulse. The waitress takes a shuddering breath, sucking in her bottom lip to stem the reaction as best she can. She’s never felt so completely useless in her life, so unused to this sensation of being lost. Especially in _this_ kind of situation. When had Ruby ever in her life struggle with asking someone up to her room?

 

“You seem to know what you’re doing,” Regina murmurs, her fingers untangling from Ruby’s hair to skim down her neck once more. Ruby laughs a little, a nervous burst of air as she wills her eyes open. Regina is staring at her with a half-lidded gaze, her lips puffy and cheeks red. It makes Ruby want to kiss her again, leaving her a little stunned at the realization that she can. It’s significantly less heated than their first one, an unbelieving touching of the lips that still leaves Ruby making a similar pitiful whimper. Regina is a teeth and tongue first kisser, is unlike anyone Ruby has ever been with, and it’s somewhat heartbreaking when she pulls away. “I have a class in the morning.”

 

Ruby lets out a disappointed groan at the reminder of the world outside of the library entrance, at the subjects they promised not to speak of the technical night before. Her hands shake against their hold on Regina’s flesh but they refuse to let go. She has no choice but explain why. “I’m afraid that I’m gonna lose my nerve if I run into you again.”

 

Regina grins endearingly, her lips finding Ruby’s again for a quick press. “Thankfully I’ve got plenty of nerve for both of us.” Ruby wants to laugh but Regina’s hands are slipping from their hold on her and the coldness of the air hits her on the spots where her hold had been. She’s about to just give in and step away, but Regina catches her jaw and keeps her close, her smile still set. “I don’t have any classes on Thursdays, though. If you were willing to let me try picking you up on a more convenient night.”

 

“Why _didn’t_ you wait for a more convenient night?”

 

“Because I’ve been living here for four years and I was desperate to prove to myself that you weren’t a figment of my imagination.” Her fingers reach up to curl Ruby’s hair behind her ears, ghosting down her jaw and watching the movements with pointed interest. “I’m still not totally sure, to be honest.”

 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have tried to match your imagination drink-for-drink,” Ruby breathes, unaware of where the will for speaking is coming from. It’s some sort of callback to her usual ease with people, that fake charm she usually adopts seems to have managed to seep in without her needing to call upon it. Her instincts were coming back to her as the feel of Regina’s lips fade.

 

“But if you’re willing to continue existing in reality,” Regina continues, her smile wider than before but her eyes still following the movements of her fingers as they dance across Ruby’s cheek. She seems as transfixed by the situation as Ruby is, but somehow she manages self-control and it’s a way of life beyond Ruby’s comprehension. “I’d like to see you again. Tomorrow.” Regina’s fingers have fallen to Ruby’s lips, sliding against them as if willing an answer to come and sending shivers down the waitress’ spine. “I want to see you tomorrow.”

 

Ruby feels her lips tremble at the thinly-veiled demand hidden by her statement, tries to tell herself that it won’t be as hard to allow herself this if she’s not the one initiating. It’s been a tough, denial-filled decade, though, and she’s honest enough with herself to admit that. Honest enough to know that she has to make demands of her own, no matter how pathetic they sound. “I work until ten. But… you have to promise you’ll come.”

 

The older woman lets out a laugh, as if she finds Ruby’s desperation charming. Ruby has to remind herself that it’s a good thing. “I absolutely promise you that nothing short of death will keep me from the only worthwhile I’ve found in this town since I came back.”

 

She seals the pact it with another lingering kiss, hands still possessively trying to memorize the feel of Ruby’s face while she does. Ruby revels in it, allowing herself to give up any control she had prior, even if that was just due to her exuberance and physicality. Regina’s the one dominating now, pulling and pushing at Ruby’s body as they stand on the sidewalk, breaking the kiss with no preamble but keeping her face close for a moment afterwards. Ruby watches her eyes blink open slowly, witnesses the birth of a mesmerizing grin, stares in quiet defeat as she steps away and heads down the street before Ruby can protest or offer to walk her home.

  
_She promised._ It seems childish, she knows it is, but it’s what has Ruby taking a breath as she turns to head to the inn. She’s always been full of fake bravado, and before tonight it’s never let her down. With Regina’s word that she’ll be back, all Ruby has to do is dig deep and remember to allow it to take over her earlier in their meeting. _It’s that simple,_ she attempts to remind herself, _to get what you want you just have to allow it to happen._ The fact that her inner voice sounds like a bad self-help book doesn’t make her feel any better.


	2. Part Two

Hungover and most definitely without the amount of rest needed for a day like today, Regina smiles as she steps into her office. She feels inordinately exuberant, long after the rush of a hot shower and hot coffee have left her system. The young professor had breezed through her first class easily, a low level English class that had been textbook from start to finish. Even with twenty minutes to go before her film class, Regina’s nerves are still calm. She had spent the time between classes with Kathryn, stopping at her home office to share the details of her previous night over lunch, listening to the blonde comment on how she can’t imagine what Regina’s attitude would be like if she had finally gotten laid. Regina had been in too good a mood to take offence to it.

She grabs the DVD she’ll be showing today, finding herself unwilling to bother wasting her first day of classes with introductions she’ll have to repeat the next week when people decide which courses they’ll be sticking with, so she figures giving them a taste of the format first. Regina fits the papers she’ll need in her laptop bag, shoving the DVD in there and debating for a moment before grabbing her glasses and putting them on. She can more than easily live with a little astigmatism, but they help add some professionalism that her age and youthful appearance deny her. Sometimes Regina has to remind herself that it’s not always a terrible thing.

The lecture hall is big but designed for a relatively small class size, only seating a hundred people at the most with its long tables and spinning desk chairs. She’s glad she got this room, she loves those chairs. The projection screen turns on without a fuss, and when she pops the film into the DVD player the title menu comes on immediately, the music seeping through the speakers on the roof. No technical difficulties. Good. There’s nothing quite as terrible as showing weakness in technology in front of a group of twenty year-olds. Regina doesn’t want to feel exceptionally older than the people who are a decade younger than herself, and she already has to take measures to assert some dominance over such a group. Hard to do so when you’re fumbling around with the input settings.

She shuts off the projector before they start to pile in, setting the neat stack of syllabi out in front of her as she stands at the center podium under the screen. Regina glances at a few faces as they take seats, spreading themselves out until it’s no longer an option. But mostly she keeps her eyes on her laptop, doing meaningless things like checking her email as she waits for the clock to hit three-twenty. When it finally does, she takes a breath and waits for the few stragglers who decided to arrive right on time.

“Welcome to Narrative in Film. I am Regina Mills and I don’t particularly care what titles you use to address me. If you’re in the wrong class, feel free to leave now. If you’re too embarrassed, we’ll be starting a movie soon and you can slip out then.” Her eyes fall onto a blank space in the middle of the room as she addresses the crowd, coming out from behind the podium with her papers in hand, crooking her finger at two boys in the front row to come grab them from her and hand them out amongst the class. “This class will consist of one three hour session at this time every week. We won’t always be watching a movie, but it’s likely to be an ongoing trend. All of the films we’ll be watching are listed there, and I’ve taken the time to include where they’re streaming or available to rent online if you miss one. Office hours, contact information, it’s all there. The book list will consist of this,” she holds up a beaten copy of an old book, “ _Narration in Light_. It’s twenty-seven years-old and available used, I recommend buying it from one of the stores I listed in Portland. They all have it in stock and it will help you avoid giving into the textbook money-making scheme that modern day colleges have adopted.”

Scattered applause. “The basis of this class is simple: understanding how narration is used in a visual medium, and how the medium itself can change and improve upon some forms narration. We’ll be looking at a variety of films to illustrate this, ranging from the classics to modern films. Today we’ll be starting with a staple, one some of you Film majors have likely already seen far too many times. _Citizen Kane_ ,” Regina holds up the DVD case, “Orson Welles’ 1941 classic, still considered to be the best of all time. Today we’re going to look at why that may be true from a narrative perspective, rather than a technical one. Take notes as you would any book, think of symbolism, themes, settings – everything that helps create the story from that basic sense. Then try to figure out why this particular story resonates so much in this format, and whether or not it would in, say, a novelization. You’re all big kids, so I won’t hold your hands through note-taking. Cellphones off, laptops closed. Someone get the lights up there.”

She grabs her own notebook and pen and rolls a chair to the side of the room after pressing play, glancing over at the room of faces in the dark. It has gone well so far. The two hours that are spent on the movie go equally well. Apparently everyone had made it to the right class, or had stayed for the movie because they were sitting somewhere in the middle. Regina spends her time jotting down more notes to her previous one on the film (kept from her own classes, meticulously filed in her office at home), trying, as she always does when rewatching a film, to find something new in each scene. Looking for an interesting piece of the set she hadn’t noticed before, a reaction from a background character. Two hours go by easily, leaving her with a decent amount of time to zone out and reflect on her night. As she had done for an hour in the shower that morning.

Despite what Kathryn thinks, it’s not just the fact that she has been incredibly abstinent in the last few years. Regina wants _Ruby_. She wants that kiss because it had been electric and thrilling, because of Ruby’s hesitation and obvious desire. Because she could hold a goddamn conversation all night. Regina had been absolutely enthralled just watching her speak, noticing the unease with which she moved at the bar, but the confidence in her voice. Watching the shift happen when she stepped up into Regina’s face, looking confused. Regina hadn’t pegged her for lacking in confidence in any matter, let alone sexuality. It was somewhat endearing to witness considering the kiss that followed, not at all lacking in certainty. She vividly remembers the feel of Ruby’s hand falling down to her neck, the jolt it had sent to her stomach to take a slightly laboured breath with the feel of Ruby’s fingers wrapped around her, just _barely_ constricting. It was a reaction Regina doesn’t recognize. But desperately wants repeated.

She almost zones out through the ending, blinking back to reality just in time to watch the final iconic scene. Regina shakes herself from the daydream, turns off the system, calls for the lights, and spends twenty minutes delivering a lecture that surprises herself. She never felt near as confident while rehearsing, but standing behind a podium with jot notes in hand, blurring her eyes just enough so as to not make visual contact with anyone in particular; Regina feels commanding. She sometimes feels it’s a shame she hadn’t shared her mother’s lust for political power, she probably could have made something of herself.

“Now,” she begins, readying another question that she doesn’t have written down, but struck her during the film, “is there closure in this film?”

Silence. A room full of bright young minds and nobody has a thing to say. Previous questions about plot were easily answered, but this one seems to leave them stumped. Regina is a little surprised, honestly, she thought she had lobbed an easy enough talking point.

“There is for the audience.” Her heart stops when the words floating through her head were spoken by a familiar voice in the back corner of the room. Regina takes a breath and lifts her gaze to the cherry red lips that gave them, almost unable to recognize anything else. She’s dressed so differently. Leather and shorts have been traded for a prim red dress littered with flowers and a high, white collar. Dark makeup has been traded for toned down colours, curly, red-streaked hair has been bound back in a ponytail. Her sharp jaw is on display for all to see, still looking statuesque even from this distance. Ruby doesn’t look at all like Ruby, but Regina feels the same jolt to her stomach when she continues speaking. “But not for anyone in the film.”

Ruby’s voice sounds somewhat contrite. Regina wonders if she hadn’t meant to answer, but didn’t want to let her down. With a shuddering breath, Regina collects herself and looks back down at her notes, casually spouting off, “Good. Very good.” Another breath. “Now, for the subject of this class: could this narrative have worked so effectively without its visual format? Could words every truly bring the reveal of “rosebud” to such a resonating conclusion?”

Regina lets them out with five minutes to spare, knuckles white as she grips the podium. Her heartbeat is in her ears, or perhaps it’s just the echoes of dozens of chairs being pushed back in unison. She collects herself as the first of many students comes up to ask her a question. Regina knows at least one will be about whether or not she’s Cora Mills’ daughter. Her eyes jump up to see Ruby checking her phone, adjusting the strap of her bag over the long grey wool blazer she’s put on. She seems to have no time, and is clearly smart enough to not try to broach speaking to Regina with so many people around. The professor is relieved.

When she finally manages to get away, she calls Kathryn with shaky hands, mad at herself for getting so worked up over the situation. Her friend is still in her Portland office, but at Regina’s rushed tone she tells her to come into the city. Regina does and is there within forty minutes. _You’re overreacting_ , she tries to tell herself as she walks into the office, informing the secretary that she’s been cleared to meet with her friend. Kathryn is sitting at her desk, chin resting on her folded hands and eyebrows already up as she waits for Regina to unload her burdens.

“It’s fine.”

“I don’t even have my doctoral degree yet. The only reason I got to teach there – the only reason I get to be called a professor is because of my mother’s name and my father’s money. They could fire me over a scandal.”

“It’s not a scandal.”

“Yet.”

“Then don’t let it become one.”

Regina glares in return, huffing and falling back into the chair across from the desk. Sometimes she can’t stand Kathryn and her insidious logic and rational mind. She just absolutely _hates_ the latter. “It was a really good kiss.”

Kathryn rolls her eyes in a sympathetic way. Something Regina didn’t know could be done. “Is she gonna go after you?”

“I’ve barely known her for a day.”

“In court, you should try to play up the decade-long acquaintanceship if you’re going for sympathy.” Regina groans and brings her hands up to cover her face and the blonde sighs. “Her grandmother doesn’t seem like the type. But I don’t remember her too much. She was way behind me in school, and I didn’t come back until after my degree. Haven’t seen her at the diner in years. Does _she_ seem like the type?”

“She seems like a closet case.”

“Okay, as your lawyer, I feel I should need to remind you of this, yet as you’re a person with a Masters in English, you should already know that words matter. You should choose your words carefully. That is another thing that won’t gain you sympathy, they’ll think you’re taking advantage of her.” Regina’s hands fall but her gaze remains upwards, staring at the ceiling. “Just get her to drop the class.”

“She’ll still be a student at the university,” Regina replies in a resigned voice. She sits up and straightens her jacket. “It’d take one tweet and the press would eat it up.”

Kathryn gives a look of acknowledgement and a nod, repositioning herself to lean on her elbows. “That’s very true. Prudent. Sorry you didn’t get laid first. Should have went for it.”

“I hate you so much sometimes.”

“I know. But I’m your lawyer. And best friend. It’s not unexpected.”

Regina lets out another breath. “She gave me grief over Rand.”

“I’ll try to fill that gap.”

She laughs despite herself, running a hand over her face. When she opens her eyes again, Kathryn is smiling. “Could they fire me if they found out?”

“I’d have to look at your contract.”

“I’ll send it over in the morning.”

“Alright.” Kathryn glances at a stack of paperwork next to her arm and Regina wonders how late her friend will be at the office. “I am sorry. You sounded really happy this afternoon. Drinks Friday?”

“God, yes.”

“When are you going to talk to her?”

“I don’t know. Tonight. I have to nip it in the bud. Right? Yes.”

“You’re making the right call.”

Regina leaves feeling calm, as she always does after talking to Kathryn. She makes sure that the ride back to Storybrooke takes longer than it should, dreading the hours she’ll have back in town waiting for ten o’clock when Ruby said her shift ended. When she gets home, she decides to have a bath, an attempt to pass the time, dumping every bath product in, turning on the jets, and lowering herself into the scalding water. She _is_ making the right call. She knows that. She’s just frustrated that another door in her life has been slammed before she could do anything about it.

The clock eventually hits ten, and Regina finds herself in need of a drink before she leaves, taking a generous swig of rye straight from the bottle before heading over to the diner. Her hair is up again, she’s dressed in dark jeans and a heavy peacoat, despite the lack of need. Something about layers makes her feel better. When she pulls up to the diner she parks on the side street, not wanting Ruby to see her approach. It takes her a minute to work up the nerve to leave the car, but when Regina starts walking she doesn’t stop until she pushes open the door of the diner, bracing herself against the stares. But there’s only one.

Ruby sits alone in a corner booth, her face shifting from an incredulous expression to a relieved one as she motions for Regina to enter. She’s back to leather and darker makeup, her button up shirt so glaringly white Regina wonders how she manages. Spread out before her are a few notebooks and pens, two plates holding cinnamon rolls resting near her wrist. There’s a pile of bills and a ledger on top of everything, a deposit bag sitting nearby next to a glass of water. The lights in the kitchen and back rooms are off, and as Regina enters Ruby stands to turn off all but one in the diner.

“I didn’t want you to think we were closed. That I left. I thought you’d probably look for me at The Rabbit, but I figured… privacy was important. Granny’s gone to bed, no one will bother us.” She says all of this in one breath, still standing at the lights as Regina remains at the door. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

Regina glances at the booth she had occupied, holding her keys with both of her hands to keep them occupied and from adjusting her hair or clothes. “It’s important that we talk. About the situation.”

The brunette nods and motions towards the booth again, and this time Regina obeys, sitting across from her and trying to make out the neat notes she has already started going over. In her peripheral vision she can see Ruby make a move to speak once she’s settled in her spot, but she’s without her bravado tonight, without the steady, booming voice that had crashed through her classroom. Once more it’s up to Regina to push for more.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a student?”

“Why didn’t you tell me _you_ were a teacher?”

“Because I look my age.”

“Well, one, no you don't, and two, I assumed you were a graduate student.”

“Even if I were, it would be inappropriate to carry on a relationship with an undergrad.”

Ruby lets out a breath and Regina has to stop her eyes from watching the girl’s hands wring together on the table. “Undergrads and TAs have relationships with students all the time. If you were the one in my class, I just would have dropped it.”

“Well, I’m not. This is my first year teaching on my own, I’m less than a year from my doctorate, and I can’t be in a relationship with a student at the university.” Ruby’s mouth closes at that and Regina finally feels she has to force herself to meet her gaze. She can feel her expression soften, even though her mind is vehemently against the idea. “I’m sorry. I really am. I was… I was really looking forward to tonight. But I can’t see you.”

Again, Ruby seems to swallow her words, her grey-green eyes darting down to her own clasped hands. The radio has been left on, leaving the scene in a haunty, static-filled echo of songs long-since forgotten by the general public. Regina finds it fitting.

“You’re the first person I’ve… this place is so still. Bland. And then there’s you. You're… technicolor. Oz after Kansas.”

Regina closes her eyes as the memory of Ruby running comes to her mind, unable to convince herself that it hadn’t been two days since she had witnessed the scene. The image of Ruby’s muscles straining against her skin when she stretched her legs sends a shiver through her spine and Regina has to open her eyes again, witnessing the young woman’s distressed features. An oil painting bringing the misery of a goddess to life.

“I’m sorry, Ruby. I can’t be with a student.”

“I won’t tell anyone.” Ruby winces a little when Regina sends her a look that informs her she knows exactly _why_ Ruby wouldn’t tell anyone. Regina’s been around the block a few times. “I thought you were the one with all the nerve.”

It’s Regina’s turn to grimace. She had vowed a long time ago that she wouldn’t let her mother’s influence dissuade her from a relationship ever again, but she knows her last name has already made her a target while on campus. Regina just can’t trust Storybrooke, with its guarded whispers, any more than her workplace.

“I’d lose my job. And prove my parents right. As much as I thoroughly enjoyed last night, it can’t be repeated.” She’s good at being cold. Regina runs cold. It’s the warmth she turns on and off. But as she gets up to move she becomes trapped by the featherlight grip on her wrist, eyes falling down to observes Ruby’s long fingers curl around her arm, her closely-cropped nails resting against her skin.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Regina wonders if Ruby can remember the previous evening as well as she can, if her tolerance is everything their back and forth suggested. She must, though, because there’s a trace of a self-deprecating smile as her fingers curl against their hold, sliding down to rest on the top of Regina’s hand. “But I want… you. I want to see you and talk to you and kiss you. You can’t… you can’t kiss me like that and walk away.”

Regina pulls her hand away and the tiny smile on Ruby’s lips dies instantly. Ripping the bandaid off. “I’m sorry,” she repeats, and her words prompt the waitress to reach for her glass. It’s not until she watches the girl down it in one go that she realizes it’s not water. “I really enjoyed talking to you.”

Ruby clears her throat, but her voice still sounds vodka-strained. “So talking is totally off the menu?”

“I can’t be friends with a female student.”

“Oh, com–”

“Ruby,” she says clearly and concisely, in the hopes that her meaning will get through, “ _I_ can’t be friends with a female student. My picture still pops up in tabloids. And this job is barely hanging by a string as it is.”

Ruby looks back at her defiantly, but her eyes drop and she’s quiet for long enough for Regina to assume she’s conceded. She rises from her seat and begins walking towards the door, grasping the handle before Ruby speaks.

“So your class is the only place I can see you?”

Regina’s jaw works back and forth for a minute as her hand tightens around the handleset, thumb pressed against the lever. She wants to tell Ruby off, wants to dig deep into her inherent iciness and bitch the waitress out with such ferocity that she second guesses herself every time she opens her mouth for the rest of her life. But the thought of not seeing that jawline again leaves Regina unable to openly dissuade her.

“I can’t stop you from coming to the class, Ruby. Not without reason.” Her confidence falls now, because Regina realizes that what she’s saying is true. She can’t do _anything_ , not without calling attention to herself. Ruby holds all the cards and Regina can’t tell if she knows that or not. “But this… could really ruin my career. Any career I could hope to have.”

She looks back over her shoulder at the girl, trying to figure out the complexity that is Ruby’s confidence: she can see it circle through the girl, how it seems to not be able to exist in both her posture and her speech at the same time. Her fingers twitch and twist as her mouth opens. “I wouldn’t do that.” She straightens in her seat and flicks her hair over her shoulder, eyes meeting Regina’s for a brief moment before she continues and they fall back to the tabletop. “I’m not… blackmail seems to take more nerve than I can muster outside of sex.”

Regina feels the smile break out before she can turn her head, sees Ruby’s relieved grin that her joke seems to have broken some of the ice that Regina had so carefully frozen between them. She’s glad for it, even if she won’t say as much, can feel her muscles deflating as the tension eases. It takes all the force the young teacher can muster, but she opens the door, not stepping through until she looks back at the other woman once more.

“I really wish… things were different.”

“So do I.”

Wine helps. The fact that she doesn’t have classes on Thursdays leaves her feeling comfortable enough to allow herself a wallow until well past two in the morning. Regina had called Kathryn upon her return home, had relayed the diffused situation and had been prompted to finish the bottle by her blonde friend, a demand she didn’t argue with. Kathryn is a big fan of a good sulk, so long as it was followed by revelrie. Something which she promises to guarantee Friday night, provided Regina doesn't mind that it would also involve a brief bit of business. The professor agrees when she’s assured there will be drinks provided and that it would be unlikely for any of her own colleagues to be around.

So she kills time until then, sleeping well into the next day and finishing up the final touches on her lesson plan for her Friday class. She should be working on her thesis paper, but Regina feels taking the first week of classes to settle into a routine will help her get around to it the next week. She likes to have some sort of practical justification for her procrastination. A return trip to the diner is out of the question, the same for The Rabbit Hole. _Maybe_ in a few weeks’ time she can manage to see Ruby socially without imagining what she’ll look like with her back arching off a mattress. Well, that’s not likely, but Regina’s sure she’ll eventually get ahold of the predisposition of wanting to make the image a reality whenever she sees her.

But in trying to move on from Ruby, Regina realizes how little there is to move on to. Waiting for Kathryn’s arrival on Friday makes the entire day go on and on, and she can't help her mind from wandering to the leggy waitress. She thinks to wake early and catch her running, but as soon as her pre-dawn alarm goes off it's smacked into silence. _It's just a crush,_ she reminds herself as she spends the afternoon watching the same shows she's seen on Netflix a hundred times. _A schoolgirl one at that. You'll get drunk and get over it._

The blonde doesn’t arrive until well after ten, just as Regina begins to seriously consider swapping out her dress for sweatpants. “Meeting went long,” is her only response to Regina’s exasperated look upon entering the car. She takes the out of the city on a northern road that leads to the lake miles outside of town.

“Who is this client? And why are you meeting him with a plus one at eleven on a Friday night?”

“He’s unorthodox.” Kathryn brushes her hair over one shoulder, straightening a little in her seat. “And he’s a… he imports things.”

“ _Kathryn_.”

“What?”

“Since when you represent drug dealers?”

“Drug dealers need lawyers, too,” Kathryn answers back flippantly. “And he’s not a dealer, he’s on the other side of that middleman.”

“Right, he’s a dealer to the dealers.”

“It isn’t anything hard. He’s mostly… organic. Psychedelics and stuff, but he prefers a natural high, so long as it’s been modified over time through careful plant breeding, or whatever.”

“You should probably read up on the subject a bit more before you inevitably land in court.” Kathryn makes a sound of agreement, speeding along the one lane highway, still on the stretch of road that’s lined by trees before the break that the water provides. “So you’re, what? Four years into your career? And they have you representing a drug trafficker?”

“He requested me, thank you.” The look Regina receives makes her scoff and Kathryn laughs. “Besides, I’m the only one at my firm who lives in Storybrooke, and he’s not much for meetings at the office.”

“He seems annoying.”

“A little bit. Cute, though.”

Their destination isn’t much farther, a large mansion not far from the side of the road that Regina has passed dozens of times in her life, but never paid any particular attention to. There are a flock of cars huddled around the area and Regina can’t help but check to see if any look familiar. She’s surprised to see that at least half of them are from out of state, some bearing Canadian licence plates.

There’s someone to greet them at the door, which Regina finds incredibly pompous. But the inside is artfully decorated, a little eclectic and bizarre for Regina personally, but she can feel the carefully curated feeling the owner was going for and she can’t but appreciate it. Kathryn is a person who seems preternaturally able to navigate new houses, crowds, malls – anything. A weirdly innate directional instinct that allows her to find alcohol to be found within seconds of stepping into a foreign building.

The people gathered inside the house are as diverse as the art inside, ranging in ages and apparent lifestyle choices, if their wardrobes are anything to go by. Regina’s pretty sure that there are more people of colour in this room than she’s seen in Maine as a whole, which instantly warms her to this weird party mansion hidden in the woods. The bottles on the table are top shelf and still abundant, signalling they had arrived just in time.

“So where’s your mystery client?”

“I’m sure he’s here somewhere,” Kathryn returns, pressing the too-expensive-for-guests tumbler to her lips, a file folder tucked under her arm. Regina wonders how much this guy spends in glassware if he just leaves them out for his parties. “I wanted to snoop first anyway.”

So they do, slipping upstairs and walking into the rooms with brazen disregard for any type of decorum guests were supposed to show. The owner is presumably single, judging by the only bedroom in the whole house, a large master suite decorated in checkerboard patterns and deep colours. Next to that is an office with floor to ceiling bookcases, a large desk in front of a wall of windows. They’re finally caught in what appears to be a craft room, complete with sewing machines and swatches of fabrics.

“Odd hobby for a drug dealer,” Regina comments, her fingers dancing over a sewing machine.

“On the contrary,” a voice from the doorway makes them jump and turn, finding a chestnut-haired figure leaning against the jamb. He _is_ handsome, in an intense kind of way, his blue eyes bright and dancing under his heavy brow. He looks like the type of man who could snap at a moment’s notice. He looks too young to be a trafficker. “It comes in handy when you’re in need of discreet pockets.”

“Jefferson.” Kathryn greets the man warmly, cheek kisses and all. “We were trying to find your vault room. Next time.” She turns back to Regina with a wave. “You already know Regina.”

“Know of,” Jefferson corrects as he extends his hand to take Regina’s. “I keep a close eye on politics. And you still look the same as you did when you would wind up in the paper.”

“My former infamy truly knows no bounds.” Jefferson’s smile stays in place but his eyes squint just so, enough for Regina to know she’s being analyzed. “How long have you lived here?”

The man extends his arm to direct them back down the hallway, speaking with an air of practiced casual swagger, tugging at the scarf around his neck as he does. “Not too long now. I bought it quite a few years ago, but I wasn’t able to actually move in until last year. After some extensive remodelling.”

“Why here, if I might ask?”

“It’s quiet,” he replies as they reach the stairwell, leaning against the railing to look down at the party below. “On the ocean, close to the border. Makes business easier.” His eyes slide back to the blonde and then to Regina. “How long have you known Mrs. Knight?”

“I’ve known her since she was Miss Knight.”

Jefferson’s eyes dance over to Kathryn who shrugs in return. “I liked my last name, so Jim took mine.”

“Attagirl,” the man commends before descending the staircase. “I’m glad you came tonight. Didn’t know if this would be your speed, but I figured you must get bored out of your mind in this town.”

“And you don’t?” Kathryn fires back as they reach the bottom.

“Oh, I do. It’s why I chose my line of business. Everyone needs a distraction.” They’re led back into the kitchen, the island in the middle surrounded by people and Regina realizes why when they approach. Drugs of varying degrees are laid out like party favours, which she supposes they _are_. Even in her rowdier days, Regina’s not sure she’s ever seen such a spread.

“I thought you were here for business,” Regina states as she watches her friend reach forward between people to grab something.

“Oh, right.” The forgotten file folder pressed between her side and her arm is presented to Jefferson. “You need to sign these.” She turns back to Regina and presses a transparent capsule into the palm of her hand, white powder filling the inside.

“That’s all you came here for? For him to sign a paper?”

“No, I came for the free drinks and drugs. Those could have been faxed.” Her own pill is knocked back with a swig of her drink, and over her shoulder Regina can see Jefferson’s blue eyes on her, waiting to see if she’ll do the same. It’s an unnerving audience of one, but Regina’s never been one to back down to a challenge.

It hits her a moment too late to ask what she’s taken, and when she hears “molly” spoken in return she nearly snorts. “We’re way too old for this.”

“You are, maybe.”

“Kathryn, you’re a year older than me.”

“But I’m young at heart. Your heart has aged prematurely.”

Their third wheel laughs behind them, and directs them out to the backyard where they spend the night all but ignoring the other guests as they settle around one of the large copper fire pits, this one flat and long, though she can see several other types littered about. Regina’s thankful for the seclusion, for how the party goers seem reluctant to come outside, even if a few do occasionally approach the trio and attempt to get Jefferson’s attention. It stays on Regina all night, though, she can feel him watching her out of the corner of his eye but as the MDMA kicks in, she finds herself utterly uncaring. It’s been forever since she’s had anything harder than vodka, and now she can’t remember why. Maybe access was the problem. At least it wasn’t anymore.

As the sun starts to peak up in the East, Jefferson offers them a ride back into town and it’s not until that moment that Regina realizes she hasn’t seen him touch any kind of substance all night.

“Are you just one of those weird guys who gets high on life?” Regina asks from the middle seat in the back of the man’s vintage Jaguar, painted a deep purple that has Regina admiring his eclectic nature all the more.

Jefferson laughs as he speeds along the highway, shrugging a little. “I’m not much for parties.” Regina can’t tell if she likes him or not, is still feeling far too optimistic from the drugs to allow herself to make a judgement, but she’s certainly not bored of the man. Which is saying something in this town. Downtown Storybrooke is predictably quiet, with only one light on. When Kathryn spots it, she insists it being the spot where Jefferson drops them off, despite Regina’s whining protests.

“It’s too late for pizza.”

“That’s a really terrible opinion to hold and you should feel bad for thinking it. And they make these breakfast flatbread sandwich things.” Kathryn tugs her through the door and greets the man who appears through the doorway, whose face lights up in recognition. Apparently this is a frequent stop for Kathryn, who nods when he asks if they both want her regular. Regina collapses into one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs set up in front of the window.

“Don’t get comfortable,” the blonde warns as she sits opposite, having left a bill on the counter. “I’m still wired. Let’s go to the beach. Watch the sunrise. You can try and make a move on me after all these years of pining.”

Regina scoffs and rubs her eyes, hating that she can’t stop her smile. Mostly because Kathryn always gives a smug smile in return. “I’m over blondes,” Regina breathes out. “They’re never worth the trouble.”

When their sandwiches have been completed and a juice selected for each of them, they leave the small storefront and walk the few blocks past the marina to the beach. The breeze coming off the water is chilling, but the hot meal keeps Regina from complaining when Kathryn finally settles on a spot. The sandwich is indeed deceptively good, filled to the brim with eggs, bacon, and cheese, but she refuses to give her friend the satisfaction of commenting on it, instead allowing them to fall into a mutually comfortable silence until they’re nearly finished.

“Feel better?”

“An orgasm would help.”

“Maybe someone should rethink their position on blondes.” Regina smiles but doesn’t reply, cracking open the cap on her orange juice and taking a drink. Kathryn’s setting is the nice completion to the night but Regina wasn’t able to keep her mind off Ruby for long intervals that night, and now that she’s watching the sun rise again, it’s near impossible. Kathryn seems to sense her mind wandering, asking her question before taking a bite of her sandwich. “Was she really that hot?”

“Mm,” is Regina’s only response. She stalls by taking another drink and Kathryn is predictably too impatient to try and wait out one of Regina’s stubborn silences.

“If you’d go out once in awhile, you wouldn’t have this problem. You’re hot, rich, and educated, and only one of those things is gonna turn someone off.”

“I don’t like going out. I don’t like people.”

“You really should have followed in your mother’s footsteps.” Regina laughs and takes another long drink until her bottle is empty. Next to her, Kathryn crumples up the paper her sandwich had been wrapped in and stretches her arms above her head. “Well, at least there’s always some attractive, young co-eds to take your mind off things.” She nudges Regina’s shoulder and nods towards her left. “Looking won’t hurt.”

Regina follows her gaze and isn’t at all surprised to see her. She’s closing in fast, facing downward as her ponytail swings behind her, dressed in shorts, a sports bra, and a hoodie that surely can’t be doing much while open. It’s giving Regina a good view of her abdomen as she approaches, barely able to make herself shift her gaze upwards when Ruby does the same, her face unable to hide the shock upon stumbling across her. She slows to a jog and then finally comes to a stop a few feet away, hands on her hips as her eyes shift from Regina to Kathryn.

“Professor Mills.”

Kathryn guffaws and Regina’s elbow shoots out to jab her in the side. “This is Kathryn,” she blurts, unable to stop herself as the confusing follow up comes, “She’s my lawyer.”

She can feel the other two women give her mirrored looks of befuddlement, but Kathryn eventually proves her worth as a friend and saves the silence from lingering. “I also moonlight as her friend.”

“I remember. You always had great taste in clothes.”

“I did,” she laments, and Regina can just imagine all the thoughts running through her head about how her outfits consist of business-friendly attire now, try as she might to make them interesting. “Do you seriously get up this early on the weekends?”

The brunette shrugs, her hands falling down to the ends of her hoodie, and for a brief moment Regina is terrified she’s thinking about zipping it up. It’s then that she notices the yellowing skin peeking from underneath the fabric, blinking her eyes to try to correct the difference she’s spotted. “Sometimes. I don’t sleep much. It’s still tonight for me, though.”

“Us, too.”

Perfectly sculpted eyebrows rise a little while Regina reminds herself to slap Kathryn later. “Made it through the first week of classes,” she offers as a way of explanation.

“Well, that’s definitely deserving of a reward.” She stalls for a moment, the tip of her sneaker digging into the sand as her eyes fall on Regina and her mouth opens. “If you guys are up to breakfast... or your second breakfast, I guess, I'll, um, be at the diner, so I can swing it.”

“Finally, all these years of being friends with you and your connections pay off.” Hard, straight across the face. A nice slap. But Kathryn continues on despite Regina's glares, eyes falling down Ruby's body far too conspicuously. “We'll be there.”

She'd smack her now if Ruby's smile hadn't turned so bright. So she lets her leave with the notion in her mind, staring stubbornly forward towards the waves as Kathryn looks around her to watch her go. When Ruby is a far enough distance away, Regina takes to smacking at her arm over and over again.

“What the hell is the matter with you?!”

“You didn’t tell me she looked like _that_. I say go for it.”

“You’re the worst lawyer.”

“But a great friend.”

Regina glares icily but the image of the sun glinting off the girl’s abs is invading her thoughts. Her eyes close but her posture remains stiff as she grips the empty bottle in her hand. “All I think about is fucking her until she can’t breathe.”

“Well.” When she opens her eyes Kathryn’s eyebrows are raised in consideration. She stands before continuing.  “That got me going. I think I’ll go home and fuck my husband. Wanna join?” Regina accepts the hand held out to her but shakes her head, a smile on her face. “Too bad. I could Facetime you if you wanted, that’d be close enough to a threesome for him.”

* * *

 

Ruby really should get her sleep schedule in some semblance of order, but she’s always found herself to benefit from a sporadic set of short burst naps. It’s hard to keep her attention for long, even when sleeping. It physically pains her to sit still for too long, whether at work or while marathoning a tv show.

Regina keeps her attention, though. She's like a horror movie villain, waiting to pop up at any lull in the music, ready to spur it on again. It leaves Ruby to attend to herself on solo, unsatisfying missions that rarely do anything but leave her angry. Drinking only seems to exacerbate the feeling, but Ruby has nothing else to distract her from herself. Other than work. She supposes this is what other people do with those ‘friends’ they’re always talking about. Ruby used to have a lot of them and, looking back, she wonders how she ever managed. Feigning civility for anything but a tip was out of her reach these days.

A surprised, genuine smile comes to her face, though, when a group of college aged girls come through the front door of the diner. The blondes are strangers to her, but she recognizes that shock of jet black hair anywhere, even if it's been trimmed.

“Mary Margaret?" It’s unmistakeable, even if she’s tried her hardest to change it since graduation. Gone is the long, wavy hair that framed her face in such a painfully angelic wave. She’s given her locks up for a pixie cut and Ruby kind of hates her for it. The choice has done nothing to sharpen her baby-soft edges, but it’s a change nonetheless. Her smile, however, is the same. Framed by deep red lips and stretching across her face as she nearly pushes tables out of the way to throw her arms around Ruby. At Ruby’s hiss she lessens her grip and gives an apologetic look before resituating her arms to wrap around Ruby’s waist.

“Your grandmother told me about the accident, she said you might be coming back, but I haven’t seen you so I assumed – well, it doesn’t matter!” She’s the same, despite the haircut. Still babbling, still far too unaware of personal space and its importance. But Ruby doesn’t mind. She missed the feel of Mary Margaret’s warm hands, the mothering instinct she seems to have been born with. “You’re back! You should have called me.”

“I didn’t know if you were still in town,” she replies lamely. She knew and now she feels guilty and mad at herself for putting it off in favour of drinks with Whale. But those nights are easy and predictable, actual socializing requires effort. Being in Mary Margaret’s presence makes her wonder why she was dreading this day so much. It’s been four years since they’ve seen one another, Ruby supposes Mary Margaret is better at leaving the past in the past.

“You know me, I’m a lifer.” Her smile is so painfully genuine that Ruby feels like digging a hole to bury herself in upon seeing it. The dark haired girl glances over her shoulder, reaching to grab Ruby’s wrist without looking and tugging her along. “Come meet my friends, you’ll love them. They’ll love you.”

Her friends in question are sitting in the corner booth, pressed into the same side with barely a hair’s width between them. They have similar features, blonde hair, blue eyes, fair skin, but the differences are there. The taller one with her white-blonde hair, round face, and icy aqua eyes, the shorter with golden locks, more defined cheeks, and deep ocean eyes. When they look up to see them, the shorter one looks slightly put off by their interrupting of the moment.

“Emma, Elsa, this is Ruby. We were best friends growing up.” It’s easier than she expects it to be, this socializing thing. Perhaps it’s because Emma and Elsa, despite their insufferable names and even more insufferably perfect skin, are relatively low-key, a choice Ruby wouldn’t have picked for Mary Margaret’s circle of friends. When she’s thought about Mary Margaret over the years, she imagined Mary Margaret’s life with education and careers not at all playing a part of it. Surrounded by babies and weirdly happy about that fact is what she’s pictured. That and cardigans. Just a closet full of pastel cardigans.

She wasn’t off about that last part, judging by the fabric peeking out of Mary Margaret’s jacket, but she was indeed wrong about her priorities. She is finishing up a degree in teaching, some Portland university that has a building on the Storybrooke campus, where a few of their classes are. Of course Mary Margaret would be the type to choose an out of town school as long as she could stay in town as much as possible. Ruby knows she can’t hold much superiority over her after coming back with a half-finished degree. Teaching, seems fitting for her. That’s where she met Elsa. When Emma is asked what her field of study is, she barely grunts out, “Criminology”. Ruby decides she likes Emma.

Ruby stays with them until her first actual customer arrives, prompting her to remember that she probably should have been treating Mary Margaret and the rest as such. After seeing to the lone patron, she grabs a few menus and the coffee pot and rejoins them on and off for the rest of the afternoon. Phone numbers are exchanged, and Mary Margaret gives her another lingering hug before leaving, and Ruby finds herself relieved to have spent multiple conscious hours not thinking about Regina. Until remembering that fact brings hours of repressed Regina worshipping to the forefront of her mind. The time of day strikes her, and she spends the whole dinner rush holding her breath as each customer continues to not be her teacher.

It's Kathryn who eventually appears, wearing sunglasses at dusk and all alone. The diner is empty and Ruby isn’t sure if she prefers it that way. The blonde’s skin is pale and her only greeting upon taking a seat at the counter is to wave on the coffee pot. She doesn’t speak until half of the cup has been drained, and only then does she add sugar and cream.

“It hasn’t been a great recovery. I should stick to booze. I won’t, but I should.” She stops and pulls off her shades and rubs her eyes, groaning and swearing under her breath. “I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that.”

It takes Ruby a second to realize what she’s talking about, refilling the half empty mug and receiving a grateful groan in response. “It was pretty obvious that she was rolling. Well, more obvious that you were, but she got stuck blinking for like a minute straight and I don’t think she noticed.”

Kathryn guffaws in response, taking another long drink. “Well, so much for all her warnings. I did try to get her to join me, but she was pretty clearly ready to murder me when I showed up. I thought it would be good to talk to you on my own anyway.”

“As her lawyer or as her friend?”

“Oh, a good mix of both.” Kathryn raises her hand as Ruby opens her mouth to speak. “I refuse to continue this conversation without the promise of starch and fat, so some bacon and eggs, please. Sunny side up. Brown toast. And by bacon, I mean as much as you can morally find it within yourself to give another human being for a single serving meal.”

“Is she really worried? That I’m gonna go leaking all of her secrets to BuzzFeed or something?” Ruby asks immediately upon return to her spot behind the counter, hands gripping the edges as if to keep her anchored in spot. But Kathryn, for whatever reason, is willing to talk – quite possibly just for the extra bacon. “I didn’t… I have no idea what I’m doing. I just can’t meet her and then forget it.”

“She’s very unforgettable. And to answer your question: a little. I don’t think she thinks you’re the type, but she’s pretty worried about one of your classmates having less discretion than you might.” Her disquieting blue eyes find Ruby’s across the counter, making her fear the day she would ever have to face this woman in a courtroom. “Besides, your insistence on staying in her class isn’t exactly a show of good faith. Or judgement.”

Ruby’s eyes fall for a moment. “I like her lectures. She’s a good teacher.”

“I’m sure she is. She likes to play the victim and act like it was all her last name, but she isn’t totally useless as a human being without it. Will you get me a glass of water?” Ruby does so promptly, desperate to take any crumbs the blonde is willing to offer. “What do you want from her, exactly? A quick fuck or to ride off into the sunset?”

Ruby glances around furtively, despite the fact that the only other person in the building is behind the grill. Kathryn raises an eyebrow in response, perfectly arched and menacing. “I don't know," she insists again stubbornly. "What does Regina want?”

Kathryn sizes her up for a moment, dragging it out long enough for the bell on the counter to sound and make Ruby jump. The blonde waves her over to fetch the plate, taking a long drink of water and readying herself with the pepper shaker nearby. When the plate is set in front of her, she goes about her task and Ruby wonders if she’s going to have to ask again.

“I believe her exact words were,” Kathryn begins, grabbing a wedge of toast and stabbing it through the bright yellow yolk of her egg, “‘All I think about is fucking her until she can’t breathe.’” She rolls her neck to the side, speaking with an air of indifference that makes everything she says seem as casual as an everyday greeting, but her eyes snap to Ruby to gauge her reaction once more.

The words had gone straight to her stomach and left her brain in a heady fog, she can feel her cheeks are warm and her grip on the counter is death-like. The words are invigorating and terrifying in equal measures, and even if she didn’t hear them come from Regina’s lips, Kathryn’s low tone is enough to make her legs weak.

“Well, it would seem you're not all that prepared to deal with what _she_ wants. Because that's the very minimum. She's not much for one night stands or casual flings. Regina's an all or nothing kinda gal.” She grabs a piece of bacon and takes a bite with her eyes still on Ruby, who's having trouble processing the words being thrown at her. Kathryn seems somewhat confused about the response, her head tilting to the side. “And I don’t know if she’s going to risk her career for someone who doesn’t seem to want the same. Unless, of course, you do.”

Lawyers and their need for definitive answers. Ruby doesn’t know if she likes Kathryn anymore. “I just… want to talk to her.”

“And fuck her?” Her face goes bright red, she can practically feel the heat radiating off her cheeks. This is such a bizarre feeling for her, one she hasn’t experienced in years. So pedestrian. “Is it really possible that someone who looks like you do, could possibly be a virgin?”

Something about the question allows the waitress to snap back into a familiar, self-effacing humour that usually blankets her conversations and gives off an air of vague confidence. “About eight years, and twenty guys too late for that.”

A grin splits across Kathryn’s hardened face, her eyes suddenly dancing as they remain on the girl. “ _Twenty?_ I always thought you’d turn out to be a good girl. Why is that?”

“It’s the teeth. I have good teeth.”

“Could be it,” Kathryn agrees before taking a bite of a strip of bacon. Her gaze finally falls to her plate, grabbing the nearby fork laid out before her to slide one of her eggs onto wedge of toast. She slips in her next sentence nonchalantly. “So it’s the fact that she’s a woman? Didn’t take you for the religious type either. Granny’s never particularly come off as… pious.”

“No, I-I… She’s – we’re not. Religious.” She clears her throat, but Ruby can feel her lower jaw getting ready to shake in advance so her words wobble, her tongue set in a state of pre-twist to insure they stumble out past her lips. “If I have an immortal soul, it’s fucked. I-I don’t… I mean, if God exists, he kinda seems like a real prick, so whatever.”

“Then why do you look and seem as if you’re in the midst of a short-circuit in your wires?” Ruby calms down at the question but has no answer to give as she asks herself the same. She knows why, it’s buried there in the back of the dusty corners of her mind. Where it will remain, as far as she’s concerned. Kathryn allows her question to linger as she clears half of her plate, but finally picks up on the lack of forthcoming information and the fact that Ruby will remain standing in front of her until she leaves. “I really didn’t come here to say anything, you know. To discourage or encourage you. Obviously Regina would have preferred it if I hadn’t come at all.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I wanted to see if you were as hot as I remembered you to be, or if that molly was just incredibly generous. It wasn’t, you’re just gorgeous,” she says impassively, wiping any trace of a compliment out with her matter-of-fact tone. “Apparently you’re a very memorable kisser. I’m sure there are more than twenty boys and Regina to attest to that. You seem smart and funny and I can certainly see why Regina was charmed, but you’re clearly very confused and I’m not sure if she can deal with that. Her fears about her job are well-founded, as she is still very much gossiped about amongst many circles and still well-known to people thanks to some particularly widespread news pieces, and I’m sure you know of what I’m referring to. Relationships between faculty and students is indeed something she could be fired for and the jackass of a Dean would be all but thrilled to throw her out.”

“I’d sign a a sworn statement, affidavit, whatever.” Ruby’s voice is solid again, something that seems easier to accomplish when she’s not talking about herself. Kathryn, of course, knows how to take the wind right out of her sails, though.

“Would you?” She asks it so sharply it leaves Ruby feeling like she’s already under pressure to do so.

“Yes. I don't – I have no interest in profiting off her name, I don't even want it to be known.”

“Even though all you seem to be able to come to terms with is your desire to talk to her?” That shuts Ruby up again, her mouth _almost_ forming a word before one of her blonde eyebrows quirks up. It only takes half a minute for her to push her plate forward, throw a bill down on the table, and collect what remains of her bacon in a few folded napkins before Ruby can protest the money. “Again, I didn’t come to dissuade you. Regina seemed really taken. I just wanted to lay everything out for you. You very clearly are unsure of what you want and she has real stakes on the line.”

She leaves without another word, bacon in hand as she steps out into the night and Ruby is left standing behind the counter watching her disappear from the view the windows grant her. When she looks down she notices that Kathryn had slapped down a fifty, leaving her to bemusedly think about how this situation was at least working out for her financially, even if it was leaving her as an emotionally exhausted mess. Kathryn’s right. She needs to figure out what she wants.

But Ruby has no idea how to process events like humans do. Her entire defense mechanism is to let every experience that causes the least bit of grief to roll off her back, never to bother her again. She’s gotten through plenty of abandonment issues and bad hook-ups with it. Regina’s stuck, though. She’s wanted her since before she knew she did or even could. As she folds and re-folds the bill in her hand, Mary Margaret’s face comes barreling to the front of her mind and sending a shudder down her spine. Ruby shakes it off and blocks it out, going through the what remains of the night robotically until she can return to her room and find a bottle of something strong so she can ignore the urge to spend the rest of the evening in the shower.

School at least provides some distraction, even if the building is a standing reminder of Regina. Storybrooke, at least, has a wide arrangement of Fine Arts and Art courses, and Ruby’s choice of mostly elective classes has left her with little worry about getting through them. She has an interesting English teacher, and a fascinating course in Art History. But the waitress finds herself missing the comfort of numbers, of set answers and equations to make the questions make sense, rather than having to try to explain _why_ things make sense. Maybe signing up for school last minute on a whim wasn’t a terribly smart idea, but Ruby needs some reason to get out of her place of work/home other than a bar, and this was an easy choice. She can afford to waste money for once, and it feels like less of a waste when she was receiving an education in return.

When Wednesday rolls around, however, she once more finds herself utterly conflicted at how to approach the situation. She’s dressed in her school-appropriate wear, as her one and only boyfriend used to call it. The red skirt appropriately reaching the middle of her thigh, her polka-dotted blouse loose and flowing, tucked in and covering everything it’s supposed to be covering. As she approaches the auditorium where Narrative in Film takes place, she adjusts the wide brown suede belt that’s cinching the top of her skirt, stopping before walking through the open doors. Last week, Regina started speaking precisely at the turn of the minute, which is fast approaching. Ruby knows waiting will only make it inevitable for the woman to see her find a seat, but she can’t bring herself to move until she hears her commanding voice fill the room.

“Welcome back, and perhaps just welcome. I didn’t particularly want to check the class list this week. It’s a nice surprise to still see so many filled seats.” Ruby wonders if she means that, wonders if she’s looking for the waitress amongst the rows of students, wonders if she’s relieved to not find her there. She peeks in the open doorway because she has to, has to take in Regina and see if there’s any kind of noticeable sign that she’s still thinking about Ruby. She’s wearing her glasses again, her hair down and straightened, shining under the lights above the podium. The black dress she’s wearing is simple, but clearly tailored for her body, hugging her perfectly.

“Today we’re going to be watching _Run Lola Run_ , a German film directed by Tom Tykwer. If you’re adverse to subtitles, I can assure you that the fast-paced storyline will keep you thoroughly engaged. And it was my one concession to including more foreign films, a friend told me that Canadian ones didn’t count.” There’s a burst of laughter across the class and Regina’s eyes survey them for a moment, coming to a dead stop when she spots Ruby’s half-form in the doorway. They have a second between them, one connected across the space and people between them, when Regina nods assent for Ruby to enter, to find a seat. But Kathryn’s words are still filling her head, have been for the past four days, and Ruby can’t bring herself to move forward. She takes a shaky step back, still caught in the teacher’s gaze, and then another, until eventually the stairs block out Ruby’s view of Regina standing at her spot below the large screen.

_So, that’s that,_ she thinks as she heads towards her car. _Decision made. Class dropped. Bear not poked._ It’s better this way, Ruby knows this. Kathryn was right, she really has zero idea of what she wants with Regina once she gets within reach of her. And Regina isn’t in a place for an exploratory… thing. Relationship was far too big a word for Ruby to wrap her mind around these days. Her last one, which, incidentally, had been her first one, ended in the worst kind of way. It had been a big catalyst in Ruby moving home, where she was sure to find no one. She hadn’t counted on Regina popping up and ruining Ruby’s perfect nothingness with her… everything.

Granny raises an eyebrow when she returns to the diner early, but doesn’t comment on it, only tosses an apron to her granddaughter and tells her to change because the dinner rush is starting. Ruby obeys without question, taking the stairs to her room two at a time and dropping her backpack on the floor. It’s easy to lose herself in work, even if a group of guys from Mary Margaret’s school walk in soon after her arrival and stay far longer than needed, their eyes falling to Ruby every time hers leaves their table. She’s glad to be wearing jeans and a regular button-up shirt instead of her shorts, not in the mood for more leers than necessary.

“So.”

She glances up from the register to find her grandmother at her side. “I dropped it,” is all she offers as an explanation as she continues on ringing through the receipts in her hand, dropping in the bills and sorting out her tips. The boys were either not affluent or not good with women, they had stiffed her. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Are you going to pick up something else?”

“Probably not. Which is my decision.”

“I’m not trying to start a fight, Ruby. I just need to know for the schedules.”

Ruby sighs and rubs her face. “I’m sorry. I’ve been on edge since school started.”

“You should go out more. Your friends came by looking for you earlier.” Upon her furrowed eyebrows her grandmother continues, “Mary Margaret and two blondes. She said she tried calling you this weekend.”

Ruby had seen the name pop up on her phone Sunday afternoon and had promptly gone on an hour long run, desperate for an excuse to make herself feel less guilty for not answering. “Yeah, I should. Will. Maybe this weekend.”

She doesn’t, naturally. When Friday night arrives the only number she dials is Whale’s and she likes to think it’s because he’s the only one who makes her feel like a better person by comparison, simply by existing in his current lecherous state.

“Wear something slutty.”

“I’m not wearing something slutty for you. Slutty clothes are for people I’m trying to impress,” is her response to the phone pressed between her shoulder and ear.

“Well, perhaps you’d find it prudent to impress your dealer. Seems like a smart course of action.”

“I’m not fucking him.”

“You might change your mind when you see him.”

Whale’s advice is smart, but to prove that she only half listens to him, Ruby wears something only moderately revealing. A backless black halter top tucked into skintight, dark jeans with rips littered around. The drive to the place is longer than she had assumed it would be when Whale informed her it was indeed a Storybrooke address. He clarifies, as they drive along the tree lined road stretching out of Storybrooke, that it stretches the town boundaries.

“Oh god,” is her only response upon seeing the house they come to a stop at, the large manor that backed onto an even larger lot. “I didn’t think you meant, like… a professional. Since when do you know professionals?”

“He’s the owner of The Rabbit. I’ve spent far more time there than you. Networking.” She scoffs and the blonde laughs in return, extending his arm for her to take as he leads her into the house. It’s wonderful and bizarre in equal measures, the kind of house a seven year-old Ruby would have designed and loved. The crowd, though, leaves her feeling ill at ease; the suffocating mix of cross-generational hipsters and hippies, all of whom look far too well groomed for the clothes they’re in. Her gaze stops on one man in the middle of the room, who is somehow pulling off a dress shirt, vest, and decorative ascot without looking ridiculous or at all like the people around him who are trying to match his attire. He’s intensely handsome, with fierce blue eyes that look stormy and ready to turn terrifying. But his face is relaxed, a smile appearing as Whale calls out.

“Jefferson! My one and only friend.” Ruby would be offended, but not being considered Whale’s friend seems like positive thing in her life. She’s being dragged forward into the hipster hellmouth and she finds herself desperate for one of the glasses filled with brown liquid she sees in the other guests hands. “I’d like to introduce you to Ruby, the woman of my dreams who refuses to give into her passion for me.”

Ruby forgoes rolling her eyes, feeling exhausted already at the night she’s in store for with Whale as her companion. Jefferson doesn’t seem to take notice of his presence, though, his interest clearly on Ruby in the same kind of all-consuming way Regina seems to devote her own attention. His smile is pleasant enough, but in a cloying way that implies it’s a practised cover.

“Ruby. It’s nice to meet you. I try to eat vegetarian,” _Strike one_ , Ruby thinks, “but your grandmother’s meatloaf and hot roast beef sandwiches always pull me back in whenever I pass by. I can’t help myself.” _Okay, maybe ball one._ His eyes stay on hers, his demeanour respectful with his hands clasped behind his back. He looks stone cold sober which is another thing she can’t bring herself to trust, but she follows him when he nods his head towards the staircase and bids her to join him. She can hear Whale protesting behind her but she doesn’t particularly care at the moment. She’s in need of new friends, after all, might as well put some time in with a handsome one with connections.

Besides, he’s both quiet and interesting, a combination Ruby thought forgotten on this town. He doesn’t make idle smalltalk, which she’s grateful for, just leads her to a large room at the end of the hall, set up with a lone sewing machine and a custom built case on the far wall, featuring a multitude of showcase windows full of hats. It’s fascinating in that ‘he’s definitely going to use my skin to make himself a new human suit’ kind of way.

“A good old fashioned pothead, huh?”

“That’s me,” Ruby confirms as she takes a closer look at one of the hats, a stove pipe made of purple velvet. Maybe he was just festive. She was still betting on deranged, though. “I mean, I’m a woman of all types. But that’s what I’m looking for.”

“Are you?” he asks with renewed interest, a quirk of smile returning to his lips. She doesn’t know why he finds it so odd, he literally just met her. “Well, I am just meeting so many interesting young women this week.”

“Watch out. A girl’s bound to start feeling less special, even if she is getting a private tour of the craft room for some indiscernible reason.”

He gives a charming laugh, deep from his stomach, and walks towards one of the cabinets, opening a latch on the knob and revealing a coded lock. “How much are you looking for? And I noticed that you don’t have a purse, so I’m curious as to whether or not you were just going to walk around holding a bag of weed.”

“That’s the plan. Well, at least until I get to the car. Whale and I weren’t planning on staying.” There’s a folded stack of bills in her back pocket burning a hole and now that she has the option, she’s wondering if she doesn’t want anything stronger to help her get over the weekend. Pot was her attempt at a compromise, though. “An ounce. Maybe two, depending on how much you’re charging. I like to buy in bulk.”

“Romantic night at home, with you, Whale, and your bulk purchase of weed, huh?” Her face twists up and he gives another laugh in response as he opens the case and removes the crushed leather cowboy hat inside and then removes the back of the panel. He reaches in and grabs two bags before returning everything to its proper order. “I’ll get you a bag. You can stay for a drink. It’s expensive and on me.”

“Can you really afford this place on what you make selling to the people bored out of their minds in Maine?” she asks as she hands over the money in her back pocket, the same amount she used to pay for what seems to be considerably cheaper weed when she looks at the product she’s holding. He takes it without counting, which only adds to her wonder.

“I don’t sell. Well, not often. This is just the stuff I keep around, I mostly deal with transporting product across the border.” _I could be an undercover cop, you idiot. I could be wearing a wire._ But he’s getting her a small gift bag from one of the many drawers by the sewing machine, so she tells her internal voice to be nicer to this drug dealer who doesn’t count her money and gives her things to transport his product in. “I don’t even do much myself.”

“What do you do?” Heroin, maybe. He just has that feel about him. He looks too calm and put together to be a cokehead or meth addict, so she’s writing stimulants off the list. Maybe shrooms. No, too tame. LSD. The house screams LSD.

“Hash once in awhile.” She wouldn’t have picked that. It seems too low level, not expensive enough for this man who’s wearing a silk ascot. Smoke of any kind seemed beyond him.

“I’ve never tried hash.”

“No? Then I guess we have your new reason to stay. It’s even better than the drinks. Come with me.” He leads her through the house again, a hand on the small of her exposed back, a move that feels less creepy and predatory than when other men do the same. Jefferson comes off as genuine in his interest in Ruby, though she can’t tell to what end. He’s not really flirting with her, but she supposes he could be one of those men who doesn’t feel the need to do so and just waits for women to fall at his handsome feet, adorned in patent leather shoes.

_Too early to tell,_ she decides. After having stopped for a drink upon request of seeing her favourite brand of rye on the table, her eyebrows furrow as she finds herself stepping out into the backyard which stretches for miles as far as she can tell in the darkness. What parts she can see are beautifully landscaped, with different gathering areas splayed about with fire pits burning at some. Jefferson leads her to the farthest one, the one that’s unmolested by the crowds gathering at the others. She takes a seat when directed, on one of the large outdoor sectionals. The brazier in front of them is circular, its structure made to resemble a waterless globe, filled with fire instead.

His eyes glance around to see if anyone’s taken notice to them, but no one has. He lifts the cushion of the long, extending piece to reveal the storage underneath. Jefferson pulls out what looks like tiny metal pipe, a torch lighter, and a small tin, which contains little pellets of what looks like black tar. It reminds her of heroin and sets her on edge, enough that when he gets the apparatus ready and hands it to her she shakes her head.

“You first.”

His smile grows, as if he were delighted by the idea that he could do his own drugs. Maybe he’s just thrilled by her distrust of him. Ruby is usually good at getting people from a first read of them, but Jefferson is purposefully enigmatic and seems to take pride in being so. He follows her instructions, though, clicking the butane lighter and starting the steady flame to hold it over the top of the pipe. The smell is sweet when it hits her, familiar as he inhales a few times and then passes it over once more.

Ruby remains a little wary, but she’s interested in Jefferson, even if he is just another mysterious complication to appear in her life out of nowhere. She takes the pipe and the lighter, and tries to recover some of the street cred she’s undoubtedly lost with all of her stalling. She almost coughs when it hits her, not from the smoke, but from the surprise. The hash is indeed sweet, honey oil infused with maple, and before she even exhales she feels as stoned as she’s ever been.

“Oh god, it tastes like I’m smoking pancakes.”

Jefferson laughs and nods, his smile a little less controlled now. “It’s pretty fantastic. And addictive. I’ll have to give you some to try.”

“I don’t have anymore cash on–”

“It’s my treat. My thank you for your family saving me from a life of vegetarianism.” She wants to protest, mostly because she doesn’t trust a drug dealer – importer, whatever, to give her something for nothing. But Jefferson is shutting her down before she can start, standing from their spot with a level of grace Ruby can’t comprehend with her mind pulsating like her heart. “But if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I think I spot my lawyer. She’s probably been looking for me.”

“Your lawyer comes to your house parties?”

“She’s as unorthodox a lawyer as I am a client. Thankfully, this means our meetings our usually quite compact.” His blue eyes look down at her, his face half-hidden in the shadows from the flickering firelight. “I hope you haven’t disappeared when I’ve finished. It’s not often someone I actually like to talk to comes through my front door, it’s a nice change of pace.”

He reminds her a bit, she decides as he walks away adjusting his shirt, of some sort of British antihero in a Brontë novel. One who’s as likely to snap and turn mad as he is to whisk you off your feet and kiss you. He’s not boring and that’s something. He’s very obviously not at all like his choice of hometown. Ruby’s tongue feels heavy and sticky, prompting her to remember the drink sitting next to her feet next to a gift bag full of marijuana. She definitely didn’t want to forget that.

Ruby hasn’t been this stoned since she took her first long hit almost a decade ago, she’s never enjoyed it near as much. Sitting here watching the world burn from the inside out, far enough from the revelrie that the party is just background noise. She wants to move, the action proving to require immense concentration, though her arms move as if they’re made of air. The waitress stretches her arms above her head and turns to look out into the darkness, waiting for it to come and overtake her.

“Are you real?”

She whips around at the voice, moving too quickly and leaving her head dizzy as her already aching lungs beg for more air. Regina’s standing there, looking utterly bewildered to find the girl before her, her brown eyes wide and taken over by the blacks of her pupils.

“I’m really high. Please don’t ask me questions like that.”

Regina blinks and her eyebrows furrow, but Ruby can see her posture loosening. “It _is_ you. You are here. Why are you here?”

“Why are you here?”

The older woman grimaces a little at the question, and though she appears calm, Ruby can see the manic energy underneath her skin twitching to be released. “Because you’re not supposed to be.”

“Oh.”

The fire crackles to keep them from silence as they stand apart from each other in their equally fucked up states of mind. Ruby allows her eyes to fall, to travel up her shapely legs to the flowing button up blouse that gave a peek of the bra underneath it. It looks lacy and it makes her hands itch. If Kathryn had asked her at this very moment what she wanted with Regina, she would actually have an answer. She doesn’t really know what to do, is waiting for Regina to make the first move like she always does, but the woman seems annoyed with Ruby and she doesn’t really know what she should do to make that better so she sits down and looks at the ground because that’s what seven year-old Ruby is telling her to fall back on.

“Why didn’t you come to class?”

It’s Ruby’s turn to blink. Isn’t that obvious? Is it just obvious to her because she’s high? Because Regina is high, too, and it seems like she should cancel things out. Maybe it’s because she’s on something else. Maybe Ruby should stop thinking and just say something. “Because… because I can’t… have you within reach if you’re not. It’s too confusing. I don’t want to just turn into some face in the class. And that’s all I can be, so I’d rather not be anything.”

She can’t make out Regina’s face, which is blocked in shadows thanks to Russia’s space on the globular brazier. Ruby sets her glass down in the spot it had been in before, tucks the bag behind her leg because for some reason, despite Regina’s own obvious impairment, it seems embarrassing to be buying pot from the same place Regina seems to come to unwind. She takes a step forward and comes into the firelight thanks to the Pacific Ocean, her fingers twitching and twisting at her sides as she does.

“That’s probably for the best.” _‘All I think about is fucking her until she can’t breathe.’_ If Ruby could just hear her say it, she would probably be able to move on with her life. She just needs to hear _Regina_ say something like that to her and then she’ll log it in her memory and only bring it out when necessary. She could get by with that, right? “I’d hate to turn you into me, after all.”

Ruby’s eyes snap up to Regina’s then, her brows drawn together. “What do you mean?”

Regina takes the spot next to her, _right_ next to her and the smell of her perfume just makes Ruby’s head spin all the more. “My last girlfriend was older. Position of power thing. My mother’s biggest donor, to be specific. It was mostly to piss her off. Then I just got… wrapped up.”

“It’s not about that. I don’t want that. It seems creepy. And I hate that you’re a teacher.”

She turns to look at Ruby, her hand raising and her thumb coming up to just _barely_ brush against Ruby’s lower lip before her touch drops away completely. “Maybe my career is a good reason to stop you from making a huge mistake.”

She has to kiss her then because Ruby’s all about huge mistakes, and has been for ten years and counting. She grabs Regina’s face with both of her hands and pulls her close, cementing their lips together. Regina responds immediately, as if she had been waiting for the excuse, all teeth and tongues as she had been last time. Her hands run over Ruby’s jaw and down her neck, finally ending on the waitress’ exposed back, her palm burning against Ruby’s skin. It’s a push and pull between them again, and Regina seems unable to stay still next to her, she’s practically pulling Ruby into her lap as her other hand falls to her hip and her legs swing closer to try to diminish any space between them.

The kiss is similar to their previous one, but something in Regina’s demeanour that's different than the last time. Maybe it's the drugs, but she seems possessive this time around, less teasing than she had been during their first kiss, clearly not at all on the same page as she was when she last walked into the diner. She's vicious and demanding and Ruby can't help but submit, the harder Regina presses, the more Ruby finds herself relaxing against her touch like every rough hold is as soothing as a massage. And now that she's in this position again, she can't find a reason as to why she can't find words for how much she wants this when she doesn't have it. She wants to be kissed like this everyday for the rest of her life.

And Regina clearly isn’t at all conflicted tonight, as she pulls away from Ruby’s mouth with her lower lip caught between her teeth, her mouth leaving a trail of hot kisses along her jaw. Every time her tongue brushes against Ruby’s skin the girl feels like she’s going to combust, and her cheek is impossibly smooth against her own. It’s unnerving just how badly Ruby **wants** , at the tight ache that’s already taken over her stomach, but still she eases into Regina’s touch, as pliable as she can be.

That’s why she doesn’t move when she sees him coming to a stop in the distance, clearly having finished with his meeting with his lawyer. Jefferson does nothing to try to break their reprieve, and though she can’t make out his features in the darkness, there doesn’t seem to be anything all that lecherous about his intrusion. This is his property after all. But Ruby desperately wishes he weren’t there and wonders how he would feel to know that he has become a representation of reality barreling into their scene, even if all he’s doing is just standing there. She thinks Jefferson would hate that fact, to become counterculture to everything his house and this wonderland away from civilization is clearly trying to represent.

Ruby doesn’t move, but Regina must be able to sense her mind wander, feel the girl in her hold no longer react to her touch in such a visible way. As she pulls back, Ruby almost yanks her into her once more by her hair, but it’s too late. Regina’s head snaps over to their uninvited guest and Ruby can see the her face go through stages of disbelief, anger, and fear as she makes out who it is and completely drops her hold of Ruby.

“Regina, don’t–”

She’s up and standing before Ruby can finish the sentence, her mouth slack and her eyes lost in a sea of black. She looks terrified.

“I’m sorry, I _really_ didn’t mean to intrude. I had been hoping to smoke some more pancakes with Ruby here, but I can see she’s otherwise occupied.”

Regina’s face twists into confusion for a moment as she tries to work the sentence over in her head, but Ruby can see she’s already withdrawing again, steeling herself off before anything can be done. When Ruby reaches out to touch her, she rips her hand away as if she’s been burned, glancing down to see the cause and appearing confused and afraid to find Ruby there instead. Maybe trying to tongue-fuck the woman she’s recently agreed to stay away from while said woman is clearly tripping her ass off, wasn’t the best approach to getting over that same woman. It seems Ruby’s a lot better at getting over men.

She leaves without another word, but is stopped by Jefferson as she passes him on the way to the house. “Kathryn was looking for you. And if you’re worried, don’t be. I think it’s safe to say we’re both counting on one another for a little trust.”

Ruby watches her walk away until she’s disappeared into the house, her body tense with disappointment, nails digging into the weather-friendly seat cushions. Her gaze doesn’t remains stuck on the building in the distance as Jefferson approaches and takes his previous spot on the sectional, a respectable distance between them. He proceeds to clean out the pipe on the ground, refilling it and lighting it once more, all without a word. Ruby’s attention is finally pulled when she sees smoke rings being blown. She’s always wanted to learn how to do that.

“Do you know who she is?” Jefferson asks as he holds the pipe out to her. She probably shouldn’t, Ruby’s still with it enough to recognize that, but more self-destructive than her good sense implies. She takes the hit and holds it in, the sweet flavour a brief distraction from that of Regina’s lip. Playing dumb seems like the best course of action, the safest for both herself and Regina, so she shakes her head and lets out the smoke. “Congresswoman’s daughter. I always had a feeling she was a lesbian. All those tabloid stories about her partying were always suspiciously devoid of sex scandals.”

It’s true enough, and Ruby wonders how she didn’t pick up on that herself. She hopes she isn’t the only one who didn’t realize it, but surely there would have been more tabloid speculation on _that_ over the years if she was. Jefferson’s eyes are on her again, still looking at her in a way that was far too personal but still felt speculative rather than concupiscent.

“I have to admit that you threw me, though. I figured you for a straight woman with better taste in men than soon-to-be drunk doctors and small-scale drug importers.” She wants to laugh, because she does actually find that funny, but her nails are digging into the fabric beneath them more as she anticipates his next comment. “I didn’t peg you as gay.”

“I’m not gay.” It’s automatic in a way that gives the impression that it’s something repeated often, expertly devoid of emotion to imply feelings anyway or the other on the subject, but it’s the first time she’s ever said the words and that fact makes her blink in surprise. She’s had to defend her sexuality in many ways over the years, but never her heterosexuality. “I’m stoned.”

Jefferson looks at her like he’s looking through her, and it makes Ruby squirm on the spot, a fidget she hides by bending to grab her drink. Some good old fashioned rye would calm her mind, and surely not add to the list of bad choices she’s made tonight. Sometimes it’s incredibly easy to lie to herself in her own head.

“I do find Whale slightly more charming when I’m high, so perhaps it wouldn’t take me too much to make the first move. Do you want to go home?”

The joke and the genuine concern are two different thoughts, but the way he says them makes it seem like some run-on sentence used to downplay the latter’s importance. Jefferson doesn’t want to be known as a thoughtful drug importer, it would seem. Probably not the reputation other kingpins look for. She nods, feeling small and young as he helps her off the seat, reminding her of her bag and dialing the number for a taxi as they walk. He has to negotiate a bit with the only taxi service in Storybrooke, the busy late hour and distance from town not an appealing combination, but Jefferson agrees with whatever demands are asked of him and leads Ruby to the front of the yard, helping her weave through cars to stand near the road. She sighs and looks back at the house, arms wrapped around herself as she regrets not bringing a jacket.

“Will you go get Whale? I can’t leave him here. He’ll get his ass kicked by one of your self-righteous ‘alternative’ guests if he hasn’t already. He loves egging people on.”

He laughs and pivots back towards the house, returning a few minutes later with a red-cheeked Whale who seems to have managed to avoid sustaining any visible injuries in Ruby’s absence. He makes a show of removing his jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders, throwing his arm across her waist as a ploy to lean on her to hold himself up. Jefferson stays with them until the cab arrives, gives the man his credit card, and helps her get Whale into the backseat, stopping Ruby before she joins him.

“You should come back sometime. I’m almost always here and I do owe you some hash.”

“You don’t owe me anything. I should – Jesus, what’s wrong with me? Why haven’t I thanked you? You’ve been… a really great host? And just human being, just, like, in general. Thank you. For this,” she holds up the bag, and then waves to the car, “and this, and… everything.”

“Anytime.” Charming smiles again, blue eyes all deep and comforting when so close. Goddamn, is this man handsome. “I really meant it when I said I don’t often find anyone to talk to amongst the rabble that usually shows up. Regina and yourself have been two exceptions I’m glad to have on the list.”

She steps closer to him, her voice low and only a little bit pleading. “What you saw… I really was, _am_ , just baked. I don’t want to be dragging some politician’s daughter through the mud because I get punch drunk gay on hash.”

“I have no interest in making an enemy of Regina Mills. Or you.”

It seems sincere, and Ruby’s too tired to question it, and he just bought her what is undoubtedly going to be an incredibly expensive cab ride home. The drive gives Ruby time to think, but thankfully her impaired brain doesn’t have the mental capacity for such complex thoughts. All she can find room to actually think about is the feel of Regina’s hungry lips on her, desperate for Ruby all the while knowing how she feels about seeing her. The hand on her back. The soft hair slipping through her fingers. Ruby presses her legs together and leans her head on cool glass, desperate to wake up tomorrow and still remember every detail so she can relive it as many times as she wants.

Getting Whale to his place proves to be annoying, and it makes her rethink her kindness towards him until his jacket slips off her shoulders on his doorstep and the cold air hits her. As she rings the buzzer for his floor she remembers that he might be the only person she can spend time with without counting down the minutes or being terrified of saying the wrong thing. And he found her weed. She presses the buzzer a dozen more times, ignoring the shouts from his roommate over the speaker to fuck off, and lowers Whale down against the wall. Ruby makes the driver wait until a young man appears at the door, cursing at Whale as he helps him up and into the building.

 **  
** The rest of the drive is short, but Ruby finds herself fearing what happens when it ends. That means she’ll be home and the night will be over and it will be another failed interaction with Regina. Two steps forward, one step back: her life’s mantra. She should be used to it, she knows this, but the night, like so many spent in Storybrooke lately, has left her with emotional whiplash. The driver slows to a stop as he nears the diner, telling her to thank her friend for the generous tip, and she steps out into the cold air, bag in hand. She turns to look over her shoulder, staring at the library door and thinking of how powerful she felt to have Regina trapped against the door. She can’t help but feel like she royally fucked up tonight, that kissing Regina, no matter how emphatically she responded, was a mistake for this situation. Desperation isn’t sexy, but right now it’s all she has.


	3. Part Three

_You’re an idiot. You’re a major idiot. You’re the Queen of Idiocy. Your reign has been long and tumultuous, and will continue until your celebrated demise._ Regina feels on the verge of tears, which is gross. She doesn’t cry. Crying is not a Regina thing to do these days. She gave that up when she became old enough to get a rental car without an extra charge. She pays into a life insurance policy now, she’s too old for tears. But they’re prickling her eyes all the same, morphing her mouth into a pout as she rolls over with straining muscles and stares at the woman in her bed, waiting for her to wake up and distract her from her self-loathing. The MDMA hangover is brutal, leaving her endorphins out of whack and all she wants is for her bedmate to rise and remind her that life isn’t terrible.

She’s facing Regina and seems to wake at the feel of a gaze on her. No fluttering eyelashes to greet the morning sun, just her eyes going from closed and still to alert and wide in an instant. “Oh, Christ, Regina, don’t do that,” Kathryn hisses upon seeing Regina’s attentive, puppy dog gaze right in front of her face.

“What?”

“You know… look at me. Like that. First thing in the morning. It’s an unsettling way to wake up.” Kathryn rolls out of the bed dressed in her shirt from the night before and her underwear, walking directly to Regina's dresser. “And turn on the heat in this place. It’s freezing.”

“It’s September.”

“I **hate** that you’re one of those people, you know. Weather cares not for your arbitrary system of months.” She grabs a pair of Regina’s pyjama bottoms, pulling them on as she walks back to the bed and resumes her position under the covers. “Do you feel better?”

“Than?”

“Than you did last night when you were hyperventilating in a drug trafficker’s bathroom.” Regina groans and presses her face into the pillow. “So, no then. Poor little moppet.”

Kathryn’s hand comes over to sift through her hair and the touch is so comforting that Regina can’t bring herself to smack the hand away due to her friend’s condescension. Sarcasm means Kathryn either cares about you an incredible amount or not at all. Regina’s one of the privileged few to fall into the former category. A pale thumb falls to stroke across her cheek, and it’s just so sweet that Regina feels her throat constrict.

“Whatever happened at Jefferson’s, he won’t say anything to anyone and won’t let his guests do the same, if that’s what you’re worried about. Mutually assured destruction. Keeps the world spinning. As a daughter of a politician, you should know this by heart.” Her voice is warm and still sleep-strained, it’s too early for them to be up after such a long night, but when Kathryn has woken she is up for the day. Naps and snooze buttons are beyond her.

“You weren't in the right state of mind to tell me what happened. Do you remember?” A nod. "Did you at least get laid this time?” She shakes her head. “You _really_ should have gone for it. That chick is unreal pretty."

Regina whines into her pillow again and Kathryn's index finger smooths over the crease on her brows when she presents her face once more. “Why did I go talk to her?”

“Well, if that’s all–”

“Then I all but goaded her into kissing me.”

“Now that _is_ a surprise. That she kissed you. That girl seems so weirdly repressed about the idea. Like, in a very strange way. Asked if it was just a religious thing and she shot that down, but when I barely brushed against the subject she seemed to implode.” Her finger taps against the spot between her eyes. “Sure is cute, though. Why didn’t you fuck her?”

“Because Jefferson walked in on us.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t have minded.”

“You become infinitely less comforting the more you wake up.”

“It’s why I’m a better lawyer after lunch.” Her hand falls to the pillow in front of Regina, whose eyes fall on the wedding band wrapped around her ring finger. “You're going to have to either go for it or tell her to fuck off. And mean it. All these mixed signals are probably making your poor child bride’s head explode.”

“Oh, you're one to talk,” Regina retorts. Jim is five years younger than Kathryn, having been even younger than Ruby’s current age when the two first met. Barely bar age. Though, that was a technicality considering his autumn birthday. Crap, that’s coming up. She has to get him something. Something good considering how much she’s been borrowing his wife lately.

“Hey, at least he had his degree.”

“If I was from here, I'd spend my summers in school hurrying my degree, too. This last one bored me to tears.”

“I believe you made your way through some summer courses as well. And so did I, you bitch. And besides, you're just saying that because your near-fall has been so eventful. Now stop distracting me with your innate political abilities. What are you gonna do about that gorgeous young girl whose sexuality you're clearly calling into question?”

“What would you do?”

“Oh no, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to have me make the decision so you can shift blame if something goes wrong.” Regina’s pout returns as Kathryn’s voice grows stern, but the blonde only gives in a little. “You can think about it while you make me crêpes.”

She's aware of how lucky to have Kathryn in her life. They had met at fourteen and fifteen, respectively, indifferent to one another due to the formality of being introduced through their parents. When Regina was asked by Kathryn’s father, some investor in an Indonesian gold mine, what she wanted to be when she grew up and replied with “a high-functioning alcoholic” Kathryn had fallen in love, or so she claims. Either way the two have been inseparable since, sharing a place in Mansfield halfway between Regina’s school in Providence and Kathryn’s in Cambridge, heading back to Storybrooke when both were ready to move on after completion of their degrees. Codependent? More than likely. But neither are good at making, nor do they particularly want, new friends.

“The logical part of my brain is screaming that it’s a ridiculous idea. Even if she weren’t a student, she’s clearly working through some things. And we’ve spent a grand total of four hours of time together. That’s almost literally nothing for a relationship, and I recognize that.” She scoops whipped cream into her crêpe, smearing it around with half-hearted interest. “And that my boredom isn’t a great reason to sabotage my life.”

“What’s your counter to that?” Kathryn asks around a mouthful of food, scooping up a stray trail of caramel sauce with her thumb and popping it into her mouth.

“What life do I have, exactly? My career? Full of colleagues who show _very_ thinly veiled disdain for my very existence, but especially in their staff lounges. And, one conversation or not, it's the only worthwhile one I've had with someone in almost a decade.”

“Thanks.”

Regina continues on without missing a beat, “And that’s exciting. There’s a connection. A romantic comedy connection. I’ve never had that before. Probably a pretty good chance that I never will again.”

“More than likely considering how often you leave your house.”

“But it’s the whole ‘very-obviously-confused’ thing. If it were a religious thing, I could work with that. I’m a Catholic.”

“You _were_ a Catholic.”

“I can find just as much scripture to back up enjoying the opportunities before you as there are against them. I didn’t have nuns screaming at me for fifteen years of my life to not pick up a few things.”

“Fifteen? You went to a Catholic preschool? For some reason I find it ridiculous that those exist, even if they make perfect sense. I mean, why _wouldn’t_ there be such a thing as Catholic preschools?”

“So what is it?”

“Maybe she just doesn’t want to be a lesbian.”

“What?”

“Oh, hi. I wasn’t aware you knew I was here.”

“I was ignoring you.”

“That was quite obvious, thank you.”

“I cooked you breakfast. Stop being obstinate and answer me. What do you mean?”

Kathryn rolls her eyes. “Typical narrow-minded view. You grew up Catholic, people within your Catholic circle had issues with your sexuality, so you obviously assume that anyone else having issues with it must only be that way because of their own religion. Some people just don’t want the stigma. And with you there’s plenty of extra baggage.”

“Thanks.”

“Eat your crêpe,” Kathryn demands, setting her eyes in an icy stare until Regina obeys. It's a shame she doesn't want kids, her parental techniques are amazing. “Why does she need to have a reason for you to understand it?”

“Because I like reasons. Being able to explain things comforts me. She's… inexplicable. I don't like that I like it.”

“All this poetic waxing is starting to bore me. And gross me out a little. Don't make me dislike her before the two of you become codependent.”

“Oh, this is so easy for you. You found a guy who fits whatever mould you put him into.”

“Jim goes with everything,” Kathryn agrees as she helps herself to more food. Her husband is an expert blender, doing so without thought and only breaking when he's been told to do so. From a school gymnasium to the charity banquets Kathryn’s father has just started inviting them back to, Jim just fits wherever you put him. “Guess he was worth the money.”

Regina shares Kathryn’s small smile with her, though she feels shame rise up in her stomach at the topic, as it always does. Despite being charming, handsome, young, and a well-liked educator at the respected private school in Storybrooke, Kathryn was not meant to marry a gym teacher in the sticks, and her father had made that clear to his daughter upon her news of an engagement ring on her finger. Until she had finished her degree, her trust fund was in his hands. Regina had advised her to just lie until she finished by the end of that year, but Kathryn had refused and told her father she wouldn't be bribed into changing her mind about Jim. Though this was after a few pragmatic measures, such as putting a down payment on a house and paying the rest of her tuition and school fees. Kathryn wasn't stupid after all.

“I certainly couldn't afford it.”

Kathryn’s posture changes in her chair from leaning over her plate to leaning over to meet Regina’s eyes, her eyebrows raised in a comforting way and her tone firm but sweet. Well, as sweet as Kathryn can make her voice. “It was an entirely different situation and you know it. You were seventeen and without anything to fall back on.”

“I could have mooched off you. You offered.”

“I probably would have expected something in return. Like, having you use me to practise going down on girls.”

“Marian took the cut from her family.”

“Yes, well, Granola Gash was always looking for a reason to rebel. As much as it might pain your ego to admit, she was waiting for a reason to shove that money in her parents’ faces. I hate preppy hippies.”

“I know you do.”

“And, besides, if you had run off with her and taken the hit to your bank account, you’d probably be in some awful part of the world building houses in hundred and twenty degree heat in the middle of the savannah–”

“You mean, doing good and being a generous, selfless person while bettering other people’s lives?”

 

“Leaving me here alone in the Atlantic northeast to rot away and stew in my own bitterness.”

“With your handsome, young husband.”

“Jim takes no pleasure in bitching about things, I’d be lost without my sounding board.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I plan to top it by finally saying ‘I love you’ when you’re on your deathbed.”

“Because you’re so sure you’ll live longer than me.”

“Single people die sooner. It’s just a fact.” Regina grimaces which earns her a laugh from her blonde friend as she rises from her spot to do away with her dishes.

Eventually Regina relents and allows Kathryn to return home, leaving the young teacher with general body aches and a quiet house. The morning is spent doing the housework that she’s neglected throughout the week, paying bills, and grocery shopping. Adult things. Regina needs to feel good about something, even if that something is simply doing the basic things one needs to in order to live. Low bars to jump are needed once in awhile. She begins to truly realize the downsides to living in a small town now that she knows more than two people who reside there, nearly running over a familiar face with her cart.

“Miss Mills,” Jefferson greets warmly after ducking out of her way, a shopping basket in his hands. His presence in such a mundane environment is bizarre and disorienting, and her mind flashes back to the night before. Stepping out into Jefferson’s backyard as he and Kathryn took to discussing something, walking towards one of the many fire pits scattered across the property, eyes glued to a circular one in the distance. She remembers realizing that it was designed like a hollowed out globe and that Ruby was standing behind it at the same moment. God, had it only been twelve hours? “How are you today?”

At least he didn’t ask how she was feeling. That was unprecedentedly considerate of a person. “Fine. Tired. Mostly just fighting the urge to curl up and die.”

He laughs in his charming, practised way, making Regina’s grip on the handle of her cart tighten. She had grown up surrounded by that laugh. “Well, you’re far more productive than most of my guests tend to be. They’re usually hounding me for something to make them feel better.”

She doesn’t know what to say as a follow up. Are all drug traffickers so casual about their work? Jefferson is probably the second last person she had wanted to run into today, but she supposes it’s a good thing to have the opportunity to talk to him, as there was no chance in hell that she would have sought him out on her own. They’re relatively isolated in the small store, but Regina still feels the need to speak quickly and quietly.

“Despite the fact that I could have been an amazing politician myself, and undoubtedly could talk you under the table in veiled threats and coded speak, but as we’re both adults and will likely be seeing more of each other in the future, I’d like to just get this over with and out of the way. I am not out in any capacity other than to a select circle of people in my life, and a few women running around out there who have no idea who I am. I would prefer to keep it that way.”

“Of course. And I wouldn’t dream of holding something like that as leverage over you. There’d be nothing to gain from it.”

“Except a connection to my mother.”

“I support, and frequently donate to, the Democratic candidate who opposes your mother’s seat.” Regina’s eyes narrow in for a moment before her posture deflates the tiniest bit. “So getting on your bad side, what with that connection to your mother and all, would likely prove to be quite a stupid decision to make. And I’d hate to start rumours about Ruby.”

Regina keeps her face blank and simply asks, “The girl?”

“Ruby Lucas. Her grandmother owns and runs Granny’s Diner. I assume you’ve been there.” Regina nods plainly and glances over her shoulder as the woman who runs the accountant office in town, turns the corner and passes them. Jefferson tilts his head and the two take to strolling through the aisles. “She was worried about your honour, actually. Made it quite clear that she didn’t want a politician’s kid to get caught up in a scandal because she gets, quote, ‘punch drunk gay on hash’. So you’re safe on all sides.”

“That’s sweet of her.” Her body hums at the very idea of Ruby considering her feelings, which is childish so Regina immediately shuts the sensation down by squaring her shoulders and standing straighter as they walk.

“It is, isn’t it? She was quite adamant about it. Inspiring to see the high calibre of people this town manages to create.” He slows their pace as they near the registers, and only then does she take note of what’s in his basket: brown sugar, corn syrup, molasses, melting chocolates. Diabetes waiting to happen, essentially. Jefferson takes note. “I’m making seafoam – sponge toffee. Whatever it was called in your corner of the world.”

“Any particular reason?” For some reason, Regina has never fathomed the idea that sponge toffee can just be _made_ at home like anything else.

“I just enjoy it. I’ll send you some when I’m finished. My olive branch.” The smarmy grin returns and Regina almost turns it down, but she has a sweet tooth she can’t deny. Besides, he beats her to the punch. “I could use more social acquaintances. I’d like to spend more time with Kathryn, and you two seem to be a package deal.”

“I would like that.” Regina can’t tell if it’s a lie or not, so she imagines Jefferson is in the same predicament. But he gives his false smile, which she returns to a lesser degree, grateful to break away from him. She’s been in this town unmolested for years and now suddenly she can’t turn a corner without running into someone she doesn’t want to see.

Sober, free from influence and without the opportunity to call Kathryn and as her for her own (requisite date night, and Regina’s stolen more than her fair share of Jim’s time with her), and without anything else to distract her from her time, the young teacher takes the night to sit down, quiet her mind, and try to sort everything out. Like a grown up. And a professor getting caught in love affair with a co-ed is as grown up a scenario as they come. So Regina sits down with a sensibly sized glass of wine, starts the fire, and leaves the remote in the kitchen so she can’t be tempted to distract herself with Netflix.

Regardless of how long it’s been since she’s had sex, she genuinely likes Ruby. In the butterflies-in-the-stomach kind of way. And as a staunch cynic, Regina finds it amazing enough that she would dare to feel the sensation, let alone put such words it to words. But there it is. She feels it. She gets goosebumps when she thinks about Ruby’s weight pressing her back against the library door. And Regina’s desperate to know more about this girl she keeps running into, to see how this oxymoron personification of anxiety and confidence came to be. Maybe Regina could live out her most saccharine romantic of fantasies: spending a night talking with someone who isn’t her best friend without looking for excuses to cut the night short.

And more than the romance novel bullshit, Ruby is just fucking **hot**. It’s an animal attraction kind of thing, and Regina _has_ felt that before so she can’t deny it now. Clearly Ruby has some prowess in bed and with people who she’s more comfortable with (that is, people who have penises). She enjoys the rough edges, Regina could tell the moment she felt Ruby’s fingers tightening around her throat in order to keep her in place. Just thinking about it made Regina’s stomach tighten and her cheeks warm. And whether or not that could be weighed against

Despite the fact that she knows it should be the biggest hurdle should be her career-defining decision, it’s not. Ruby actually does seem like the type to live and let live rather than tear Regina’s reputation down with her, should things go south. But still, Regina _does_ know the reason for that. Kathryn confirmed it. And that seems like a step back, starting something up with a girl who isn’t out. Not that Regina wants to be, at least publicly. And that comes along with her baggage, something that Ruby clearly wouldn’t be ready for even if Regina was.

“What Do You Do With A Problem Like Ruby?” becomes her focus for the rest of her weekend, but she doesn’t get any closer to solving it. She watches the movie she’s writing her thesis paper on about four times, which Regina considers to be something akin to work, and then cleans, which will not help her career at all but will also make her feel like she’s accomplished something. When Monday rolls around she finds it a relief to be walking into class, ready to rattle on about what makes a bildungsroman, but halfway through that a hiccup occurs that sets her far more on edge than Ruby’s presence could.

The Dean had slipped into her class seemingly out of nowhere, standing at the back near the wall, so unmoving that Regina’s sure that he’s just a figment of her imagination. She blinks and tries to refocus on the answer being given to her question, having to look at her notes to remember what point was trying to be made or debated. Regina manages to recover, but she can feel her tone shift and her posture change throughout the lesson. She announces time to be up three minutes early, as much a gap as she’ll allow herself, and waits as always for the questions to come rolling in about the assignments she had handed back and the ones she passed out. But her eyes always dart back to the man at the back of the class who’s leaning on his cane while he talks to a few students.

It takes a good ten minutes for everyone to file out, leaving the two alone and forcing Regina to finally gather her pages and meet her maker. “Dean Gold. How are you?”

“Fine, Miss Mills, how are you on this lovely September day?”

_Miss Mills._ Never professor. “Fantastic. Loving this weather.”

“And you’re settling in well?” They’re walking through the hallways now, and Regina finds herself grateful for the crowd of people around them. There’s something about Gold that always makes her want a witness nearby.

“I am. Any worries I have about lecturing go out the window when I plant my feet and assert dominance.”

“You sound as if you’re facing off against a herd of wild animals.”

“Yes, well.”

Gold laughs and they have their first moment of actual levity in their entire… god, five year acquaintanceship. She had to meet with him in person with her mother in order to guarantee her a transfer spot when she came bearing a Masters in Modern Culture and Media degree from Brown, with high recommendations from her various film teachers who had adored her, especially her focus on that aspect of her degree with various festival entries and extracurricular activities. Not that it compared to having Cora Mills in the room. Gold had hated her from the first moment, and it was mostly mutual, they were both aware of it.

There was an unspoken agreement between that it wouldn’t get in the way so long as donations kept coming and Regina didn’t screw up. And Gold sure likes to prod that bear. He watches her like a hawk, always waiting for a slip up. Regina sees a flash of red in the distance, and whether or not it’s Ruby she refuses to allow herself to check. That’s all she needs right now.

“Your students seem quite taken with you. Half admitted to taking the class simply for your name alone.”

“You’re getting your money’s worth, then.”

“We both are, it would seem.” He’s leading them in the direction of her office which fills her with unease when she thinks about how long their walk will take them. But he comes to a stop at a juncture in the hallways, his steely eyes trying to unnerve her. “You must be nearly completed with your thesis paper.”

_Not even close._ “Almost there.”

“I’m excited to read it. You're choosing to incorporate a film for your thesis, aren't you? The baseball one.”

“ _A League of Their Own_.”

“Ah, yes. I always had a soft spot for Miss Davis. It should make for an interesting read, the role of women during the war, the myths surrounding sports legends. Will you settle the debate once and for all whether or not she dropped the ball on purpose?”

“I’d hate to give away my closing paragraph.”

His smile is just as fake as Jefferson’s, but there’s a self-awareness behind it that somehow renders the grin more genuine in its derision against her. “Have a good day, Miss Mills. I’m sure I’ll see you again, soon.”

Gold makes good on his idle threat two days later, leaving her English class alone but arriving just on time for her Film lecture. He didn’t want to miss the movie, it would seem. Just in time for French New Wave. Lucky him. She espouses the brilliance of _The 400 Blows_ and throws it in, grateful that she has an hour and forty minutes to try and forget the man is there. But it doesn’t work. She can’t brush off his presence today and it leaves her shifting in her seat until the lights turn back on. Regina likes this movie, she hates that Gold’s very presence can ruin it for her. But the kids seem to pick up on the significance of the film, and that at least makes the last hour of the class go by relatively easily. Until he chimes in.

“Tell me, Miss Mills, which do you prefer of Truffaut’s work? This piece or _Stolen Kisses_?”

She knows she’ll fail whatever test Gold is setting her up for, and the students seem to be collectively holding their breaths as if they, too, anticipate that there’s something loaded about what should be an easy question.

“While _Stolen Kisses_ is undoubtedly one of his best works, the touching, simplistic tone and journey shown through a young Antoine is universal.” While she’s undoubtedly sealed her fate in Gold’s eyes by using the word “simplistic”, Regina still has a class to teach. “Every scene in this film is purposeful, every detail in every shot adds to the final image of the young boy on the beach. It’s masterful in its subtlety.”

Gold meets her this time, climbing down the stairs while people gather around her, cutting through them to remind her of a meeting several members of the staff have scheduled the next hour, though he still takes time to stop and survey a number of students as they leave. And the effect is felt. He really is going to keep her on his radar. And that is just all she fucking needs at the moment. Regina tries to be patient with her students as they come speak to her, but she can feel herself getting worked up the longer she stays in the classroom. So she gathers up her books and allows them to trail after her until every last question is asked.

Her office is out of the way on the Film Department’s floor atop of an old, colonial building whose history she has probably been told fifty times, though Regina can never recall it. She's as indifferent to the colonial structure as it is to her, granting her little light and a stairway door that locks automatically from the inside, forcing her to take the long trek through the hallways to get inside. She has yet to find the inspiration to make her corner of the building her own, but Regina can't deny she enjoys having her own office. Name on the door and all. It's out of the way location is a pain in the ass until she closes the door behind her, taking in the silence and all of its glory.

Regina shares the floor with two senior members of the Film Department’s staff whom she meets once every few weeks for some easy drinks. They seem to like her enough, love her extensive Hitchcock knowledge, and appreciate how much she can drink, so she’s not without a few allies in a swarm of untrusting, self-righteous figures. When it became clear that a relationship with Regina Mills meant nothing to Cora Mills, they at least left her to suffer their cold indifference from a distance. Regina can live with that. She needs that now. There’s only so much she can deal with without having to feign civility to coworkers on a regular basis.

She can feel her blood running hot as the agitation from the week, but when she dumps her bag and takes her seat, readying herself for a cleansing deep breath, she catches sight of her phone. ‘Cora – Voicemail’ flashes across the screen before it goes dark again, apparently having woken from its slumber due to the tumble it took to her desk.

“Oh, fuck off,” she hisses at the metal and glass bar, hating it for the abilities she bought it for. Like taking calls. Recording messages. Not somehow knowing to drop its signal at the right moment so as to not allow either of those two things to get through when her mother is on the other end. She can’t deal with her right now, just absolutely cannot. Thanksgiving is still two months away, and if it were about the holidays it would undoubtedly be her father calling her and attempting to broker the deal. Whatever is waiting on her phone makes her desperate for her best friend to screen the message from Cora, a set-up she’s used in the past. A set-up that isn’t particularly normal, Regina realizes for the first time now that she puts some thought into it.

The kneejerk reaction to call Kathryn and have her take the place of some vague maternal figure in her life is clearly something she needs to deal with. Especially when Kathryn would be livid at the idea of her name and the word ‘maternal’ being used in the same sentence. But hearing her mother’s voice without her father, Kathryn, _anyone_ as a conduit, pushes her over the edge even if she’s fifty yards from it. She’s already looking down the chasm, her brain might just implode at the first word from her mother’s undoubtedly icy mouth. Regina hasn’t seen her in a year, her mother’s busy schedule giving both of them an excuse to prolong their reunion. Whenever she sees her mother’s name in regards to some cross-country or international trip, she waits for the call from her father and rearranges her schedule the best she can to make room for him. But there’s a mutual understanding in the family that the less time Cora and Regina spend in a room together, the better.

That’s why this phone call feels her with such unease. There’s no excuse for it. A baseless one will undoubtedly be given, it would be beyond Cora to not blanket the message as some sort of olive branch. Her making the first step to repair their broken relationship. Some bullshit that’s making Regina’s stomach turn before she even hears it. The venom lying under her mother’s words whenever she brings up Regina’s education. Her breathing exercises are doing nothing for her at the moment as her mind tosses around her mother’s general grey cloud presence in her life and combines it with Gold’s veiled threats, not to mention the fact that she has to see him again soon. She needs to call Kathryn but doesn’t want to see the name when she picks up her phone again, debates using her office one, and almost manages to open FaceTime on her computer before a knock on the door rattles her to the core.

“Come in.” She could smack herself for answering so quickly, but the reaction is automatic. Regina takes a breath and tries to clear her brain, but when the figure steps through, she can feel the air leave her lungs. Standing there with a denim vest overtop of a light denim shirt, sleeves rolled up to her elbows and a collection of leather bracelets on her wrist. The hate-spewing part of Regina’s brain that’s been building up upon seeing her mother’s message, has her wondering how the fuck this girl could not realize that she’s gay. “No.” Regina’s surprised to hear the word echo through the room when Ruby closes the door behind her, she assumed it was going to stay in her head. “I cannot do this right now, Ruby.”

“I can’t keep putting it off.” Her demeanour is more relaxed than their previous encounters, and Regina can spot why immediately.

“You’re stoned.” Her green eyes are bloodshot, more so than the last time they ran into each other. Regina’s drug-free but running on rage, feeling more impaired than ever. She can never think straight when she’s angry, it’s why she needs Kathryn, with her insidious logic, in her life.

“I needed to be.” That much might be true. It’s indeed propelling Ruby to stand before the desk, looking Regina straight in the eyes. “Regina I think… I think we need to really… just–”

“Not today, Ruby,” she hisses and that seems to catch her off guard. Good. Let her be scared. Regina can’t care about her feelings today, she can barely put a label on her own. She stands from the desk and crosses the room in a few quick strides, hand on the doorknob in an instant. “I just can’t deal with this right now.”

“You’re all I think about, Regina. It’s fucking… all-consuming.”

Regina grits her teeth but it’s not until Ruby reaches out to touch her shoulder that she reacts, spinning around to grab the girl’s jaw and arm and push her back against the wall near the door. Her nails dig into the soft flesh underneath them, her nostrils flaring as she whispers viciously Ruby.

“What the fuck do you want from me?”

Ruby’s eyes are wide and red-rimmed, and she looks as lost in front of Regina as she ever has. But it’s Ruby who makes the first move this round, finding enough focus and confidence within herself to rip away from Regina’s grasp and pull her face in for a bruising kiss. The sudden show of backbone should thrill her, but today it only aggravates Regina. That Ruby would pull this here and now. It fills her with indignation, twisting out from her stomach and shooting through her arms, leaving her to tear Ruby’s wrists away and slam them up by her head.

But she can’t break the kiss. Try as she might, she’s still pushing back. Ruby might have instigated the kiss, but Regina’s in command of it, her tongue and teeth sliding over Ruby’s bottom lip like it’s candy. And Ruby’s just _giving in_. She’s not struggling at all against Regina’s control or her hold on her wrists. The waitress is making the same pathetic whining sounds against her mouth as she’s done in previous encounters and it’s all just fuel for Regina’s fire and it’s frightening how much of an accelerant they prove to be as her lips drag down. Her skin is warm and sweet and as she reaches Ruby’s neck, she can’t help but give into the desire to mark and ruin it now that she can. Why couldn’t she have just stayed away?

She lets go of Ruby’s wrist and finds herself both irate and pleased that the younger woman’s hand remains up against the wall, curling around the side of the doorframe. Regina’s desperate for Ruby to give her a reason to stop, even the slightest sign of resistance, but her hips rock forward as Regina’s stray hand wrestles its way beyond Ruby’s three layers of shirts and under the elastic waistband of her leggings. She’s panting in Regina’s ear, whimpering every time teeth bear down on her neck, letting out a disbelieving moan when Regina’s fingers finally fight their way beyond the last barrier of clothing and slips beneath her underwear, meeting intense heat when they do. There’s absolutely no resistance to be had.

The sound Ruby makes as Regina’s fingers press into her is as divine as it is dangerous, echoing off the walls of her office until her left hand releases Ruby’s right wrist and clamps down overtop of her mouth. She can feel the groan bounce off the palm of her hand, hum through Ruby’s throat under her teeth. Ruby’s newly freed hand doesn’t remain idle this time, flying to the top of Regina’s head and tangling in her hair, but again she remains unprotesting under the older woman’s hold. Her thigh is circling around Regina’s while her hips try desperately to keep up with the momentum that’s been set, and when Regina finally manages to pull herself away from the girl’s neck, she finds her expression twisted into one of exquisite agony with her eyes squeezed tight.

Her anger has died away but her movements don’t falter because her drive becomes incited by the desire to watch this play out. Ruby’s sounds have died out into desperate gasps, so Regina feels secure enough to lower her hand down to a firm grip on her jaw because she has to kiss her again. This is all coming to a dizzying end, and Regina knows that as soon as Ruby snaps the spell will be broken. Her nails scrape against her jaw, lips moving down to her chin as she grinds her palm against the girl, feeling Ruby’s whole body convulse with the action and splitting her view between watching chestnut eyebrows draw together and her hand, with its long, graceful fingers, spasm against the doorframe.

Regina pulls away immediately but regrets it the moment she does, hating her band aid-ripping method as it denies her the few moments of ignorance she could have basked in. But away from Ruby’s heady scent with her fingers cooling at her side, Regina can’t deny what she allowed herself to do as her wide eyes as she surveys the brunette. The hand Ruby had entangled in Regina’s hair is flat against her chest overtop of her long white shirt, underneath the two layers of denim, undoubtedly getting hammered by a pounding heart if her desperate breathing is anything to go by. Her own eyes are wet and disbelievingly focused on a spot across the room, and she looks so breathtakingly beautiful that Regina knows this memory will be logged in her brain forever.

_What the fuck did you just do?_ Oh, Christ, her inner voice sounds like Kathryn and the young teacher feels absolute panic wash over her. Ruby’s beginning to collect herself, pushing herself off the wall with shaky legs. She looks like Bambi learning how to walk. Oh, god, she’s so fucking young. _Regina_ , the voice hammers in her head, _what the fuck did you. just. do?_ She has to get out of here, out of this office that reeks of sex, and she’s thankful to have the sense to grab both her phone and her bag with her clean hand, the heartbeat in her ears sounding like a rush of white noise.

“I have a meeting.” It’s all she says before yanking the door open and rushing into the hall, adjusting the strap on her shoulder and throwing her phone in the bag so she can smooth out her hair. Regina has more than enough time to get to the meeting, so she plans out the longest route she can think to take as she try to collect her thoughts. Her brain goes into crisis mode, which leaves her in a more pragmatic state than the name suggests. She doesn’t have time to hash this out with Kathryn right now, so she just has to get it together enough to get through this and then she can start to process everything. Her heartbeat slows and her breathing returns to normal as she steps outside, blinking into the sun as her tongue runs over her lower lip, desperate to savour the flavour of Ruby’s kisses while she can but unwilling to admit it to herself as she does.

* * *

 

_What the actual fuck?_

__

Ruby can feel the soles of her feet smacking against the ground, is aware that her whole body trembles each time she lifts each leg to propel her forward, but her mind doesn't connect to the fact that she's left Regina’s office and flown down three flights of stairs until she's in the parking lot, fumbling with her keys to unlock her car. The sudden clarity that she is in charge of her motor functions nearly has her knees buckling but the brunette manages to yank open her door and collapse into the driver’s seat in time. Ruby needs to calm down and take a breath, she knows this somewhere in the back of her brain, but all the same she’s digging around her center console until she finds a pack of Marlboros. The disposable lighter with the Calgary Flames logo on its red side gives her some trouble, but eventually the spark catches and her cigarette is lit.

It reminds Ruby of her first one, immediately making her lightheaded and tossing her stomach as she inhales. But it puts her at ease, allows her to sink back into her leather seat and collect her thoughts as she gags on the taste. She hasn't smoked since before the accident but she needs it now, even if the taste is making her queasy. The reminder. Ruby used to smoke after sex, but whatever that was with Regina in her office was so unlike anything she can remember feeling. If sleeping with guys is the equivalent to scratching an itch, sleeping with Regina is ripping off a layer of skin to reveal a new one while leaving the idea of an itch existing in the first place to be laughable. She just had an orgasm. Has she never had an orgasm before?

She refuses to believe it. Just outright, the words cross the front of her mind as if she’s reading them. Ruby isn’t always proud of her sexual history, but she likes sex. She likes to be with men, for the most part. Though, as she thinks about it more and more, the fact that she generally has to be wasted to get near a guy in any kind of sexual situation might be a tip off, but Ruby buries it for the time being. The fact that it was Regina pressing her against a wall is definitely a huge contributing factor and she has to focus on that. But she can’t focus on anything at the moment with her head spinning. She catches sight of herself in the rearview mirror, at the dark bruises forming on her neck, obstructed by the hazy air filling the vehicle. There’s a collection of accessories and crap in her passenger side seat, and her buzzing fingers manage to dig through and catch hold of something soft. She drags the scarf up through the purses and jackets but only manages to get it around her shoulders when the smoke in her mouth hits the back of her throat the wrong way and has Ruby leaning out her open driver side door, gagging and spitting at the pavement between her feet.

“Maybe you should quit.” Ruby looks up to find blonde hair hovering over her, and in her state of mind she needs to blink hard a few times before she can discern it to belong to Emma, whose face remains in shadows thanks to the sun. Her voice should have been a giveaway, but Ruby can barely focus on her own breathing for the moment. She holds the cigarette out, which the blonde takes, inhaling once before tossing it on the ground with a grimace. “Stale.”

“They’re old. It’s been awhile.” Sitting up in the seat, Ruby tries to stop her head from spinning but to no avail. Focusing on Emma turns out to be not only a social nicety but also a necessity. “What are you doing here?”

“Foreign language class.”

“Spanish?”

“French. I put it off until my last year.”

“ _Bon chance_ ,” Ruby mutters as she closes her eyes.

“ _Merci_ ,” Emma replies drolly. “You don’t look like you’re in any condition to drive.”

“Waiting for the bus?” She opens her eyes in time to catch the blonde nod. “Can you drive stick?” They’re good companions. They don’t believe in superfluous small talk. Or perhaps Emma can just sense that Ruby’s not particularly in a talking mood. Still, she feels the need to fill the gap a little as the school becomes smaller in the rearview, considering the fact that they’ve only spoken about a dozen words each to one another in their whole acquaintanceship. “How’s Mary Margaret?”

“Honestly, she’s mostly been talking about you lately. She wasn’t much for chatting about high school until you popped into town. You’re fascinating, apparently.”

“Did she tell you why we stopped talking?”

“Elsa’s tried every trick in her first year psychology arsenal, but no luck.” Ruby laughs and leans back against the seat, playing with the strap on the backpack that rests neatly between her feet. She can feel Emma’s dark blue eyes glance over to her. “I don’t really care. Obviously Mary Margaret doesn’t.”

“I fucked her boyfriend at our grad party.”

It’s Emma’s turn to laugh, earning her Ruby’s gaze. “I guess that explains why she’s not too hung up about it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she’s the president of the Gay-Straight Alliance. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions on what particular side she belongs to.” Ruby blinks in surprise, though it shouldn’t be that surprising. In school, Mary Margaret had been friendly with everyone, flirted, even had more than one boyfriend – some hot ones. When she and Ruby would speak at night, she would talk about she never had any interest in sleeping with them because it didn’t appeal to her. Ruby had understood, but with more than a few notches on her bedpost already, played dumb. It had been easy to steal David away from her because she didn’t care.

“Yeah, I guess that explains that.”

“Is that why you don’t return her phone calls?”

“She tells you about that, huh?”

“No, but Elsa’s first year psychology tricks work at that level.”

They part at the diner with Ruby telling Emma to pass on a message to Mary Margaret promising a social engagement soon. She feels considerably calmer after the drive, a combination of the motion and Emma’s low-maintenance company. Ruby understands now why Regina keeps a droll blonde in her corner, they’re handy for stressful situations. Heading straight for the inn, she makes a quick stop in the small, family-sized kitchen inside and grabs a tray of ice before skipping up the stairs until she makes it to the top, immediately turning on her music when she gets into her room. Dropping her bag on the floor next to her bed, she grabs an empty glass on her bedside and heads into her ensuite to speedily rinse the cup.

Ruby cracks some ice out of their individual spots and plops them in the cup when she returns to her bed, dropping the tray on the duvet and reaching under her mattress for the nearest bottle. Canadian Club. How… _parfait_? Her French is shit. And she is beyond the point of caring. It takes her an entire drink before her body and mind seem to fully relax, the rim of the glass pressed to her lip as she slowly nurses the golden liquid inside. Regardless of Regina’s gender – which is becoming harder to ignore – Ruby has fucked a teacher. Or been fucked by a teacher. Semantics aren’t needed right now, verbal communication is. She feels like she’s going out of her mind and it’s obvious that she needs to get this off her chest. But Ruby can’t throw Regina under the bus, as much as she would like to downplay her social media concerns, the internet is rabid. And furthermore, there’s the huge matter of her social circle. Or, more accurately, the lack thereof.

She dumps out her backpack and shoves her phone charger in there, along with the stash that Jefferson had made good on promptly, and discreetly, delivering, throwing it inside. Ruby changes her underwear and swaps out her leggings for shorts, smoothing out her hair as she closes the door behind her. Her last stop is to return the ice tray to the kitchen, making the mistake of stopping to grab a peach from the fridge. The extra moment gives Granny enough time to appear, steely blue eyes on Ruby. She tugs at the scarf around her neck.

“How was school?”

“Good.”

“You were late today.”

“I stayed on campus to study.”

“Are you staying for dinner?”

She shifts the strap on her shoulder and rolls the fruit in her hands. “I was going to go see a friend.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’re getting out more.”

Had she a witty internal monologue, it would probably make some joke about how her grandmother has no idea. But Ruby’s mid self-destruction spiral at the moment and under the influence of too many things. And not enough. So she ducks out of her grandmother’s place and bolts down the street, for some reason feeling more at peace with her racing heartbeat than the idea of thinking for the next ten minutes. Just as she makes it to the building, someone is leaving, giving her the chance to slip in and bound up the stairwell to the floor she wants without warning. As soon as she catches her breath, her fist is hammering against the wooden door, earning her angry shouts from inside that die the moment the door is opened.

“Is Whale here?” she asks the two guys she only recognizes from a distance, Whale’s roommates proving to be about as subtle as he is in regards to their intentions. The tall one with warm almond skintone points behind his shoulder to one of the doors, and Ruby pushes past him, ripping it open and finding undoubtedly scaring the crap out of the blonde inside. “Oh good, you’re home.”

“What the hell?” Whale asks slowly as he stands up to close the door behind her, dampening the sound of the shouts of encouragement from his roommates. “Were you rude to Merlin?”

“What? No. Why do you call him Merlin?”

“He sings that “Higitus Figitus” song a lot.” Whale looks like he’s settling in for the night, dressed in sweatpants from his alma mater and a plain white shirt, his socks thick and bright orange and so hideously wonderful that Ruby wants them for herself. She wonders if he’s getting ready for an early shift or just finishing one, but rather than risk asking Ruby just reaches into her bag and holds up the cookie tin containing the bag of weed. Thankfully the man just raises his eyebrows appraisingly and nods, pulling out a small glass bong from under his desk. “Want me to put water in it?”

“No time.” He gives her a confused look but loads up the small bowl all the same, pulling his rolling chair over so he can sit in front of her. Ruby studies his face for a moment, debating with herself before awkwardly spitting out, “We are… friends.”

Neither of them can tell if it’s a question or a statement, so she can’t blame Whale for his slow response. “Okay?”

“We are, right?” Christ, she needs validation from Whale. This day is really turning out to be a mixed bag. “I just mean… can I trust you to keep a secret?”

“Who would I even tell?” he asks before flicking the lighter and hovering it over the bowl, taking a slow hit.

“I don’t know. Merlin?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t tell that dude shit,” Whale says in a strained voice before blowing out the smoke. “He can’t keep a secret to save his life.”

“Whale. Please focus. I legitimately need… help. And doctors take oaths to help people.”

“Okay, okay. We are friends and I won’t share your secrets with any members of The Round Table.” She kicks him in the shin and grabs the bong from him, earning her a laugh. “What is the problem, Ruby? You’re looking a little… scary.”

“I’ve been… having this… thing. With a teacher.” Whale’s eyes go wide and Ruby takes her hit, feeling a sense of relief as she breathes out the smoke. She’s said it. It’s out there. Someone else has heard her truth. “For a few weeks. I didn’t know… when we first met, I thought… graduate degree, you know? But, no. Professor.”

“Well, fuck. Can’t blame the guy, though.”

It seems safer to stick to masculine pronouns for now. For Regina’s sake, of course. “Well, he tried more than once to end it. Stamp it down before it started. But we just kept running into each other, and then today I went to talk at h-his office. And it finally went somewhere.” She loosens the scarf around her neck because it feels like a noose and she can now, allowing the darkened splotches to see the light of day again. Her friend lets out a low whistle as he dumps the ashes from the bowl. “And I have no idea what to do, Whale. I don’t want to cost anyone their job, I don’t want to be the centre of some scandal, but… it was so good. You have no idea. I think my brains might have literally been fucked out.”

“Congratulations.”

“For some reason, I’m really grateful you said that.”

He laughs and refills the bowl passing it over when he does and excusing himself for a moment. The blonde returns a minute later with a jug of chocolate milk and two plastic cups, a bag of chips under his arm and Ruby finds herself relieved that she ended up here. She slides back on the mattress until she’s leaning against the wall, leaving space for him to slide between her and the headboard. He rests the cups on there and fills them up before sealing the milk up tightly, and then grabs the pillows at the top to throw behind them. There’s a comfort in his nearness that she hasn’t felt with a person, save Regina, for what seems like a long time.

“What should I do, Whale?” she asks after taking another another hit, passing it over, and accepting the chocolate milk. She loves chocolate milk. She should drink it more.

“Well, I’m hardly a relationship expert. But, in my professional opinion, I think you should go for it. Sex like that should not be passed up and life...  life’s too short.”

He makes it sound so simple. So unbelievably simple that she can’t help but agree with him. Ruby gives herself all of Thursday to change her mind, but when she wakes up Friday morning and gets ready for work, her mind doesn’t change. As she peels out of her work clothes and glances over some of her reading that was assigned the day before, she’s still steadfast. Ruby will have some sort of resolution on this day, good or bad, or she will die trying. Most likely of embarrassment, but she refuses to allow herself to question it.

There’s certainly nothing suspicious about waiting at the end of a hallway and ducking into a stairwell every time she hears footsteps coming down the hall, but Ruby has no choice. She needs to see Regina and even if she didn’t she needs that goddamn book. And Kathryn’s constant warnings about Regina’s privacy and security make her nervous to leave any kind of trail to the woman, so actually being there in person seems to be the safest bet. Regina isn’t around, though, and a note on her door explains she will be by at five to grab any assignments needed to be graded this weekend. The hallway is generally quiet, misleadingly so. Every lone person walking all the way at the other end, down the other corridors, sounds like it’s happening feet away. Once the sound of footsteps smacking against the shining floors does indeed get close enough that she finds herself slipping into the door behind her to the staircase, careful to hold it open so as to ensure it doesn’t lock on her. The next time it happens, it’s the distinct noise of Regina’s voice bidding someone goodbye right outside of her hiding spot.

Ruby opens the security door slowly, using it to announce her presence rather than speak herself. It grabs the woman by surprise, but her expression changes when she sees who it is, looking like a deer in headlights. She’s dressed like Ruby’s never seen her, wearing only small jean shorts and a red tank top, hiking boots on her feet in place of the heels Ruby is accustomed to seeing. The idea of Regina trekking around in the woods seems like an odd fit, but Ruby now feels desperate to see the woman with such a backdrop. Her prepared speech melts away at the other woman’s look of shock and horror.

“I have a question about the assignment.” She doesn’t know why she would choose to make a joke, but Regina looks terrified of her and Ruby doesn’t know how else to play the situation. She’s not used to being the one in power and she doesn’t particularly like it. It has the intended effect though, Regina seems to be poised to roll her eyes before she realizes she’s let down her defensive position.

“Kathryn is waiting for me. I just came to grab work.” Her hand is still resting on the doorknob, the entryway closed off. Their voices are echoing through the halls and seem to bounce back into Ruby because she can’t stand still, twisting her hands together at Regina’s monotone.

“I left my Art History textbook in your office.” Regina blinks in recognition, though she seems to turn nervous once more as she twists the metal under her hand and opens the door, stepping over the scattering of papers that have collected there. Ruby wonders if Regina is also having vivid flashbacks while walking across the spot where she pushed Ruby against the wall just days before. The book Ruby had come for is sitting on the edge of Regina’s desk in plain view as Regina sets down her keys and phone, and the very sight of it makes her heartbeat quicken. Regina had picked it up off the floor and had waited for Ruby to come get it. That was Ruby’s truth and she was sticking to it because it gave her the confidence to force out, “I need to talk.”

“Kathryn is waiting for me,” Regina attempts again, this time in a considerably more feeble than before and it’s only then that Ruby clues into the fact that Regina feels guilty. It’s clear as day to Ruby now that she’s put a name to it, the twisted expression on the other woman’s face.

“Please,” Ruby tries as she steps forward into the Regina’s space, desperate to maintain the upper hand while she has it. “Because clearly not talking is leading to things like that,” she waves behind her, to the spot behind them where their tryst had taken place, “and as much as I might have enjoyed it once, I feel like it will lead to some diminishing returns.”

Regina lets out a breath and visibly relaxes at the quip, and it takes Ruby back to think that she might have been in such a tense state for the past two days because of how they ended it. She still doesn’t meet Ruby’s eyes, but Ruby can see her hands reach forward before choosing instead to grip the desk behind her. “I’ve been told several times over the last forty-eight hours not to apologize because it admits guilt, but that’s not… what I wanted. It is, it is what I wanted, but the context–”

“I’m sorry you left. I wish you hadn’t.” Another breath, and Regina is left all but slouching in front of Ruby, seeming exhausted. “It’s probably good that you did, though. If it means anything to you. You kind of caused a short circuit.”

“Well, that was pretty evident.” One more breath, this time hinting at an edge of laughter to it and Ruby finally feels her own posture loosen. “I was so worried that… it was a bad malfunction.”

“Just overheated systems.” Ruby feels tempted to push it, to reach out and brush her fingers against the exposed skin Regina’s hiking outfit reveals. But the setting is all wrong, and she knows that if they don’t put words to it soon that they’ll end up stuck in this cycle of doubt until one of them snaps. “Let me drive you home.”

She’s weighing her options, Ruby can see the scales tipping up and down behind her eyes, but in lieu of responding, she grabs her phone off the desk and types out of a message. Only after her thumb stops pressing against the screen do her eyes meet Ruby’s, and even then they stay for just a moment. “I just have to grab my things.”

Ruby nods and drags her textbook off the desk. “I’m parked by the door out here. Kathryn’s not going to be waiting out there to question me, is she?”

“Let’s hope not, she’s relentless.”

She leaves, deciding not to try her luck with her often useless mouth, and ducks out of the office quickly upon spotting an empty hallway. Ruby feels elated as she slips out into the stairwell, skipping down the steps two at a time until she’s at the bottom. She actually did it. Ruby had attained her one-on-one meeting, and had even managed to secure some semblance of hope that Regina’s been obsessing about their time together as much as she has. Albeit, seemingly for judicial reasons, but Ruby will take what she can get.

The Camaro starts up quietly, the air blasting from the vent, and Ruby hurriedly tidies, stacking her homework in the backseat, any garbage behind the passenger side, and folding her accessories into her jacket and tossing them behind her own seat. She turns the music down but keeps it on the same inoffensive classic rock station she had it switched to when she drove up here. The longer she sits behind the wheel, the more she begins to regret her decision to take this conversation on the road. She can barely be trusted to form sentences in front of Regina when she doesn’t have to focus on not killing them.

But she doesn’t have time to worry about it for long, because Regina’s slipping out of the door and into her car, and it seems like they’ll both be more at ease once they leave the watchful gaze of the campus. As soon as the ivy-covered building disappears from Ruby’s rearview, she takes a breath, bracing herself to speak and ready to force herself to get through this no matter what.

“First of all, since you seem worried about it, I’d like to make it clear that our thing in your office… unexpected, not unwanted. I’m sorry if that was weighing on you. Or Kathryn.” Regina laughs tiredly, resting her elbow on the edge of the door near the window and settling her head in her hand. “I really don’t… want to be the centre of a media firestorm. There’s nothing about that situation that appeals to me. I’m set for money and I’ve had my fill of lawsuits in my life.” She can see Regina from her peripherals, ready to ask and so Ruby continues on quickly. “And I’d like to think I’m just generally not an asshole. At least, not a vindictive one. I don’t deal with exes, I don’t get mad over being rejected. It seems stupid.”

“Like anyone’s ever rejected you.” Apparently at ease, Regina’s now staring openly at Ruby and the mood shifts permanently with the simple act. Ruby now regrets her choice of location for some privacy as it leaves them with a considerable amount of time before she can stop driving. “I guess I don’t have any excuses to keep putting you off. Other than the fact that if anything between was ever found out, I would lose my job and it would end in scandal.”

“I don’t want that to happen, either. So if you really want me to leave you alone, I will.” Which half of her would be okay with, if she’s being honest with herself. Regina makes her undeniably nervous, and it’s not just the political baggage that comes along with her. It’s her whole… put together vibe. When Ruby’s on her own, she’s a barely functioning adult. She can’t cook, sucks at cleaning, is not at all reliable enough to be in charge of bills. The fact that she’s living at a bed and breakfast now is the only reason she has any kind of routine in regards to eating. “But I’d obviously prefer to… see you. Whenever I can.”

“I want that, too.” It doesn’t take her long to respond, but Regina’s words seem measured and weighed out. Ruby’s eyes blink over to her, desperate to make sure her words are genuine. They seem to be, judging by the warm expression she’s receiving. It captures her for a moment too long and when her eyes return to the road, Ruby finds herself quickly coming upon a fox in the middle of the road. She jerks the steering wheel and swerves into the ditching, driving along parallel to the road for a few feet until she finally comes to a dusty halt. Regina’s relaxed pose has straightened into one of rigid fear, but Ruby can’t focus on her as she tries to rip off her seatbelt, throwing open the door and wrenching herself from the seat.

Her heart is slamming against her chest and her lungs seem unable to process air, but Ruby can’t keep herself from pacing. The plaid button up she has on feels like a straightjacket but she’s relatively proud of herself for managing to undo the buttons rather than just ripping it off. Regina approaches from the car but stops as Ruby raises her hand and shakes her head violently, coming to a stop as she does. Ruby lowers herself to the ground, squatting with her forehead resting on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. It takes her a minute before she can open her eyes again, glancing out of the corner of them to catch sight of Regina hoisting herself up on the hood of the Camaro, her own watchful gaze surveying Ruby.

“I was in a bad accident this spring,” she offers to her knees as a means of explanation. It’s going to take her a moment to stand, so she figures she might as well get the excuses out of the way. Ruby blinks her eyes hard a few times until her vision stops wavering, twisting the shirt in her hands her fingers stop tingling. “My… a friend of mine died.”

“I’m so sorry.” She hears it in Regina’s voice before she looks over at her to confirm the shivering of her skin. Tucked under the canopy of the forest, the sun’s rays can do nothing to dampen the chill of the autumn wind sweeping across them. The goal of reaching Regina gives her mind something to focus on as she takes the shaky steps required to close the gap between them. She reaches behind the woman, holding both ends of the red shirt at her lower back until Regina complies and allows her arms to slide through. Before Ruby pulls away from her personal space, the older woman’s hands are reaching up to hold her jaw in place with a featherlight grip.

“I thought I ruined the mood,” Ruby says hoarsely, her nerves jerking from panic to fluttering in an instant.

“You’re pretty good at recovering it when you try.” Regina’s saving them from their cycle of interruptions as well, forcing them to push on despite the fact that the universe is very clearly trying to tell them something. But the universe can go fuck itself, as far as Ruby is concerned, because she’s running her hands down the smooth expanse of Regina’s thighs as raven-haired woman draws her in for kiss. High on only adrenaline, it most definitely proves to be their most sober one, slow and steady rather than filled with the urgent desire that seemed to plagued them before. One of her hands comes up to sift through Ruby’s hair, and it’s calm and peaceful like a scene from a movie.

The distant sound of an oversized engine in an undersized truck revving its way in the distance catches their attention, and leaves them parting mutually, Ruby’s nails still scraping down the sides of Regina’s leg as she tries to catch her breath. It’s Regina who has to take the initiative to move her back so she can slide off the hood of the car, straightening the collar on her borrowed shirt. It’s too big on Ruby and absolutely dwarfs Regina, but the waitress likes the look of it on Regina more than any of her own clothes.

“I think I should drive home.” Ruby laughs quietly and agrees, finally tearing her hands away from Regina’s body, immediately missing the warmth it provides. It’s an odd feeling to be in her own passenger seat, and looking over to see the other woman behind the wheel provides her with some weird thrill as she thinks back to how Regina looked as a teenager from outside the car, young Ruby watching her with unnerving curiosity whether Regina knew it or not. She’s doing the same now, but Regina definitely isn’t in the dark this time. She catches Ruby’s watchful gaze and smiles as she turns over the ignition, waiting for the loud truck in the distance to pass before pulling off the gravel that lines the road. When she has the car securely on the pavement, shifted into the proper gear, her hand extends across the console waiting for Ruby’s to fit into it.

Ruby is immediately worried about the moisture level of her palm, but she’s not about to leave Regina hanging now, halfway up the mountain. She threads their fingers together and tries to dampen the sound of a shuddering breath that leaves her upon the feel of Regina’s thumb stroking across her own. Their silence is broken once when she’s asked if she has to be at work that evening, but Ruby replies with a wordless shake of her head and they remain quiet until they’re well inside the town limits, neither of them wanting to tempt their spell anymore than they already have. Their hands remain clasped until the moment Regina has to shift down, but the moment she does, her fingers return to brush across the skin of Ruby’s wrist.

“I’m going to drop you off at my place and then leave your car down the block from the diner. The alarm inside is off,” Regina says slowly as she pulls to a stop in her driveway and shifts into neutral. She grabs her keys and presses them into Ruby’s still outstretched hand, curling her fingers around them for her when her hand remains motionless. “Go inside and close the blinds. I’ll be right back.” It’s only a few blocks to the diner from here, but Ruby is already dreading the time it’s going to take Regina to walk back. But she’s not the only one with anxiety at the moment, judging by the quiet laugh that echoes in her left ear. “Please don’t run away.”

“Please don’t keep driving.” Regina lets out another chuckle, pulling Ruby’s fist up to her lips, and it takes all of Ruby’s will power to tear herself away and leave the car. She’s tempted to watch Regina as she drives away, but hanging out in her driveway seems like it’s probably against the unsaid rules that are necessary for them. It takes a few tries with the door to find the right key, but once Ruby pushes inside she’s met with a daunting wave of maturity. Regina’s house looks like… a house. Fully furnished, knick knacks and all, decked to perfection. There are _flowers_. Fresh ones. That aren’t anywhere near death. Ruby half expects a set decorator to scurry out from one of the corners if she gets too close to anything, ready to yell at her for touching a prop.

But everything in the perfectly styled house proves to be real as her fingers brush over them, the photos on the wall aren’t always perfectly centered and focused, the blinds turn without problem and nary a crewperson hidden in the shadows says a word. After completing the main floor, she allows herself to slow, partly out of some unfounded fear of entering Regina’s bedroom, but mostly to allow herself a moment to stop. Pictures of a younger Regina and Kathryn take up most of the space, a few unrecognizable family members fill the rest. There’s more than a few scattered about that feature Regina and her father, but she can only find one with the Congresswoman. Taken at what appears to be a high school graduation, the forced smile from her father is evident while both women take to staring stone-faced at the camera, but Ruby supposes it’s nice of Regina to hang it up all the same.

One picture in particular stops her in her tracks as she reaches the top of the stairs, one she recognizes instantly. It’s Regina at the age Ruby can most vividly remember, seventeen and radiant as she smiles. When news outlets weren’t featuring a picture of a young Regina caught in some kind of scandalous situation, this was their fallback. But, as she sees now, the photo hadn’t captured Regina in a private moment, she was posing with a friend who Ruby doesn’t know at all. She’s gorgeous, her skin a rich, tawny colour, with warm dark hair and eyes to match, smiling brightly at the camera. They’re in school uniforms, for the prestigious boarding school Regina managed to graduate from, despite being kicked out of two throughout her teen years.

The sound of the door opening underneath her feet rips her from picture’s spell, and Ruby turns to walk over to the rail to look down at the spiral staircase, not relieved until Regina walks into her line of sight, looking up and smiling when she sees her. She’s up the stairs in an instant, standing before Ruby and letting out a breath and when she reaches out to grab her wrist Regina’s doing so as if she’s amazed to find herself coming in contact with someone.

“You didn’t run away.”

“Neither did you.”

Regina’s grin grows but her eyes drop to the ground as she pulls her bottom lip through her teeth, and, god, Ruby’s going to be replaying that in her brain forever. The shorter woman nods down the hallway and leads her to what Ruby can appropriately describe as a wing of the house, stepping through an open doorway and into a showroom of a bedroom. It’s unlike the other rooms of the house, although in the same contemporary classic design, but with a much warmer pallet than she would have expected. It’s all soft colours and warm tones like Regina herself, filled with mirrors and sketches of dark birds that upon closer examination are actual sketches rather than prints, an indiscernible name that starts with a looping “M” scribbled in the corners. And, of course, there are fresh flowers in the vases up here, filling the room with a fresh aroma that an artificial scent could never match.

She catches sight of the clocktower from the window before Regina closes the blinds, leaving the room in an even softer glow, making all the taupes and beiges come alive. Ruby can feel her breath catch in her throat as Regina crosses the room to stand in front of her, suddenly finding herself aware of the situation with an uneasy clarity. The next one stutters past her lips as a warm hand presses against her hip, sliding up her front and stopping until Regina’s fingertips are dancing across her stomach.

“We don’t have to do anything.”

“We’d better.”

Regina smiles and her hand continues up to her clavicle, stopping to drum against her neck at the still-discoloured spot. Ruby had purposefully left them brandished when she came to Regina’s office, unaware that Regina didn’t actually need any reminders of Wednesday afternoon. The other woman is slow and deliberate in her actions, a complete turnaround from the other day. It should be putting Ruby at ease, but she’s filled to the brim with nervous, kinetic energy that’s making her skin pulse. Her hands grab at the ends of the plaid shirt Regina has draped around her, holding onto them as if they’re keeping her grounded as Regina’s words brush against her cheek.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I laid my eyes on you.” Her lips press against Ruby’s skin sweetly and softly, fingers brushing along down her arms now and leaving goosebumps in their wake. “And I am so tired of trying not to think about you, Ruby. It is a terrible waste of energy for a terrible cause. Because I haven’t felt this way in… ever.”

Ruby twists her face to kiss Regina, sighing against her lips as she does. She’s terrified of what’s to come but desperate to face it head on, tugging at the sides of the shirt until Regina drops her arms to allow the fabric to fall down. But Ruby doesn’t really know what to do with herself now that Regina’s left in the state she found her in, she’s consumed by the feeling and taste of Regina’s lips, allows the other woman to take the lead again as she feels the button on her jeans come loose, stepping out of them when the denim collects at her feet. Ruby’s being lead back towards the queen-sized mattress, which sits on a fabric bed frame that rises up to make an ornate and comfortable looking headboard. Regina pulls away in order to rid the waitress of her t-shirt, not pretending to hide the fact that her eyes fall down Ruby’s body as she works on the rest of her clothes.

 

Regina’s still fully dressed but there’s little Ruby can do to remedy the situation with her frozen hands. It’s Regina who has to take it upon herself to remove her own tank top when she manages to undo Ruby’s bra, apparently finally cluing into the disparity in their nakedness. But Ruby can tell she’s not at all interested in her own when Regina presses her down against the bed, still in her shorts and bra while she rids Ruby of her last barrier of clothing. Her hand presses against the younger girl’s stomach in an unspoken command to stay in place as her eyes travel from the bottom of her foot all the way up every inch of her body, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth as she finally meets Ruby’s gaze.

 

“God, look at you.” It’s barely breathed out, but Ruby hears it and the flush spreading across her cheeks and chest intensifies, and it seems to make Regina grin, full and wolfish as nails skirt across her skin. She leans down and presses a hot kiss to the top of Ruby’s breast, her teeth scraping and making Ruby twist underneath the feeling. She wants to run her hands down the expanse of Regina’s back, to rip off that bra and remove her shorts, but all she can manage to do is twist the comforter underneath them as her breath skitters out past her lips. “This is all I have wanted to do for the past month.”

 

“Regina–” She’s cut off by a leading kiss, Regina apparently getting the cue that this needs to progress before Ruby malfunctions. It doesn’t particularly speed up her pace, but she lower her mouth down to Ruby’s chin and throat and continues on in a deliberate manner, leaving Ruby’s neck to stretch in anticipation, leaving her to stare at stark ceiling that’s painted the same off-white colour that’s in the wallpaper. She wants to look at Regina, wants to burn another memory into her mind, but Ruby can’t bring herself to glance down for fear the anticipation will induce an implosion. Which very well could still happen, with Regina’s thumb sliding across her nipple while her mouth diverts to the side on her journey downwards. She’s tracing the scar on Ruby’s side with kisses, pressing over her healed ribs, and terrifying Ruby for a moment as she worries Regina will take the moment to ask about the former injury.

 

But Regina is clearly a much better master of controlling the mood, twisting her neck to return to her path, unwilling to bypass the fluttering muscles over Ruby’s stomach despite her obvious anxiousness. The wait is undoubtedly excruciating, and Ruby is already struggling to control her breathing, but it’s so, so, **so** worth it as Regina’s head settles between her thighs, her tongue moving with the same slow, deliberate movement her kisses had. She’s aware that a string of curse words leaves her lips though has no recollection of what they are, but she can feel Regina chuckle _against_ her and her hips twist in response. Regina’s hands snake over her thighs and press against her stomach to slam her back down into place while her tongue unrelentingly drags against Ruby, her movements becoming concise and rapid to match the rocking motion Ruby can’t seem to control. 

 

She’s whimpering out her moans as her stomach coils, her twitching hands jerking against their death grip on the comforter as back undulates in a desperate attempt to burn off this building energy. Her neck cranes up as two fingers press into her and Ruby can’t help to take the temporary control of her muscles to force her eyes open, to take in the sight of Regina looking absolutely focused and lost in a contradictory look Ruby can’t place but will undoubtedly remember. She can watch until the moment Regina’s lips pucker, her mouth sucking and fingers drumming, and it’s like white hot heat shoots through her whole body. Her muscles are jerking and spasming against the bed, her crescendoing moans are echoing around the room, but all Ruby can register is the numbing pleasure rolling through her like crashing waves and the weight, the slide of her tongue as it swipes across Ruby’s neck while her cheek remains pressed against the bed.

 

“You’re so beautiful, Ruby.” It’s whispered in her ear but it still feels and sounds distant. Her eyes blink open to the sight of a warm smile as Regina nudges Ruby’s nose with her own, swooping down to kiss her after she does. Her clothes scrape against Ruby’s oversensitive skin as a barbaric reminder of their continued existence, but Ruby’s in no better a headspace now to remove them as she had been ten minutes prior, though her hands manage to uncurl from the bed and rise shakily to the exposed expanse she does have. Anxiety proves to survive no matter what occasion, drilling its way through her bliss to remind her of the often reciprocal nature of sex and what she has to accomplish despite her state.

 

But Regina, beautiful, intelligent, all-knowing Regina – she again seems to prove some preternatural ability to read the situation without any known indication given whatsoever. She pulls away from the kiss at a gradual rate, pressing light pecks to Ruby’s lips before she disengages completely. Her eyes are soft and sweet as she reaches up to brush long stands of chestnut out of Ruby’s face, settling her forehead against the waitress’ after she does. “I hate to take a turn at spoiling the mood, but the sun is setting, I haven’t eaten, and I feel obligated to feed you now that I’ve seen how skinny you really are.”

 

Ruby smiles and feels the pressure leave her chest, but she’s more than thankful of the considerable amount of time it takes for them to finally leave the bed and each other. She grabs her underwear and forgos her bra as she pulls her shirt over her head, but she gets a not-too-subtle hint to leave her pants as well as Regina multitasks between buttoning up Ruby’s plaid, which she promptly reclaimed, and kicking Ruby’s jeans under the bed. Her hand is grabbed and her fingers laced with Regina’s as she’s lead down the winding staircase.

 

“What do you feel like?”

 

“A cigarette.”

 

Regina laughs and turns towards the office instead of the kitchen, turning to face Ruby as she she comes to stand in front of an antique dining room buffet. “That, I can definitely help with.” There’s a small golden box on top, the ornate top being removed to reveal a row of neatly lined cigarettes, a lighter resting on top. “Kathryn makes me keep them here. Jim’s not allowed to know. Health nut.”

 

Ruby accepts the cigarette that is placed at her lips, eyes on Regina as she lights it and proceeds to grab an ashtray out one of the drawers. The office faces the backyard, so she doesn’t seem to feel any worry about throwing back the curtains and sliding open the windows before she settles herself on the top of the buffet.

 

“Are we making a terrible mistake?” She can’t help as the words tumble out with a smoke-laced breath, but Ruby knows she can see the same question bouncing around behind Regina’s eyes. That seems confirmed by Regina’s reaction, which isn’t at all like someone considering a new train of thought as she reaches out to steal the cigarette from Ruby’s fingers.

 

“More than likely,” Regina replies, her tone both sarcastic and serious as she readies herself to take a drag. She flicks the end over the ashtray before passing it back, blowing out the smoke in the window behind her. Steady hands come up to Ruby’s hips, warm palms smoothing over the skin between the gap of her shirt and underwear. “But I want you, and this, and… I absolutely believe we should allow ourselves to live in ignorance for the next day and procrastinate being rational adults for as long as she can.”

 

It’s comforting to hear Regina say that, especially in this fortress of maturity they’re hiding out in. It’s easy to spend time with her without the oppressing weight that both the outside and inside world seem to cause her, as long as she tries hard enough to ignore it. It’s shortsighted as hell, but the shared promise to ignore that accepted fact makes the pill easier to swallow. After a month of anxiety, Ruby can’t help but revel in ignorant bliss, at the very idea that she can just reach out and touch Regina whenever she wants to. Run her hands down her arms while she stands in front of the stove, tuck her hair behind her ear while she eats, straighten the collar of her shirt and lean in to kiss her. It’s all encouraged, reciprocated, real. And absolutely unreal by being as such. They fit together when Ruby pulls her down on the couch, pulling Regina up to rest her head under her chin as they make their way through countless movies, discussing anything and everything that doesn’t have to do with them while they do.

 

It’s when they return to Regina’s bedroom that Ruby finds herself forced to face a sliver of reality. Regina’s pushing back the covers and sliding underneath and waiting for Ruby to do the same, her expression unreadable as her eyes try to adjust to the dark. But she follows anyway, accepts the kiss that’s waiting for her. Ruby tries to dig deep to find the confidence she used to have in bed, but it doesn’t feel like faking anything with Regina is possible. As comforting as the hands running through her hair are, the feel of Regina’s legs (now free from their burdensome shorts) sliding up around hers leave her breath catching in her throat.

 

“I have no idea how to touch you.” It’s a mortifying admission, really. But one that’s going to become apparent sooner or later anyway, Ruby would rather get it out of the way now that it’s obvious that Regina has no intentions of kicking the young woman out of her house. At least for the next sixteen or so hours.

 

Long nails scrape through her hair again until they’re at the crown of her head, forcing it down on one of the pillows so Regina can turn on her side to face her. “You don’t have to touch me.”

 

“I’d very much like to.”

 

“And you’d better. But I’m exhausted from… well, from not doing this for so long. So feel free to put it off until you’re ready.” Her kisses taste like wine now, a heady taste brought up from their time on the couch. Regina doesn’t allow them to linger, though. “Just… stay here tonight.”

 

“I have no idea how to do that, either.”

 

“It’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it.” Ruby laughs and earns herself a grin as the older woman’s thumb comes to brush against her lips. “Not much for morning afters, huh?”

 

“I never wanted to stay to find out.”

 

“You don’t have to tonight.” Ruby’s quiet, unable to either take or reject the out Regina’s giving her. When the silence has lingered on long enough for her non-answer to be taken as a reply, Regina shifts and slips her arm under the covers to wrap around Ruby as she slides closer towards her pillow. “Is that scar on your ribs from the accident?”

 

It’s a diversion for her benefit, though Regina can’t know she’s picked one of her least favourite topics as a result. “I fell out of a window when I was younger.”

 

“Jesus.”

 

“How did you get yours?” Her own fingers come up to brush against Regina’s lips, skirting across the prominent indent in Regina’s top lip.

 

“My mother had a good uppercut and some exceptionally sharp jewellry.”

 

It’s Ruby’s turn to blink in surprise. In equal amounts at both the story and the casual tone with which it’s delivered. The latter seeming absolutely bizarre to the waitress. “Jesus. Why?”

 

“Well, with malicious intent against the stability of her career, I went and decided to be a lesbian.”

 

Her throat tightens at the word, her defense mechanisms kick in. “You selfish bitch.”

 

Regina laughs loudly and leans in to press her lips to Ruby’s. “My mother concurs.”

 

“She sounds like a cunt.”

 

“It’s funny you should mentioned that, because she is indeed a cunt.”

 

And again, Regina’s presence lulls her into a sense of security without Ruby’s awareness. Her nervousness at the situation, her general inability to sleep when she’s on her own, the world outside the window – it dies out somewhere in their talking. Ruby doesn’t know when she fell asleep, but she wakes up with Regina’s serene face in front of hers, feeling more rested than she’s ever felt. It’s like a disorienting dream as she blinks her eyes open to the foreign bedroom, but as soon as she does she can’t close them again and allow herself to get lost in it. Regina’s skin is tantalizing against hers, but Ruby manages to slip away from it. She needs to breathe, if only for a minute, the cold air of the morning, her body’s internal clock used to the cutting winds against her cheeks as she runs. Regina’s eyes are open when Ruby’s head pops back from the side of the bed, having to reach under the mattress to retrieve her jeans.

 

“Good morning.” Her voice is sleep-warmed and rough and it makes Ruby want to climb back into the bed and at least attempt to try touching Regina.

 

“I was just going to check in with Granny so she doesn’t assume I’m dead in a ditch somewhere. And probably get a change of clothes.” The smile spreads slowly across Regina’s lips and it reminds Ruby to breathe. “Good morning.”

 

“What time is it?”

 

“Probably still only kind of morning.”

 

“Why do you get up so early?”

 

“I’m weird.”

 

“Good.”

 

Ruby leans over the mattress and brushes Regina’s hair back, studying her face for a moment for fear that once she walks through the door that she’ll never make it back to this position. “Go back to sleep. I’ll be back soon.”

 

“Your keys are by the door.”

 

Regina returns the kiss bestowed upon her and her eyes are closed again by the time Ruby’s collected all of her things and taken one last glance at the bed. She gets out of the house as quickly as she can for fear that she’ll be trapped inside forever if she doesn’t. The cold air is refreshing, the morning already a misty grey Maine day in the making, just adding to her dreamstate all the more. Ruby almost regrets not taking her button up back from its spot on Regina’s floor, but she feels like it’s good incentive to return. Not to mention the fact that she’s doing her best to encourage Regina to keep it forever, already in love with the sight of it on the other woman.

 

The diner is just opening when she steps inside, earning her a brief glance from her grandmother and nothing more. Ruby helps with setting up the tables and and preparing the coffee, not wanting to risk taking a cup for herself for fear she’ll wake up and realize the night before had all been in her head. When the first customer of the day walks through the door, it’s Granny who waits on him, paying no mind to Ruby as she slips out of the storefront and into the Inn. As she enters her room, she takes a breath and tries to sort things out if only for a moment. She’s going back to Regina’s, but she needs some aspect of her routine filled today and so she decides to change into her running shorts before she folds up a few outfits to slip into the slim backpack she keeps for her longer routes, throwing in some deodorant and grabbing her phone charger as well. Does she need anything else? To go to Regina’s house? God, is she five and going on a sleepover?

 

“Don’t want the shift?” Granny asks as Ruby returns to the diner, ignoring the way their lone patron is eyeing up her exposed legs.

 

“I have plans today, actually.”

 

“That’s nice.”

 

“I might be late for my shift tomorrow night.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Ruby shifts on spot, feeling the weight of the distance in their relationship expand just a pound more. But this particular problem has been beyond her ability to deal with for ten years, she has no room for it today. She says goodbye and readies her headphones, taking a very scenic route on the way to Regina’s but not allowing herself to stay away for too long. Ruby needs to confirm that she’s not crazy, that Regina Mills did indeed go down on her last night, and that she is considering doing so again in the future. She’s addictive and Ruby refuses to allow herself to get in the way of another hit by running away. So she runs to, eventually, choosing to slip into the small, canopied alley that runs behind Regina’s property and separates it from the forest, paranoid of any early rising neighbours or their gross Saturday morning cartoon-watching kids.

 

The door is still unlocked when Ruby pushes through, so she’s made it past one level of possible barriers Regina could have put up if she changed her mind in the past hour and a half. The water is running somewhere in the house and as Ruby’s heart rate slows she finds herself following the sound back to Regina’s room, catching sight of one of the cracked doorways on the other side of the room. Dropping her bag and phone on the bed, Ruby creeps forward until she’s pushing the wooden divider out of the way, finding an en suite bathroom that seems ripped from a luxurious hotel. Steam billows from the large glass shower on the other side of the room, drawing Ruby in like a moth to the flame that she's more than ready to jump head first into.

 

Regina stands in the middle of the glass cube under a spray of water raining from the ceiling, seeming lost in the mist though her eyes open immediately upon Ruby stepping into the room. She looks over her shoulder and smiles, reaching over to turn a polished nickel faucet to turn on the second showerhead. The steam shooting from the walls does nothing to dissuade the dreamlike feel, but the sight of Regina standing there fills her with a familiar nervous energy. Clothes falling like a trail of breadcrumbs behind her, Ruby steps in and doesn’t hesitate before walking forward to press herself against Regina’s back. The older woman’s head falls back to her shoulder while her mouth drops down to the one being presented in front of her, lips idly moving across to Regina’s neck, feeling her pulse and tasting her skin.

 

Her hands are free to move this time, they have no paralyzing fears or insidious pieces of clothes to hinder their travel. _This is real_ , she tells herself. And it’s amazing. The weight of Regina’s breast as she tests the feel of it, the way her body leans back into Ruby’s as a hand slips down to the juncture between her legs, the feeling of a groan reverberating across her palm as her hand comes up to holds Regina’s throat securely. _This isn’t a dream._ And it’s obvious now that she’s standing here, under the spray of Regina’s shower as her fingers slide against the other woman. Ruby’s dreams have never been this nice to her, after all.


	4. Part Four

It’s like living in a fantasy. Almost literally, with Ruby’s goddess-like form roaming around her kitchen in her running shorts and a tank top that exposes the defined muscles of her back. Her living statute claims to be a disaster in the kitchen, but when she spots a bottle of Baileys in Regina’s liquor cabinet her instincts take over and lead her to whisking together an egg wash for french toast. Judging by the sunlight streaming in from the north-facing windows, it looks like a beautiful Saturday morning outside, but Regina has no intentions of finding out. Not when she can lean forward against the island while Ruby stands backlit in the glow, luminescent in the bright light as she shifts her chestnut hair over one shoulder and looks up to glance at Regina.

 

“This is even better when you have banana bread.”

 

“Banana bread french toast? Sounds wonderful.”

 

“It is. Do you have any cinnamon?”

 

Regina straightens and reaches behind her to dance her fingers across the tops of the small containers until she comes across the requested item and hands it back over. Ruby is lost, though, staring past Regina.

 

“What?”

 

“You have a full spice rack. That you actually seem to use. It’s a level of adulthood I can’t fathom.”

 

Regina laughs and watches as she adds a teaspoon to the mixture, dropping in thick slices of bread and coating each side of every piece. “Cuban father. I think spices just aren’t a white people thing, so you’re probably safe on that front.”

 

It’s Ruby’s turn to laugh, stacking pieces of sopping bread on a plate and walking towards the stove. “But look at this,” she continues, waving towards the metal faucet that is folded back against the backsplash, “a pot-filler.”

 

“Incredibly mature, I agree.”

 

“A _food processor_.”

 

“A contemptuous symbol of adulthood if there ever was one.”

 

Ruby smiles and drops a pad of butter into the hot pan, tilting it around until the surface is coated. “I’m just letting you know what you’re getting yourself into. Someone who’s intimidated by basic kitchenware.”

 

Regina waits until the bread is pressed into a skillet before leaning forward and settling her lips on Ruby’s bare shoulder. “I’ll try to keep the dastardly stand mixer out of eyesight.”

 

“Oh, so you’re not going to bake for me?”

 

Their breakfast is taken in the dining room, the room bright as the open windows look out into the backyard. The table is already set up with syrup and powdered sugar, though Regina finds herself spinning back towards the kitchen to grab the bottle of Baileys before sitting kitty-corner to Ruby.

 

“I suppose I should call Kathryn soon.”

 

“Is she going to hate me? _Does_ she hate me?”

 

“Hate you? No. She’s charmed by you.”

 

“That does not come across at all.”

 

“It never will.”

 

Ruby’s grin returns, subdued and lovely in the morning sun. When her eyes return to Regina’s a flush spreads across her cheeks upon the realization that she’s being watched. “I guess we need to talk before you can placate her.”

 

“That would be prudent. Where do we start?”

 

“I have no idea. You’re the one with a food processor, you’re supposed to be practical.”

 

Regina cuts a corner off of her toast, swimming it in the Canadian maple syrup drizzled on her plate and popping it in her mouth, chewing it thoroughly. “I think it’s safe to say we’re both more comfortable not talking long term relationship issues,” Ruby nods around her cup of coffee, “and considering this whole thing could come crashing down around us, that’s probably for the best.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

“And as easy as becoming a cliché would make any potential novels in my future, I don’t want to be some college professor who finds some young, impressionable student to live out some early midlife crisis with.”

 

“I’m really not that inspiring a subject if you’re looking for some manic pixie dream girl. I lack willpower and energy to be either manic or pixie-like.”

 

“Oh, you’re plenty inspiring. But I’d like to think I’m not bored or depressed enough to require such a thing.”

 

Ruby takes to using her fingers for the rest of her meal, tearing off what remains of her bread to mop it around her plate. Regina’s eyes watch with keen interest Ruby’s lips wrap around her thumb, the trance broken as the young woman straightens in her seat. “So, we’ve established that this isn’t you living out some creepy powerplay fantasy, nor is it some attempt on my end to get some blackmail information.”

 

“Well, that’s good. So, I guess we should talk about some realities. Like the fact that if you want to continue anything with me, this,” she waves her hand around to gesture at her house, “is pretty much where the grand majority of our time is going to be spent. I went out for dinner with Kathryn, Jim, and his brother in New York a year ago and the poor guy is still getting calls from reporters asking whether or not we’re an item.”

 

“I’m fine with that.”

 

“ _Really?_ ” She doesn’t believe the waitress is really thinking it through. Pot-fillers lose their appeal after awhile. Regina’s never used hers once. “Because… I know we’re not daring to talk about the “future” word, but I don’t really… _do_ much. I worry the appeal will wear off too quickly for you to be bothered with all of this stress.”

 

Ruby finishes off her coffee and crosses her legs on the seat, turning herself to face Regina more. “I’ve spent _years_ of my life desperately trying to be an extrovert, against all natural instinct to avoid packs. I hate crowds – not just crowds, I hate people. I don’t… I don’t know how to connect with them in the way that they just can. And I used to be really good at faking it, but ever since I moved home, I’ve just been… too tired to pretend that I care anymore.” She catches Regina’s eyes, looking apologetic and bashful. “But I don’t. With you. I don’t want to be with you in a crowd of people, heaven forfend I lose a second of the attention of yours that I am so clearly desperate for.”

 

She can feel the chuckle bubble out beyond her lips but all Regina can focus on is how charming Ruby looks when she squirms on spot. “So this is a semi-serious, extremely tenuous relationship that must take place entirely in the shadows, which both of us claim to be okay with because of our mutual history of attempting to force ourselves to enjoy the limelight we hate?”

 

“Sounds like a reasonably more interesting book.” Regina’s lips split into a smile that hurts her cheeks as she reaches across the table to nestle her fingers through Ruby’s, her thumb stroking back and forth. Ruby doesn’t freeze up in the slightest, if anything the tension seems to leave her body at Regina’s touch, but the young woman looks conflicted as she stares down at their clasped hands. “Can I ask… and I don’t mean this in a fishing kind of way, really, so please don’t patronize me – sorry, I mean… just be honest: why me?”

 

“It’s hard to give you a rational answer to your question when I’m still figuring it out myself. As shallow as it is it’s because I can’t stop looking at you. I haven’t been able to since I first saw you.” Ruby’s green eyes drop, her muscles tense a bit but she doesn’t pull away. “And then when we spoke you were so… obstinate,” the younger woman laughs, “and engaging, I couldn’t believe it. That you could possibly be blessed enough to look like you’ve stepped out of a renaissance painting and have an appropriate distrust upon first meeting someone reading a Rand novel.” Regina takes a breath, readying herself to shift into a straight-to-the-point attitude, determined to ease Ruby’s fears in the pragmatic manner she had requested. It seems only fair after all. “I don’t connect with people easily, either. It’s hard for me to open up with anyone, and our… differences should make that infinitely harder but they don’t. And that’s… _this_ is rare for me. Being content and excited all at once. And if it fades in a week or ten years, I don’t care, I’m practical enough to appreciate sunny days when they’re here.”

 

Ruby doesn’t speak for a moment but when she does, her voice sounds quiet in the empty house. “That’s a pretty good reason.”

 

“I happen to think so. Better than just admitting that I am just so desperate to push you up against a wall and kiss you everytime I see you. Which is indeed an instinct I often feel, as you might remember.” It earns her Ruby’s gaze again, an easy smile. “But I suppose I should know more about you if I’m going to be laying out relationship terms for us to follow. I want to know more about you. You’re a fascinating little creature.”

 

“And you’re giving me far too much credit. I’m actually unbelievably boring now that I’ve given up pretending not to be more personable than I am.”

 

“Then tell me how boring you are. About your boring childhood and boring hometown and its boring people. Start with your boring family. I already know you have a grandmother, I can only assume you also have parents of some kind.”

 

At this, Ruby does stiffen, as much as she tries to play it off as her shifting in her seat. There’s a split moment where her eyes look for something to distract herself – but her coffee has been drained, her plate is empty. Perhaps if she were in her own house, she could find an excuse to walk around, but she seems stuck to the chair. The serene smile has turned strained and Regina distinctly gets the feeling that Ruby is looking at the tip of her nose rather than actually meeting her eyes. “It kind of bums people out. The whole backstory thing. I can make my peace with that, but people get… that sad look they get when they see old people struggling to get around or Sarah McLachlan commercials for animal charities.”

 

Regina tries to give her most relaxed smile, tugging their joined hands to bring Ruby’s palm to her lips before letting her go, a gesture of peace. “Try me. I’m quite heartless when I want to be.”

 

Her laugh is as forced as her smile, but Ruby waves as if to dismiss her previous dour sentiments away. “It’s really pretty boring, for how much it bums people out. Mom got pregnant in high school, didn’t meet my dad, and the last time I saw her I was thirteen.”

 

“Sounds like we have cunty mothers in common then.”

 

“Most definitely.” Relief visibly washes over her, even if Ruby begins to busy herself by collecting everything up on her plate. “I’m aware enough now to realize it was undoubtedly for the best. She wasn’t winning mom of the year when she was around. And… I had Granny. Who I fought with constantly. So, you know, pretty normal, boring teenage rebellion stuff. Then I left Storybrooke, got t-boned by a drunk senator in my boyfriend’s car, and returned to wait out the settlement.”

 

“It was your boyfriend who died?” Regina can’t keep her face neutral now, try as she might, and Ruby seems to just as surprised by the reveal as she is.

 

“I – yeah. Peter. He was… probably my only functional relationship in my life. So that… was also a bummer. Something to add to the list.” She gives a humourless, desperate laugh and Regina can’t help but take pity on the girl.

 

“Well, bravo for having one functional relationship. I have yet to manage that, romantically.” Her nails tap against the table for a moment. “So, not a morning after person despite having a functional relationship?”

 

“It was different with Peter. He worked nights and I really only saw him a few hours a day, if I did. We didn’t live together. But the time we did spend together… it wasn’t… I can cuddle when I want to. I guess it just takes some time for me to remember how.” Regina chuckles quietly. “What about that relationship you were telling me about at Jefferson’s? The older woman.”

 

“Mm. Well, she was… something else. Part revenge fantasy, part power play wish fulfillment, all toxic. She has a kid who isn’t much younger than me, your age. She was using me as leverage over my mother, I was doing the same. So it was a mutual fuck you to her.”

 

“Even though she donates to your mother’s campaign?”

 

“Politics are so much more fucked up than you can imagine. But she and I are still… friends. Kind of. We just get along too well to cut each other out, even if it’s definitely over. What about you? Any majorly weird relationships? Or weird friendships?”

 

“Nothing too weird, just the typical crap that comes along with having sex too young. Sleeping with a friend’s boyfriend, college guys before I should have known any college guys. I’d pretend to feel bad about any of it, but I don’t.” Ruby freezes then, and Regina wonders if she’s going to start talking about some correlation between her topic and her thing with Regina, but the younger woman just looks up at her with a guilty expression. “Weird friends. I have one – kind of. I haven’t really… been great at friends for awhile, but especially since I came home. But I have one now. And I told him… that I was having relationship issues with a teacher.”

 

“Oh.” Now Regina’s wondering how quickly this is all going to crash down around them.

 

“But he thinks it’s a male teacher, so he definitely has no idea it’s you. And I can keep it that way. Tell him it never went anywhere. But I don’t think… I don’t think he’d do that, you know. He’s friends with Jefferson, he knows how to keep things professional. For the most part. He’s going to be a doctor, he’s not totally useless. And he was, you know, encouraging. About talking to you one more time. I probably wouldn’t have come yesterday if he hadn’t been.”

 

“I guess it wasn’t particularly fair to expect you to deal with this all on your own. What’s his name?”

 

“Whale. Victor, I mean, but Whale. You… probably wouldn’t like him. I don’t really like him. But he’s kind of the only person I can talk to because he takes everything with a grain of salt. Which is kind of what I need.”

 

“Well, I’d say we’ve covered a fair amount of bases for a relationship that’s not even a day old and riddled with rules to follow.” That Ruby grin returns, bright once more as she follows Regina, collecting her dishware and walking it into the kitchen. “I should call Kathryn. While I do, please make yourself at home. And I mean it – if I’m going to confine you to this house, I want you to feel comfortable here. I am too careful a person to leave anything embarrassing or sentimental around, so don’t fear for my privacy. Take whatever you want, do whatever you want–”

 

Her dishes joining Ruby’s in the sink, Regina turns around and finds herself cut off mid-sentence by Ruby’s lips, her hands coming up to rest at Regina’s pulse point. She’s a fantastic kisser, it should have been mentioned in the teacher’s list of reasons she can’t get over Ruby. Truly professional: gauging and measuring reactions, predicting responses, switching from dominant to submissive depending on Regina’s hold. It’s as if the act is a well-crafted skill. Which, Regina supposes, it is.

 

“And there’s a key behind the shutter closest each of the doors,” she murmurs against the lips that are set in a matching grin to her own. It’s hard to get a clean break from Ruby, she can’t help but press featherlight kisses before she allows the girl to leave her grasp. “The alarm code is 2868. So please feel free to come and go as you wish.”

 

“Why 2868?”

 

“It’s the word “cunt” spelled out.”

 

“Big fan, huh?”

 

“It’s so satisfying to say.” One more kiss before she pulls away completely. “I’ll be back down in a bit.”

 

It’s her way of requesting privacy and Ruby seems to respect it, Regina can hear her meandering into the study by the time she reaches the top of the stairs. She feels like a teenager, which is inappropriate given the context of her situation, but she doesn’t care as she climbs up onto her bed, overtop of the rumpled sheets where she had pushed Ruby down after their shower and kissed her for the better part of an hour. Made out would be the appropriate term, but she’s already pushing it. Regina dials Kathryn’s number, eyes glued to the small disruption in the neutral palette of the room, Ruby’s red backpack, her folded clothes.

 

“You know how I loathe unanswered texts.” There’s rattling in the background, she and Jim must be finishing up their own breakfast. Probably dressed in next to nothing. Regina’s walked in on them more than enough times to know such Saturday morning routines. Regina can’t blame Kathryn though, she appreciates looking at Jim’s body for the same reason she does Ruby’s: it’s just some superhuman form of physical perfection that seems unachievable without photoshop or something of the like. If Regina were ever interest in a man, it would be Jim. But she has a Ruby now.

 

“I know.”

 

“And, yet, five are sitting in your inbox right now. A bright red bubble above the little green box.”

 

“I see that now.”

 

“Well, I assumed you were dead or in jail, just so you know. You tell me you’re finally going to listen to that message from your mother now that you’ve calmed down about what happened,” never “incident” or “situation”, as that would imply one occurred, so sayeth the lawyer, “and then you blow me off after hiking – thanks for making me take the afternoon off and ditching me, by the way – and _then_ nothing. All night. I assumed you had driven to her place in Portland and murdered her. Or gotten murdered by her.”

 

“No, it turned out a little bit better than that.”

 

“Well?”

 

Kathryn wants her to get to the point, Regina knows it, so she spares her the poetry and cuts to the chase. “Ruby turned up at my office. To talk. And we decided we wanted to try this out. And it’s been going pretty well for seventeen hours. She’s told one person she’s involved with a professor, a male one, and it seems only fair that she get to actually tell someone the truth. Do you know Victor Whale?”

 

“Vaguely.” Her tone is blank and casual, so very Kathryn. But she’s stepping out of the kitchen and likely into her office. “He was a freshman when I was a senior, I think. But he hung out with the seniors for some reason, I think he had pot connections.”

 

“Reliable, then.”

 

“Maybe you should meet him.”

 

“Maybe.” Regina pauses, slipping her feet under the covers and waiting for Kathryn to continue. When she doesn’t, she prods, “Well?”

 

“How was it?”

 

“Very satisfying.”

 

“Mutual?”

 

“No, but balanced out this morning. Even an unbiased eye would give her high grades, especially considering she’s very likely never been in any similar kind of situation before.”

 

“Has that come up?”

 

“No. I don’t want to force it. Got a quick backstory, though. Absentee parents. I guess she was in a car accident this spring, a drunk senator killed her boyfriend. I assume she was hospitalized for awhile as well. Sounds like they settled out of court.”

 

“Jesus. That’s not a great situation to be rebounding from.”

 

“It isn’t, is it?” Regina chews her lip for a moment, eyes still glued to the brash red backpack, its slim form looking neatly packed to the brim. “But she seems eager to… try. Even given the circumstances. And that seems like a lot to ask for.”

 

“It is. She’s twenty-two and far too good-looking for this town. You’re lucky she’s settling.”

 

“Fuck off,” she fires back flippantly, continuing on without missing a beat. “I think she and Jim would get along. They’re both quiet. And gorgeous.”

 

“We should have dinner. But if he leaves me for her then you’re definitely using me to practise going down on girls.”

 

“That seems fair.” She runs the tip of her thumbnail across the hardened edge of her middle finger. “I’m really… happy.”

 

“I can tell by the way you can barely manage to say the word.”

 

“I don’t like saying it.”

 

“I know you don’t.”

 

“The first time she kissed me, she put her hand on my neck,” Regina’s showcasing the motion despite the fact that Kathryn can’t see her, “and she squeezed just a little bit, to keep me in place. She keeps doing it and I don’t think she realizes it. It’s fucking killing me, Kathryn.”

 

“I can only assume not literally. Didn’t think you’d be into something that kinky.”

 

“It’s not that _kinky_.”

 

“You’re hardly ever into anything fun.”

 

“I was into the Timber Queen of the Atlantic Northeast, thank you.”

 

“She was an interesting person – and a bitch, not a kink in itself.”

 

“We did… things.”

 

“Well, it sounds like your child bride is pretty adventurous.”

 

“Please don’t call her that when she’s within earshot.”

 

“Of course not.”

 

“She’s worried you don’t like her.”

 

“She’s right to be worried, I’m quite hard to win over.”

 

“But you like her.”

 

“I do. I’d like to see how she holds up in casual conversation.”

 

“Relatively well.”

 

“And holds herself very well in bed.”

 

“It’s so hard to keep my hands off her.”

 

“Go for it while you can. Never know when the rug will be pulled out. Besides, you need it.”

 

“I definitely missed orgasms that aren’t self-induced, but watching her… it’s like a religious experience.”

 

“Sign me up for whatever afterlife that religion would promise along with it.”

 

“It’s nice to feel happy.”

 

“You deserve it.”

 

“Do I?”

 

“Well, no less than anyone else.”

 

“I’ll see if she can do dinner tomorrow.”

 

“Maybe you should invite her out to the lake next weekend.”

 

“You don’t think that’s too soon?”

 

“I don’t know if you want to start weighing your relationship against conventional timelines and regulations.”

 

“Good point. She asked if we’re making a huge mistake.”

 

“When was this?”

 

“During a post-coital cigarette.”

 

“She’s smoking my cigarettes? Tell her I hate her.”

 

“You’re just jealous.”

 

“I am, and I hate her for it.”

 

“Do you think it’s going to blow up in our faces?”

 

“You’re both going into it with open eyes, you’re both apparently quite smitten with each other, and considering the first seventeen hours have gone swimmingly, there’s certainly nothing to imply the next seventeen years shouldn’t be just as smooth.”

 

“Fuck off,” Regina repeats. “Jim’s not that much older than her.”

 

“Yes, you don’t need to keep pointing it out, I’m well aware that we’re both cougars.”

 

“I just mean, they must have gone to school together, right? That… that should make things easier.”

 

“Assuming she hasn’t slept with him.”

 

“There’s that. Which one of us is gonna ask?”

 

“I will. Don’t tell her she knows him, she can have a surprise ally if she shows up tomorrow.” Regina makes a noise of agreement, her way of conceding defeat to the end of their conversation, but she doesn’t say anything else. “I am glad that you’ve settled things in this way. I was hoping she would come around. I think she could be good for you. Normal, despite the circumstances and probable sexuality crisis.”

 

“She does seem mostly normal, doesn’t she?”

 

“That probably means she’s hiding something horrific.”

 

“Let’s hope it’s just the closeted gay thing.”

 

“Let’s.”

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Can I bring anything?”

 

“Booze. A cigarette.”

 

“Tut tut.”

 

“Then enjoy one for me. With your child bride while you live out your _Price of Salt_ fantasy.”

 

“I _will_.”

 

“You bitch.”

 

“Goodbye.”

 

“Goodbye.”

 

Regina lets out a content breath as she ends the call, leaning against the headboard and drumming her nails against her phone. She should change from her pyjama bottoms but she’s not quite ready to leave the house, so Regina settles with remaking the bed and cleaning up the bathroom before returning downstairs, tiptoeing across the original hardwood to look in on the study. It stands empty, leading Regina to the casual living room where she finds Ruby with her back to her as she sits against the armrest of the loveseat, a slim novel in hand. She waits before stepping into the room, enjoying the sight of the girl in such a calm, concentrated state far too much to not allow herself the moment.

 

Ruby jumps and looks up when Regina’s hands come to rest on her shoulders, folding the book in the same fluid motion as she gives her smile. “Do we have Kathryn’s blessing?”

 

She matches the grin, her hands trailing up the slim neck to Ruby’s jaw. She’s so achingly lovely, so serene and relaxed in this moment and the sense of power that surges through her is immeasurable. Craning her head down, her lips press to the crown of her head, tilting the girl’s head down until she can kiss her properly, albeit upside down. The taste of Baileys and coffee is still heavy on her tongue as Regina steps around to take the other spot on the loveseat, kneeling and pulling Ruby from her relaxed position and into her lap.

 

Kathryn told her to enjoy herself and Regina’s not about to start questioning the blonde’s commands now. And Ruby, with her strength and stature, feels marvelous wrapped around her as the book falls down between the seat cushions near their legs. Ruby remains a paradox, her silky smooth skin and slim figure hiding the steel-like muscles and tendons hiding underneath, pushing back against Regina’s fingertips as they travel up her back underneath her shirt. As lovely as her lips are, the breathy pants against her mouth demand to be heard, and Ruby has so much skin for her to explore. The broad, strong jaw, the smooth, apple-round cheeks and sensitive, delicate earlobes that earn her a gasp when she attaches her teeth to one.

 

Any plans or attempts to draw out the experience are once more thrown out the window at Ruby’s reactions to the lightest of her touches. Her skin is warming up underneath Regina’s hands and her own fingers are tangled in a death grip with her shirt. She’s a “zero to sixty” kind of girl and Regina can’t help but appreciate it, feed the palpable energy and give into it by not delaying, but as she snakes her hand around to the younger woman’s stomach she can’t help but linger at the feel of the deep grooves underneath her skin, the ones that are prominent and pronounced as Ruby stretches and rocks against her.

 

Her whole body extends and reacts as Regina’s digits plunge below the multiple waistbands she has to circumvent to slide her fingers into the sticky, wet heat she finds. It’s exponential, the reaction she finds for the minimal buildup she had participated in, and Regina can’t help but find the exuberance endearing. Repression being let out and all that. But now that she has the access to look at the Ruby, without her face being pressed into her neck or between her legs, she takes full advantage: watching with wicked delight as Ruby’s eyebrows furrow and her mouth forms words she can’t bring to pass as two of Regina’s fingers slide into her with no resistance.

 

She doesn’t dare kiss her for fear of missing out on even one gasp, but when Ruby’s hands finally untangle from her shirt, one finds its way up to the back of her head and draws her in for a lascivious press of the lips that she can’t deny. The reaction is night and day to the one she had given the night before, the way her fists had held so steadfastly to the bedspread had left Regina wondering if she would find fingernail-sized tears in the fabric. She’s eager today, wanton and more at ease to press herself against Regina. The shower this morning has been good for both of them, it seems. A confidence booster for one and all. Their kiss broken, Ruby’s forehead comes to rest against Regina’s as her hand comes around the back of her head to rest under her jaw, the other pressing against Regina’s shoulder to assist with her own momentum.

 

Regina’s intent eyes are still watching Ruby with her intense gaze, and when Ruby’s own blink open they’re caught in a moment of unexpected and urgent seriousness that has yet to fit into their relationship, even with its roller coaster start. Perhaps it’s because it’s their first true moment of give and take, participation on both sides with fears and angers left at the door. Ruby doesn’t break their eye contact, but the momentary stop in their pace is reclaimed as her hips start moving again, dropping a kiss to Regina’s lips as she hovers over her lap. It seems fitting that Ruby should be the one to restart after their temporary moment of clarity, Regina takes it as her proof that she’s following the older woman’s command to make herself at home, to take whatever she wants.

 

All of the sudden it seems selfish to Regina to keep her hidden away from the world, as Ruby grinds down against her hand, whimpering these delicious sounds that seem otherworldly when given against Regina’s ear. She’s most definitely unbridled now, Regina can practically hear the moans tear from deep inside her belly, sounding confused and unrestrained as they seem to surprise even her. She’s vocal. Regina can work with vocal. She can grind the heel of her hand down against Ruby’s oversensitive clit and drag the groans out of her until her muscles are clenching and spasming against her, basking in the way her voice echoes across Regina’s empty house as she falls apart. An instant later she’s limp against Regina’s hold, forehead against hers, the sounds now a set of muffled whimpers as they get stuck vibrating against her closed lips. Her Artemis come undone.

 

“What do you want for dinner tonight?” She doesn’t know why she keeps undercutting Ruby’s post-orgasmic glow with meal-related comments and questions, but Regina feels the need to put the other woman at ease about what’s going to happen next before she can catch her breath.

 

To her credit, Ruby lets out a scraped up laugh as she trembles in Regina’s arms. “Is this some Pavlov thing where you’re trying to make me associate sex with food?”

 

“Do you think I could get a grant for that?”

 

“Hmm… I’m sure the fine people on the internet would chip in.” Her hips give a disappointed cant as Regina pulls her hand away, her fingertips twitching against Regina’s skin. “I’m not sure I’m going to get used to this. I guess that’s not a bad thing.”

 

Regina isn’t sure whether or not a comment on her soaked palm will go over well – are they at that point in their relationship? Dirty talk can come into play before they can even begin, she supposes, but there’s something about Ruby’s general skittishness that makes her feel like it would be a misstep. She diverts, instead, to an easier comment to make on the waitress’ exuberant reaction to her ministrations. “You always seem somewhat surprised by the process of an orgasm.”

 

Another laugh, a low grumble against her cheek as Ruby turns her head to press kisses along her jaw. “I think I’ve been doing them wrong. That, or you’re just doing them better. If you’re fishing for compliments, you’ll have to ask the chunks of brain matter that are scattered across the room after you fucked it out of my head.”

 

“You’re good at compliments.” Her sticky fingers rest on the thigh hiked up over her waist, twisting her head to catch Ruby’s lips. “I love touching you.”

 

“Feel free to never stop.”

 

“Don’t tempt me.” Regina’s clean hand comes up to rest against her still racing heartbeat. “I like watching you come, I like watching you eat, I like watching you talk. So tell me what you want for dinner.”

 

“A cigarette,” she murmurs against Regina’s mouth.

 

“Kathryn told us to enjoy one for her.”

 

“So, she doesn’t hate me?”

 

“I told you, she thinks you’re charming. She’s just not an overly affectionate person. I’ll try to make up for it, because you’ll likely be seeing quite a bit of her if you’re spending any of your free time here.”

 

“I think I can live with that.”

 

“Are you a big Flynn fan?” she asks as she nods towards Ruby’s forgotten novella down by their thighs.

 

“Loved _Gone Girl_. Tried to avoid it because of all the hype, was promptly put in my place upon reading it. I’ve been meaning to buy this but the stores in this town are more focused on the classics. And John Grisham. Must be a lot of fans around here.”

 

Regina’s chuckle is cut off by the sharp sound of the doorbell echoing through the entryway, leaving them both to freeze on spot. Regina holds her breath as she waits for another announcement of arrival, trying to figure out who it could be when Kathryn is the only visitor she’s ever received. When nothing else comes she motions for Ruby to ease off her and grabs a tissue from the box on the coffee table to wipe her hand.

 

“Wait for me in the office?” Regina tries to keep her voice casual if only for Ruby’s sake, as the girl looks like a deer in headlights at the moment and it’s easier to focus on her anxiety rather than her own. The brunette nods and moves quietly out of the room and into the office as Regina turns the other way, stopping to look back and ensure the foyer is clear before she approaches the door, peeking out the vertical window that runs along it. But there’s no dark figure beyond the glass, no shadow falling across the welcome mat as she inches the heavy wood open. A purple box sits on her front step, its gold bow shining in the sun. The walkway is empty, the street beyond the same. Regina grabs the box and slams the door back shut quickly, taking a deep breath as she locks it to settle her heart rate.

 

Ruby is waiting anxiously by the bureau but she relaxes instantly upon seeing the present in Regina’s hands, her perfectly arched eyebrow quirking upwards. “Special delivery from Jefferson.”

 

“Is that what it is?”

 

“That’s how I received the weed I bought from him. Somehow he managed to sneak it up the stairs of the Inn and leave it at my bedroom door. He’s resourceful. What did you order?” She asks her question as she turns back towards the wood piece behind her to open the ornate box containing the cigarettes, sliding the window open with one hand before Regina can think to struggle with it. She opens the present instead of answering, setting the gold ribbon down on her desk and taking off the top to reveal a box brimming with sponge toffee, half of it covered in a chocolate drizzle and the other left bare. “So, actual treats?”

 

Regina digs past some of the desserts to find a neatly wrapped cone, holding it out to Ruby after she gets her lighter going. “Well, not entirely.” She eyes the decorative tag attached to it, “SMOKE ME” written in swirling letters. “Isn’t he cute?”

 

Ruby blows her smoke out and grabs the joint from her. “When did you slow down on the partying, anyway? I stopped stalking you online at some point.”

 

“When I moved here, really. Even still, Kathryn tries to keep our nightlife alive to try to counteract her conflicted feelings about getting married so young after spending a lifetime mocking those who have done the same.” She drops the box on the buffet and reaches for Ruby’s cigarette, taking a long drag. Kathryn had been the actual smoker between the two, and so the smell is distinctly tied to the blonde in her mind whenever Regina catches a whiff of tobacco. Codependent losers. “My tastes were usually a little harder than this, however. Different than his harder stock, too, he keeps pushing LSD on Kathryn and I and she’s an inch away from caving, which is terrifying. What about you?”

 

“Just pot since the accident. Before that I was kind of all over the place. Well, before Peter. Trying to follow in your tabloid footsteps, I guess.” Ruby places the joint in the cigarette box and returns the top, grabbing Regina’s wrist to bring the lit one back to her lips in lieu of taking it herself. “I was stuck in Storybrooke with crappy resources for most of that time, though. When I got to Washington, things picked up a bit.”

 

“What did you study there?”

 

“Business Management. I was half-assing it. I like school, but I don’t think I’m really meant for it.”

 

“How did you go from that to a Liberal Arts school?”

 

“Well, I was too late to get into Portland, and I didn’t trust myself to come back to Storybrooke and not be in school. Figured I had to force myself to socialize.”

 

“You’re shockingly pragmatic following a trauma.”

 

“Apparently. But I really do like it. I’m just a bit… lost. Not sure what I want to do tomorrow, let alone for the rest of my life.”

 

Another long drag before Regina passes the cigarette back, running her hand over Ruby’s thin tank top to feel the muscles of her stomach underneath. “So, what do you want for dinner already?”

 

“You’re relentless,” Ruby says with a laugh as she finishes off the smoke, stamping it out in the ashtray. “But, unfortunately for you, I’m also incredibly indecisive and stubborn. But I am easy to please.”

 

“Apparently.” Regina smirks as she watches the colour rise from Ruby’s neck to her cheeks, a delightful pink flush she hopes she can always manage to bring up no matter how comfortable the other woman gets in her presence. She reaches up to kiss her, standing on the balls of her feet before she turns to leave. “I’m going to change and then run to the store. Feel free to keep reading _The Grownup_. And I know you said you’re an awful cook, but maybe you can manage with making a personal pizza.”

 

“Setting the bar a little high there, Mills,” Ruby calls out as Regina turns to take the stairs, and she’s unable to stop the chuckle that reverberates through the upper hallway. She quickly changes into something more appropriate to be seen in, like jeans and a top. Even if there are plenty of citizens of this town who seem to enjoy shopping in their pyjamas, she refuses to become one. Even if Ruby is one of them. But she can’t stop herself from stalling before she leaves, walking in on the waitress in the living room once more to interrupt her reading with another kiss.

 

“Please don’t run away,” she murmurs against her lips, only half joking.

 

“Please don’t keep driving,” Ruby responds just as quickly, holding Regina’s head close to her own and kissing her until she’s good and ready to stop. Their shared anxiety over a twenty minute trip to the grocery store shouldn’t feel endearing, but it is. That said, Regina figures she’ll skip this particular detail when she relays her weekend step by step like Kathryn will undoubtedly want.

 

She takes her time away in the grocery store to mull over how, exactly, to invite Ruby away next weekend, unequipped with traditional relationships and courting means from her past disaster attempts at them. Regina’s not used to being nervous around people, a feeling she imagines Ruby is also struggling with judging by her admission over breakfast. They’re both used to bullshitting and have forgotten to act like normal people without it. Ruby has some advantages over her, though, whether she knows it or not. Clearly her relationship with Peter had indeed been healthy, even if her discomfort with Regina’s being a woman is apparent. When they curled up on the couch the night before it was Regina who was struggling with what to do with her hands, with how to relax into Ruby’s frame behind her.

 

It’s been bothering her all day: her inability to cuddle. Something that has been brought up to her before from everyone from girlfriends to Kathryn, the stiff-backed pose she falls into when someone leans on her. It took the woman years before she could hug the blonde back properly, well into their college days living together for her to eventually learn to relax into her presence. Ruby didn’t seem to notice, perhaps because Regina had fallen into her habit of endless talking in favour of allowing a silence to linger. She can do that when Ruby’s not within reaching distance, but the moment they returned to the bed the previous evening her verbal vomit had kicked in. To be fair to herself, it had also been an attempt to lull an obviously anxious Ruby into feeling more comfortable with the situation, but Regina can’t deny her own self-preservation instincts when she can spot them so easily.

 

Regina doesn’t like being bad at things. And being bad at giving affection seems like a personality flaw. One of those deeply rooted ones that stem from childhood trauma. She wants to touch Ruby, there was no lie there. She really does want to keep touching her and fuck her until she can’t breathe, it’s too addictive not to want. And, in turn, Regina wants to be touched by Ruby with the same kind of fervour, which she shows in spades when she finds her confidence. But just sitting with her is… unnerving. God, what if she gets bored? Ruby can make all the jokes about being some manic pixie dream girl cliché, but she’s far closer to the role than Regina is. Storybrooke has prematurely aged her. It calms her in a way that makes a night out more than enough of a vacation from the tedium, because that tedium is helping actually build a life for herself. Regina barely wants nights out anymore, but she can’t bring herself to believe that Ruby, with her palpable energy, will truly be happy living with the same mindset.

 

Ruby’s eager smile puts her at ease when she walks in the door, the fact that she’s so eager to respond helping Regina feel more calm about her endless talking. They’re still new, she tells herself as she watches Ruby knead dough, and damaged and of course it will take time for them to get comfortable. For her to get comfortable. So when they set themselves up on the couch that night, Regina tries to take the pressure off herself by taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch from Ruby, turned to face her as they settle themselves under the blanket. She can settle herself between Ruby’s legs and enjoy an evening running her hands up and down toned calves as she wills herself to allow silences to linger. They’re watching a movie, after all, _Sabrina_ , it’s one of her favourites. And it’s hard to pull more than a one word reply from the girl whenever Audrey Hepburn is on the screen, a cue Regina keeps telling herself to just take.

 

Thankfully her counterpart is a good sport about it, whether she picks up on the nervous tic or not. She’s good about keeping up the conversation, though she’s practically methodic in her ability to avoid any kind of deep or even personal topics. Apparently they’ll be having those talks few and far between, or at least at set intervals, which seems fair. Regina tries to return the favour, keeps those probing questions away from the front of her mind despite her desperate need to know what makes this other woman tick. Regina’s not patient enough for regular relationships, it seems. She has an intense need to crack open the mysteries of Ruby’s sexuality, of her seemingly dark past. Regina just wants to know everything now, she wants to risk-access to see where that kind of mess can actually lead them when combined with her own.

 

“Can I ask,” Ruby begins as the credits of their movie start to roll, her hand freezing from its motion of stroking up and down Regina’s shin, “I mean, I know… we should just be stupidly honest with each other when we can be, right? Forgo any sense of embarrassment considering our circumstance?”

 

“I do appreciate efficiency,” Regina nods, turning her attention from the Netflix menu to the brunette, whose eyes stay on her until she speaks again.

 

“I just… again, no patronizing bullshitting, please, but, as someone who recently admitted to doing orgasms _wrong_ I need to know if, you know – it was… good this morning, right? The shower just kind of creates a bit of an echo chamber and I am just not used to being nervous about sleeping with someone. But you were kind of… an unnerving choice for my first time with a woman.”

 

There’s something about Ruby at least putting to words that she’s had sex with a woman that fills Regina with a glimmer of hope about her closeted identity, though there’s a part of Regina that’s suggesting she should be more worried that Ruby can admit to sleeping with a woman while remaining completely and obstinately oblivious to her own sexuality. Regina shifts in her spot and smiles at Ruby before turning her attention back to the TV. “I’m not that good an actress, Ruby.”

 

“So… no tips?”

 

“Isn’t the fun supposed to be practising until you know you’re good?”

 

“I’m nervous about practising.”

 

“Are you?” Regina’s eyes return to her and Ruby blinks at the renewed scrutiny, becoming bashful under her gaze.

 

“You’re... intimidating.”

 

“Am I?”

 

“Are you fucking with me right now?”

 

Regina laughs and drops the small remote in her hand to put both on the waitress’ legs. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be. Especially not in bed. Or in the shower, or on the couch, or wherever we end up. Ruby, you know what you’re doing. Don’t try to trick yourself into thinking otherwise.”

 

Ruby seems to deflate at the statement, relaxing deeper into the cushions and curling her hands around Regina’s ankles. “Okay.”

 

“You were so confident and flirty when I met you in the diner.”

 

“Well, that was before I knew this could actually go anywhere. I’m great at flirting with people who I don’t think I have a shot with.”

 

Another laugh and a pause before Regina snaps to attention. “I was supposed to ask you if you wanted to come for dinner tomorrow, at Kathryn’s.”

 

She seems genuinely interested for a moment, but her half-smile falls. “I have to work tomorrow night. I said I could be late, but–”

 

“Another time,” Regina reassures, though she can feel herself hesitate before she continues on, her eyes now darting away under the pressure of her next suggestion, trying to bite back that nagging fear of relationships that’s jumping up and demanding attention. “We are going away this weekend. Not _away_ , just to the lake. My family’s place up there. For her husband’s birthday. You’re welcome to– I’d like it if you came with us. For a night or the weekend or whatever you can find time for.”

 

Ruby’s lips turn upwards into the same coy smile Regina remembers from their first meeting, the fingers wrapped around her ankle sliding up her leg as Ruby sits up to speak. “I would like that very much.”

 

Matching her position, Regina’s hands rise from under the blanket to slide through Ruby’s red-streaked hair and bring her in for a kiss. So, that went well. One relationship point for Regina. Ruby’s lips are sweetened from the wine they had with dinner, the toffee they had after, and her own hands appear from their cover so she can catch hold of Regina’s shoulders, trying to keep her in place when the older woman leans away.

 

“Let’s go to bed and see if you can have some fun practising.”

 

Ruby’s smile splits across her face and she reaches for the television remote to turn it off. Regina doesn’t have to worry about cuddling when she and Ruby can just collapse in a heap of sweaty limbs and turn off, and she leaves that as her mission statement for the rest of the evening. It’s one of her better plans, one that allows her to see her counterpart tumble over the edge again and again, one that gives Ruby a chance at an equal playing field so she can exceed expectations once more. When Regina returns from the bathroom with a requested glass of water for the waitress, she finds the younger woman already asleep, providing her with an out without even realizing it, the same way she had the night before by admitting her own nervousness to actually _sleeping_ with someone.

 

Regina slides onto the mattress next to her, turning on her side to pull the covers up from where they’ve been kicked to the bottom of the bed to their hips. This had been their position the previous night, on their stomachs, face-to-face, but Regina hadn’t been given the time to look at the girl without her looking back. So Regina enjoys the moment until her eyes drift closed, listening to the quiet sounds of Ruby’s breathing while her hand stretches across her back so Regina’s thumb can blindly run along the scar that jitters across her ribs with each movement Ruby makes. Regina shifts closer until her lips are pressed against her shoulder, congratulating herself silently for having made it two fulls days in another woman’s sapphic presence for the first time in years.

 

She wakes in the morning to an empty bed, but Regina soon finds comfort in the appearance of the brash red backpack sitting by her dresser. She can hear the door open downstairs the second before she cranks the water on in the shower, and as she steps under the warm downpour and waits for the telltale sound of the girl entering the bathroom, Regina can’t help but think she’s going to want to keep this a part of their regular morning traditions, should those develop past the weekend. The day seems to go by in an instant, Regina’s left wondering how she goes from feeling Ruby’s wind-chilled body pressed against hers in the shower to standing at the back door with the girl, stalling as they linger on their goodbye.

 

“When can I see you next?” Regina asks, because it seems like it’s in her best interest to let the ball land in Ruby’s court as often as possible, to let her set the pace for this clusterfuck of a relationship they’re hopefully settling into.

 

“I work tomorrow morning, but I only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays now.”

 

“Well, you know my office hours until five, but if you wanted to come over in the afternoon to hang out while I’m not here, you’re more than welcome to. You’ll have more opportunity to look around,” she slides her arms around Ruby’s waist, even if it’s going to make it much harder to disengage soon, “but I’ll save you the search and just tell you to check out the office and my bedside table.”

 

“So unoriginal,” Ruby chastises, shifting the backpack on her shoulder before moving to hold Regina’s cheeks. The kiss is too leading for a goodbye parting, but Ruby cuts it short before she can linger too long. “I’ll come over tomorrow then.”

 

“Goodbye, Ruby,” she murmurs after another press of their lips, opening her eyes as the young woman takes a step backwards.

 

“Goodbye, Regina.”

 

She grateful she can immediately leave her now Ruby-less house as soon as it has been emptied, dreading returning to the empty bed more than she dreads physical intimacy outside of a bed. Kathryn doesn’t mind when she turns up early, Jim doesn’t blink when she walks through the front door, drops her keys, and helps herself to the white wine that’s already been opened on the counter.

 

“You know, Regina, I never thought you had it in you, but Ruby Lucas?” Jim lets out a low whistle as he continues to dice up potatoes while Kathryn tends to setting a dry rub on the four steaks laid out. “I’m disappointed you didn’t bring her, I wanted to see if I was misremembering how hot she is, but Kat assures me I’m not.”

 

Regina raises her finger to allow herself a pause while she downs half a glass of wine before speaking. “Have you slept with her?”

 

“I have not, unfortunately. Hate to say that I could have if I wanted to, but it’s definitely true.” His sea-green eyes glance up quickly, as Regina’s scrutinize him. “She wasn’t sleeping with every guy who asked or anything, we just got along pretty well and she hung out with my friends a lot. And slept with some of them. A perfectly reasonable amount for a teenage boy, so, you know, fair game to her.”

 

“So you were close?”

 

“Not really. Ruby was always at parties, but I think the only person she ever spent time with was Mary Margaret.” Regina racks her brain to put a face to the somewhat familiar name. “Blanchard. The old mayor’s daughter. Black hair. Blue eyes.”

 

“Right.” She could remember brief meetings with the mayor, happening occasionally when her parents would get roped into such local events during their vacations. Hair black as midnight with a cherub face, an odd combination outside of a children’s movie. Regina turns her attention to direct it towards both of them, setting her glass down on the island as she leans over to steal a sliced carrot. “Is it weird if I try to pump your husband for information on her?”

 

“Beyond that of her sex life?” Jim asks, earning a laugh from his wife. “Where do you draw the line, exactly?”

 

“I don’t know. She’s happy to admit she used to sleep around, it doesn’t seem like prying. Do you know anything about her life? Is that weird?”

 

“Probably,” Kathryn replies bluntly.

 

“No weirder than asking anyone if they know anything about the person you’re dating,” Jim counters before he looks back to the dark-haired woman. “I didn’t really know her until high school, but I remember her mother when I was younger. Town lush. But she checked out at some point, Ruby lived at the Inn for as long as I remember.”

 

“She said she left when she was about thirteen.”

 

Jim shrugs and nods as if that adds up, but it’s Kathryn who responds as she scrubs her hands under the sink. “So, obviously she’s not here.”

 

“She had to work. But she’s coming to the lake this weekend.”

 

“A weekend away already?” Jim asks with a laugh, tossing his potatoes onto sheets of aluminum paper before reaching for a bottle of oil. “Definitely lesbians.”

 

Regina tosses what remains of her carrot at the brunette but Kathryn nudges her hip as she steps around her while holding the plate of meat she has prepared and out onto the patio, the large French doors open to the kitchen. “I’d think you’d be happy at such confirmation.”

 

“Fuck off.” Regina follows her into the sun.

 

“Well, you look happy.”

 

“Recently fucked,” Jim adds as he curls the edges of his tinfoil sheets until they’re tented over. “Suits you. Been awhile.”

 

“I still have to buy you a birthday present, I would be nicer to me.”

 

“I was being sincere,” he counters as he joins them, watching Kathryn lay the steaks out on the open heat of the grill. “Despite my surprise at who you’ve chosen, I’m glad you managed to find someone. Especially in town. Even if it’s under incredibly sketchy circumstances.”

 

“Well… thank you.”

 

“So, what’s the plan?” Kathryn asks as she walks back into the kitchen to grab her own glass of wine before taking a seat at the outdoor patio set.

 

“Secret affair, naturally,” she replies as she joins her friend.

 

“Good woman. But no emails. Or texts. Hell, don’t let her take her phone out of the tower range in town, that Dean will get you if he smells even a whiff of story around you.”

 

“I know it. Would it be sketchy or sweet to buy her a burner phone?” The married couple responds at the same time, though they both give different answers. Regina smiles as it turns into a debate amongst the two, leaning back in her seat and blinking as she looks up at the sky. She’s content, possibly for the first time in a decade, and that fills her with a strange sense of bubbling excitement and fear that she tries to stamp down with a large gulp of wine. Regina tries to focus on the upcoming weekend instead, biting her lip as she glances over at her friends and thinks how wonderful it will be to spend three days with them and her new… person she’s seeing.

 

* * *

 

Granny is very clearly weirded out. She keeps sending her sideways glances, watching Ruby over the edge of her glasses as she glides through the restaurant front with an unerring smile. She’s suspicious of this happy Ruby and she has every right to be. Not that Granny will pry into why, but her granddaughter knows that it’s killing her to see such a rapid transition with very little reason as to why. They close out the night with little talk, though, not breaking their silence until the door has been locked and the tables wiped down.

 

“Had a good weekend?”

 

“I did.”

 

“I’m glad.”

 

“My friends were hoping I could go away with them next weekend, too.”

 

“Where?”

 

“Just up to the lake.”

 

“If one of the other girls can take your Sunday shift. Shouldn’t be a problem, you know they prefer the weekends.”

 

“Thank you.” Granny freezes from her spot at the register, the receipts in her hands stilling. God, how awful is Ruby that a simple act of courtesy makes her own grandmother implode? “Just… for being so understanding about work.”

 

“Well, I told you that you came back too soon. You should have been reconnecting with people during the summer when they had time.” The waitress hates how right she is. How amazing would things be if she had met Regina at the beach in July instead of the day before school? Then again, if she hadn’t been working, she might not have met her at all. “Mary Margaret’s been in here three times looking for you. She’s always been a good kid.”

 

“I just wanted to say thank you,” Ruby says through a sigh. She doesn’t like how much her grandmother is bringing up her childhood friend, the uneasy feeling that there’s something behind it that they’re both unwilling to talk about seeming too duplicitous for Granny. But it’s there. Not to mention the plain guilt she feels every time she remembers that she’s promised to see the girl.

 

“She just lives two blocks down, you know. I’m surprised you don’t run into her more.”

 

“Well, unless I’m actually running, I’m not out on the town too much.”

 

“Then where have you been?”

 

Ruby blinks but doesn’t allow herself to stumble for a moment in her mopping, knowing Granny’s hawk-like eyes are undoubtedly scrutinizing her every move. “Hanging out with Whale, mostly. I mean, I’m out, but just at The Rabbit Hole. Guess it’s not Mary Margaret’s scene.”

 

“Maybe you should change your scene. You might meet more people than Victor Whale.”

 

Ruby tosses the mop into the bucket and walks it over to the corner, reaching around to untie her apron as she heads towards the laundry room. “Well, I have homework. Goodnight.”

 

Her grandmother returns the well wishes before Ruby can slip away upstairs to her room. There’s no visitors this week, the halls are empty as she climbs past them up to the attic level and unlocks her door – a habit that stems less from the fact that she’s lived with strangers for half her life than the fact that she’s lived with her grandmother for just as long. She does have homework she should be focusing on, midterms to start preparing for, papers to writer, but Ruby can’t possibly focus on it. She’s stuck in front of her bathroom mirror, her crisp white shirt unbuttoned down to the edge of her bra so she can take in the sight of mouth-sized bruises that are fading on her neck. Her fingers press against the discoloured skin, nails digging in to simulate the feel of Regina’s teeth dragging across her body.

 

Drinking will only get her going, so she digs into the sticky oil Jefferson had left her, scraping some off and tossing it on top of a bowl of weed. She has to remind herself to light an incense, though there’s likely little reason: Granny knows of her vices, knows they used to be a lot worse than pot and the occasional binge weekend. Which is a lie, Ruby’s been drinking daily, usually in far larger doses than this weekend combined. But, one step at a time. As long as she doesn’t leave the room smelling like cigarettes, Granny doesn’t particularly raise any issues. And she has a new vice to focus on now, perhaps her liver will catch a break. Her lungs are screwed for now, though.

 

Ruby sits in the bathroom with the fan running (another superfluous defense mechanism), leaning against the bathtub, her eyes closed. She’s content. Such a bizarre feeling. The young woman knows she’ll be able to go to Regina’s tomorrow, she’ll be able to talk to her and kiss her. And eat dinner with her. God, she wishes she could cook. What can she cook? Tacos. Ruby can manage tacos. Does Regina like tacos? She’s Cuban, she can’t hate them. _Oh, god, stop being racist_ , she chastises in her mind. Ruby puts her pipe down and breathes out her last smoke-laced breath, her mind hazy and smile dopey as she thinks about Regina’s reaction to her prejudiced internal monologues.

 

She doesn’t get much work done until later in the night, when she’s struggling to fall asleep and gives up the effort of trying to turn off her mind. Putting it to good use seems to be a better choice, and Ruby is aware that after two nights of being spoiled by the soothing warmth of Regina’s body wrapped around hers, she’s more than likely screwed tonight. She pours herself a reasonable glass of whiskey to try knock herself out, reading two chapters ahead of the class for English and lining out her Art History midterm paper. Ruby’s happy to fall asleep at two-thirty in the morning when she has something to show for it in the morning. When she wakes, she’s in the mood for being productive and as soon as the breakfast rush dies down, Ruby takes to dealing with all the nitpicky things that have been sticking out to her in the last few months: organizing their drawers of deposit slips and order forms, switching around the baked goods so they’re sorted into proper categories, wiping down the chalkboard sign they display outside and spending a half hour writing “OPEN” in deep, bold letters before designing a new template for the daily specials on the other side, though she has to wait until after lunch for her last task.

 

Granny doesn’t say much today, just gives quiet commands when she has to before reminding Ruby that her shift is over as the clock reaches three. The waitress is glad to have had the day pass so quickly, barely mumbles a goodbye to Granny before she’s depositing her apron in the laundry room and skipping up to her room. She changes her clothes and washes her hands and face before finding her best perfume to try to dampen the smell of working with food all day. When she’s satisfied that she doesn’t smell like tuna melts anymore, Ruby gathers her laptop, notebooks, her novel for English, and a change of clothes into her backpack, double checking to see if she has a phone charger before she slips back down the stairs and out the back door to the parking lot. She debates parking her car down the street from Regina’s, but thinks better of it, deciding that more peace of mind will be worth the trade-off of twenty minutes of time she’ll lose with Regina in the morning.

 

The house is quiet when she enters through the back door, having slipped in the yard through the alleyway once again. Ruby straightens her shoes and goes all the way upstairs to drop her backpack off and tuck it away behind the nightstand. She never once caught Regina tidying during her weekend here, but messes seemed to have vanished whenever Ruby returned to them. Regina’s the kind of person who makes their bed every day, for no reason other than to have it made, apparently. And it’s another small symbol of maturity that frightens Ruby enough to duck out of the bedroom quickly and head back downstairs. In her time to kill before Regina has to return, Ruby goes over the contents of the fridge and pantry to check for something to make, only to be confronted with more horrific adultness: her kitchen is fully stocked. With fresh vegetables and everything. No ground beef, but there’s everything Ruby needs to make a stir-fry. Her high school home economics class has paid off in a few basic recipes, but she’s never had the option to include spices like the recipes always call for.

 

She has it simmering and almost cooked through when Regina enters, having spent her time cleaning up any trace of a mess she’s made preparing. She feels a little neurotic as she hears the approaching footsteps of her former professor, unable to stop herself from fretting over the idea that the invitation Regina had given to come over without her presence had been a nicety she wasn’t meant to take seriously. But the dark-haired woman looks relieved when she rounds the corner and spots Ruby, her lips expanding and contracting before they settle on a lovely smile. She doesn’t waste any time before stepping around the island to pull Ruby close to her, kissing her soundly and pressing her back against the counter. The waitress can’t get over the feel of soft curves pressing against her, of full lips enveloping her own. It’s still intoxicating and heady and it leaves Ruby without recourse when Regina’s kisses start to travel across her cheek.

 

“I’m so glad you’re here,” she murmurs against Ruby’s jaw, her hands pushing up the front of her shirt to skim her hands over the fluttering muscles of Ruby’s stomach and over her breasts. Ruby can feel her knees go weak, her hands resorting to gripping the edge of the counter behind her as Regina’s lips wrap around her earlobe. “You’re all I could think about all day.”

 

“S’gonna burn,” Ruby manages, jerking her head towards the stove in a motion that just allows Regina more access to her neck, something she takes full advantage of. Her hands squeeze before they drop to Ruby’s shorts, twisting the button free.

 

“I’ll be quick.” Regina’s promise is sealed with another rousing kiss but she makes good on it, cupping Ruby through her underwear and grinding her hand against her until Ruby’s whining against her mouth. She makes fast work of Ruby, pressing two fingers into her and rocking against her body until there’s the tender beginnings of a dark bruise forming across Ruby’s back. Once again, Regina’s mouth wanders elsewhere, forcing the younger woman to try to bury her face in Regina’s neck or allow her embarrassing noises to be heard. “All day,” she murmurs once more after Ruby’s moans have reached their fevered peak, her muscles spasming against and around Regina.

 

The veggies in the wok barely have a sear on them when Regina disengages from a post-orgasm Ruby, who if left gasping at the counter as Regina stirs the contents and then proceeds to rinse her hand in the sink. She’s perfectly blasé as she steps around the kitchen, dropping a kiss against Ruby’s cheek as she passes her, and Ruby vaguely picks up Regina mentioning something about how horrible the previous night had been without her there. But her eyes are blinking into focus as she registers the time on the clock, at the few minutes that had gone by since Regina’s arrival. No frustration, no need for herself to take over, no dragged out moments of having to instruct: she doesn’t get it. She can’t perfect it herself, she has no idea how Regina can drag these vicious orgasms out of her and act as if it’s a perfectly normal performance. Her muscles twitch, looking for the feel of phantom fingers and Ruby has to let out a jittering breath before stumbling towards the table as Regina insists she sit down to be served.

 

“I know we don’t exactly have a large tab wracked up, but I can’t help but feel like… I don’t reciprocate enough.” They said they would be stupidly honest with each other, and focusing on her own deficiencies is by far the safest talking point. Ruby has plenty of knowledge in this topic, can mine it without getting too deep. She hopes.

 

Regina just smiles in return, working down a mouthful of chicken and following it with a sip of wine. “Well, plenty of time to even things out. But… I guess I’ve never found relationships between women to work that way. The “it’s my turn now” obligation that seems to pop up with men if they haven’t had their big finish. It’s not about not wanting it, it’s about not expecting it just because. It’s definitely not about not wanting it. I just want and… very much enjoy… watching you.”

 

“Trying real hard to not make that sound creepy, aren’t you?”

 

“I sure am, Red.” The nickname, for whatever reason, makes Ruby blush inexplicably. Her counterpart spares her this once, ignoring the reaction in favour of asking a question. “So what particular thing did you enjoy most this weekend?”

 

“Well, it’s going to be pretty shitty if I don’t say the same thing, isn’t it? Just to warn you though, my obvious lack of confidence in that arena isn’t going to garner that kind of answer.”

 

“Hey,” Regina begins as she stabs a sliver of green pepper with her fork, “no expectations and obligations, remember?”

 

Ruby pushes her own plate forward – it’s over-seasoned and Regina’s being polite by not mentioning it – finding herself more in need of a drink than legitimate sustenance for this round of questioning. “I want, and very much enjoy,” Regina’s lips quirk up at the jab, “when we’re… touching. You know, full contact. Preferably naked, but that’s not a necessarily requirement for my enjoyment.”

 

Regina’s smile doesn’t drop but sobers noticeably enough for Ruby to hold her breath as she awaits the follow-up. “Well, I’m not sure if it’s particularly obvious, but I lack some self-confidence in that particular arena.”

 

“Being naked?” Ruby can’t help but ask in a wary, incredulous voice.

 

“Well, sometimes – when I’m your company.” Ruby scoffs but she can feel her cheeks tinting pink once more as Regina doesn’t humour her with a tone that’s anything less than serious and reverent. “But I meant the full contact, prolonged touching. Naked or otherwise.”

 

“Regina Mills isn’t a confident cuddler?”

 

Her own plate clean, the older woman just lets out a laugh and gathers up her utensils before standing. But the brunette can’t help but feel charmed by the hint of bashfulness as Regina avoids her eyes. “Most aspects of relationships allude me, if I haven’t made that clear.”

 

“It’s kind of a relief,” Ruby admits as she follows her, scraping what remains of her plate into the garbage disposal and following Regina’s cue of dropping it off in the dishwasher before picking up her wine again.

 

“What is?”

 

“That we both have intimacy issues to get over. And that the solution to them is to spend hours in bed together. Naked or otherwise.”

 

Regina smiles and motions for Ruby to drain her glass as she does so she can refill them. “Well, here’s hoping you don’t have any homework tonight. We have plans.”

 

A laptop is set up at the end of the bed to play as a background distraction, but it blurs into nothingness as Ruby watches Regina re-enter the bedroom from her brief diversion. She’s unbuttoning her shirt, her slacks already forgotten on the floor, but she’s brought up Jefferson’s joint, finishing off her buttons before lighting the end. It’s a vision Ruby won’t forget, a looping film reel as the older woman breathes out smoke and slides onto the bed with one hand.

 

“What are we watching?”

 

Ruby blinks and glances at the laptop, finding the actor on the screen familiar but currently unnameable. She had just pressed whatever popped up first in Regina’s continue watching category and then promptly became distracted. The young woman shakes her head as an offer of explanation and her eyes return to Regina’s form, her shirt falling open and a spliff hanging from her lips, looking like she’s in a scene in some rapper’s video. She accepts the joint as it’s pressed to her lips, the sweet brown sugar flavour of the paper on the tip of her tongue, the sweet taste of that maple hash filling her mouth as she breathes in deeply. Watching with rabid interest as the raven-haired woman’s blouse is tossed to the floor, followed by her bra.

 

“Well,” Regina continues as she takes it back and reaches behind her and sits the the joint on the edge of an ashtray that seems to have appeared from nowhere, “you’re the expert layabout. What do I do now?”

 

 _Be witty_. It’s probably not a good sign to her own wit that she has to prompt it out of herself like this. “No educated guesses?”

 

A laugh echoes through the room, sounding far more crisp and clear than the audio in the background, and Regina’s hand comes up to tug on Ruby’s t-shirt. When Ruby finally gets around to evening out the score, Regina’s reclining back against the headboard overtop of the covers, naked as the day she was born and taking another hit, eyes greedily taking in the view much the same way Ruby is. Her head is spinning, like it’s her first time getting high, her first time in bed with someone else, but the sight of Regina lazily sucking in a hit pulls her back after a hard blink. She crawls across the short space between them on the bed and kisses Regina with a slow, reverent pressure, stealing the smoke from her mouth.

 

“I’m fine with kissing, but I assumed we were meant to be talking,” Regina murmurs, depositing the joint once more so her fingers can slide through her hair.

 

Ruby grins and kisses her again before settling along Regina’s side, settling her head on the woman’s shoulder and breathing in the heady scent of her perfume. She smells like violets and blackberries, a sweet raspberry undertone clinging to her and mixing with the cloying smell of high grade marijuana. Their hands are roaming, Regina having slipped hers behind Ruby’s back, trailing the other down her arm as Ruby takes to tracing patterns across Regina’s collarbone and chest. Whatever show is on the laptop at the foot of the bed is blessedly low-key, a quiet drama that’s not pulling focus from their lack of focus.

 

“I haven’t done this since I was a teenager.”

 

“That’s depressing.”

 

“Isn’t it? I wouldn’t have pegged you as the cuddling type, honestly.”

 

“The abandonment issues have turned me into a glutton for affection.” Regina laughs quietly, but Ruby can hear it echoing through her head, the rich sound filling her being for a brief moment. “Not too often, though. I mean, it depends on the person.”

 

“I think the only person I’ve come remotely close to cuddling with in the past decade has been Kathryn. But I’d say it was always more one-sided, she doesn’t care who her pillow is.”

 

Ruby’s hand slips from out of Regina’s reach, sliding down her sternum. “How was dinner?”

 

“Good. They were disappointed you couldn’t make it.”

 

“What’s her husband like?”

 

“Jim’s a sweetheart. You’ll like him.”

 

“I haven’t been to lake in years.”

 

“It’s a nice spot. My grandfather left it to me – I was his favourite. My mother was furious, so naturally that just adds to the charm.”

 

Ruby’s smile widens as her index finger continues down to circle around Regina’s naval. “Are we moving too fast? Going away for the weekend?”

 

“All of the other members of my lake cabin cult were usually just as easy to lure there, honestly.” Ruby turns her neck to bite Regina’s collarbone, and the nails grazing against her back dig in for a brief moment. “I think that’s just what it’s like with two women. Or two Gillian Flynn fans.”

 

“That’s good to know.” She’s the one who is supposed to be keeping this platonic, but she can’t help but bring her hand up to trace the underside of Regina’s breast, to hold its weight in her hand.

 

“When are you going to inform your friends about the extent of your affair?”

 

Her motions still and Ruby turns her head up to look at Regina. “You know I won’t, if you–”

 

“I wasn’t trying to be passive aggressive,” her fingers twitch to move across Ruby’s, prompting them to continue their motions, “I was just wondering.”

 

“Maybe I should see if we make it past our first trip together.”

 

“Prudent.”

 

Her thumb slides over Regina’s nipple, which perks at the attention, and it’s all Ruby can focus on even when her brain registers Regina leaning over, the increased potency of the pot smell. “Does Kathryn smoke weed?”

 

“Kathryn would probably smoke, ingest, or shoot-up anything you offer to her, at least once. But she’s usually more for uppers than downers.” She can feel Regina’s skin warming under her cheek, her increased heart rate, the more deliberate breaths. Her thumb and index pinch and squeeze, but Regina’s voice remains smooth. “What about you? Up for everything?”

 

“I firmly believe you should try everything once. Even if it takes me awhile to build up the nerve. Never had that problem with drugs, though.”

 

“Always gungho for a new high, huh?”

 

Ruby makes a sound of agreement but she finds herself to unable to stay idle any longer, foregoing the joint Regina holds out to her to slide down and take the nipple she had been toying with in her mouth, laving it with her tongue. Regina lets out a quiet groan and smoothes her hand over Ruby’s toned back, her legs shifting and interlocking with the younger woman’s. She takes her time licking, sucking, nibbling; dragging her teeth over the pale red flesh until it’s cherry red and gleaming, only looking back up to Regina when she lets out a particularly ragged breath. Her cheeks are pink and her eyes are cloudy, and the joint in her hand nearly drops its ash all over her bedspread before Ruby jerks the other woman’s wrist away towards the nightstand.

 

“I like how you cuddle,” Regina murmurs in a gravelly voice, her lips brushing across Ruby’s earlobe as she settles back from their near disaster.

 

“Well, we both have things to practice. It’s probably good that you’re an irresponsible drug addict, I was thinking about trying to go down on you, but that moment-ruiner was probably for the best. If I embarrass myself too much, too quickly, I won’t be able to face you again.”

 

“I guess we’ll build up to it.” Her hands empty, Regina tangles them in Ruby’s hair and pulls her down for another kiss. Ruby gives in and leans over, sucking on her lower lip which promptly curls into a smile. “Because there’s no way you’ll be bad at it.”

 

Ruby swoops down to kiss her again after she breaks away for her statement, sliding her thigh in-between Regina’s as she tries her best not to crush the woman while also trying to stay as close as humanly possible. Her knee slides up just barely as she shifts, and Regina’s immediate response is to press against it as the hand on Ruby’s back holds the girl’s hips close. She can feel her breath catch in her throat and it forces her to break their increasingly heated kiss as her hips give a cant forward as Regina repeats the movement. She feels lips on her chin as the older woman begins a rhythm of rocking against her, barely hears Regina ask her if this is alright.

 

A noise of agreement slips out of the back of her throat as she braces her elbows on either side of Regina’s head. The configuration might be new, but the motion? Ruby can do this. Ruby has perfected this, regardless of any disappointing partners who were underneath her. And now it’s Regina, with her reverence inspiring looks and slim, skillful thigh slipping up between hers, pulling her in for long, unscrupulous kisses. The position is intoxicating if slightly inefficient, but it works to Ruby’s advantage, allows her to stave off her normal, embarrassingly over-stimulated reaction to the woman. And her dominance, however shallow it may be, seems to provide her with some edge over Regina, whose laboured panting fills the room when she rips her mouth away from Ruby’s.

 

“I _really_ like the way you cuddle,” she breathes, earning her a a gravelly laugh that Ruby can’t suppress. The rest of their night is spent in bed, as is every other evening they spend together during the week. Ruby avoids Whale, though as far as Granny is concerned, they’re inseparable best friends. She does run into someone other than Regina, though, on Wednesday, when she has extra time to kill before the older woman lets her Film class out. She had gone to the campus early in the afternoon in order to force herself to focus, unable to do so at home when Granny won’t allow her shifts to go over a certain amount of hours a week. Upon leaving the old library, Ruby spots a shock of dark hair immediately, though she’s not disappointed when it’s not the head she’s seen nearly every night for a week.

 

She’s sitting in the middle of the grass, bright stacks of paper surrounding her, unnoticing of the blue pages that are picking up in the wind and flying free from their spot. Her eyes snap up when she hears Ruby approaching, a grateful smile spreading across her lips as she sees her gathering up the flyers.

 

“My hero.”

 

“I live to serve.” Ruby settles down, resting her phone on top of the rogue pile after she returns the other sheets to it. It’s an advertisement for some sort of mixer, but she averts her eyes the moment she spots a rainbow flag in the corner. “How are you, Mary Margaret?”

 

“I’m fine. Tired. I’m not the type of person who should be planning a party, that much is apparent.”

 

“Are you up for a coffee?” The way her eyes light up makes Ruby feel unbelievably guilty for blowing her off the last few weeks, enough so that she offers to pay for her counterpart’s mocha whatever. They settle at a table near the window of the small campus coffee shop, allowing Ruby the distraction of people watching when she needs it. “How’s your last first semester going?”

 

“Really, really well. I’m spending most of my time as a teacher’s assistant now, at elementary. They seem positive about giving me a chance at a spot next year. Their fourth grade teacher is due to retire.”

 

“Sticking with Storybrooke, huh?”

 

“I guess so. How about you? How are your random classes and aimless major going?”

 

Ruby laughs, thankful that Mary Margaret isn’t phony enough to talk about her situation like it’s anything more than it is. “Fine. I like them. I like school. I just…”

 

“You should switch to Portland next year. Most of their business classes are available at this campus.”

 

“That’s good to know. I might. Wasting money seems fun, too.”

 

“At least you can use the excuse that any education is technically not a waste of money.”

 

“If only the people who transferred credits felt the same way.”

 

“How have you been killing the time here, anyway? When I knew you, you couldn’t sit still.”

 

“Hanging out with Victor Whale mostly, as sad as that is.” Another smile blooms on her face as she watches her friend’s expression twist into something ugly and incredulous. “He’s a good drinking buddy. What do you do?”

 

“Oh, I drink, too.”

 

“Really? You never seemed to enjoy it when we went out to parties.”

 

“I didn’t. I thoroughly enjoy it when I drink at home, though.” Ruby laughs and takes another drink of her coffee, watching as Mary Margaret’s green eyes narrow in on her. “You should come over sometime. Elsa, Emma, and I have a place just down the street from Granny’s. I always feel outnumbered by blondes.”

 

“I’m busy this weekend, but I’d like that. Really, I would.”

 

“Good, because I miss you. I’ve been lost without a best friend.” Ruby’s own eyes fall down to her drink. “I thought Elsa was going to be a good replacement, you know. And she’s a great friend. But then I went and introduced her to Emma and it was like you could see little cupids flying around. Lost cause for me, she found her new buddy.”

 

“It’s not awkward living with them?”

 

“No. They’re cute and all that. The only bad part is Elsa’s attempts at trying to make us drink cosmos and watch _Sex and the City_ when we stay in. How is that not played out yet?”

 

“Please, like you’re not on Pinterest stealing drink ideas for theme nights.”

 

“Well, at least my methods are from this decade.”

 

Ruby feels the unfiltered smile split across her face, unable to stamp it down. Mary Margaret had always been good at that, at drawing a genuine laugh from Ruby no matter how deeply it was hidden. Her coffee is halfway gone and she’s lamenting it already. Why had she put this off for so long? “I really missed you, Mary Margaret. Five times a week I’d see or hear something and the first thing I’d think about doing was calling you to tell you about it.”

 

“You should have.”

 

“I know. I do. I was stupid. I think that near-fatal car accident knocked some of the self-destructiveness out of me.”

 

“Small favours.”

 

“So it would seem.”

 

“When Granny told me you’d be come back – about your accident, I looked up your name online. It… said your boyfriend died. I’m so sorry.”

 

Ruby waves it away and glances out the window to scrutinize a dark-haired girl across the campus, disappointed to not spot Regina in her place. “Yeah, well… yeah. I’ve been trying not to dwell. What about you? Watch any of your dates die?”

 

Mary Margaret smiles for her benefit but there’s no sarcastic joy hidden underneath. “I don’t think I go on enough of them to up the odds enough to see that happen.”

 

Her blue-green eyes fall on the tote bag by her former best friend’s feet, the one filled with an array of different coloured flyers. “So… you’re gay?”

 

“Oh yeah. Super gay.” She can’t help the burst of laughter that escapes her, earning her a genuine and easy smile from Mary Margaret. “It took me until… well, until the grad party to realize it.”

 

A flush rises from the bottom of her neck, her ears turning hot as Ruby tries to keep her voice from becoming strained. “Didn’t feel too hurt about losing David, huh?”

 

Mary Margaret shrugs, her own tone as annoyingly naked and passive as ever. “I just… after all that initial anger, I clued into who I was really jealous of, I guess.”

 

Ruby blinks but can’t bring herself to address the topic Mary Margaret’s dangling in front of her, can’t help but bite the inside of her cheek as she thinks about Regina. A sidestep seems best at the moment, but she does Mary Margaret the courtesy of meeting her gaze again. “I’m sure there’s no point in asking, but how did you dad take it?”

 

“Oh, good. You know, he was really supportive of it up until… he passed away last winter.”

 

“What?” A sinking feeling weighs down on Ruby’s chest as she thinks about Leopold Blanchard, the nice man who was as much a father to Ruby as she ever had. Half of her childhood and teenage years had been spent at his house, and no matter of how disapproving he grew of Ruby over the years, she was always welcomed. “What happened?”

 

“Lung cancer. It was… six months from diagnosis.”

 

“I never saw him with a cigarette.”

 

“Not a day in his life.” Mary Margaret takes a long drink of her coffee, her face resigned and calm. She was always the same when she would speak about her mother, who had gotten sick early in Mary Margaret’s life, spending half of it in a bed before passing away just after Mary Margaret’s tenth birthday. No one seemed able to accept hardships quite like she did. “Can’t get mad at cancer, though. It’s an indiscriminate hunter.”

 

“I wish I would have… if Granny had told me, I would have been here.”

 

“I told her not to.”

 

“Mary Margaret.” She has no right to chastise her. Literally none. Who is she to be angry that this person she cut off refused to reach out?

 

“It wasn’t a surprise when he died, Ruby. They told us immediately that there was likely no chance of recovery, so dad just wanted to spend his last few months in peace. I didn’t want to have to deal with people while dealing with myself. I moved in with him and after he died, Elsa and Emma helped me pack everything up and sell the house.”

 

“You didn’t want to keep it?”

 

“I didn’t want to live in the house where both my parents died. If ghosts want to haunt me, they can put in some legwork and find me themselves.”

 

Ruby smiles sadly, though it grows slightly genuine when she remembers having just caught Mary Margaret giving the same expression to her a few minutes earlier. Still, she can’t keep her throat from constricting slightly as she looks up again. “I’m so sorry. I should have been there.”

 

“You’re here now.”

 

As if that means anything, given the way she’s been avoiding this talk for a month now. Ruby swallows hard a few times, her mouth feeling dry as she forces herself to calm down and offer a long overdue olive branch. “Next weekend. Or whenever works for you. I promise, I’ll try to be less…”

 

“Evasive?”

 

“Yeah. I’m here. I’ll act like it. I want to.”

 

When they part, Mary Margaret hugs her for a moment that borders running on nearly too long before she finally lets go and walks away, Ruby frozen in spot until the other girl disappears from her line of sight. She can’t shake the guilty weight from her chest, not even as she slips into Regina’s empty house and upstairs, crawling under the covers and remaining there until the homeowner returns. She can hear Regina call her name, but she stays quiet as footsteps echo up through the hallway, continuing her stone-still position under the blankets as she enters her own bedroom.

 

“I saw your boots downstairs, I wasn’t sure if you had just left them. Long day?”

 

Ruby nods, feeling her throat tighten, and the smile drops from Regina’s face. She undoes a heavy bangle on her wrist and drops it to the nightstand before she lifts the duvet and slides underneath it, her stocking-clad legs sliding across Ruby’s bare ones as she’s pulled close. Regina doesn’t pry when Ruby offers the vaguest information of her time spent on campus, sliding her hand up and down the younger woman’s back as they remain tangled under the covers for the better part of the night. Eventually, she manages to persuade Ruby out of bed for the sake of dinner, filling the time by discussing the film she had shown that day, _Beasts of the Southern Wild_.

 

“At least five minutes of class was devoted to teaching them how to pronounce the actress’ name.” Regina pauses after taking a bite of her penne, sizing Ruby up from across the table and leaving the girl to hold her breath as she waits for a probing question into her day. “Can I ask… why do you dress so differently for school?”

 

“Oh.” Ruby’s breath escapes her in a huff as she reaches for her wine, a sweet rosé from Regina’s never-ending supply. “I just… like dressing up, I guess. I bought nicer stuff than I usually wore in DC, and school seems like the only place for me to wear girly dresses around this town.”

 

“You should wear one this weekend. That red one you wore to my Film class on the first day. With the collar. She’ll probably try to steal it out of your bag before you leave.”

 

“I will take any and all Kathryn advice given.”

 

Ruby walks into Regina’s house late in the afternoon on Friday, a box of of different food and drink in her arms and her duffle bag hanging off her shoulder. The idea of meeting face-to-face with Kathryn again fills her with both excitement and dread. She likes her but she’s terrified of the blonde, of how she could undoubtedly be that annoying voice of reason who brings this whole thing crashing down only a week in. Has it only been a week since she kissed Regina on the hood of her car? Regina had mentioned a few times something about relationships between women seemingly going faster than heterosexual ones, but it had taken until this moment for Ruby to realize just how that could be so.

 

When Regina arrives, they don’t waste much time before leaving, Ruby ducking down in the seat in Regina’s Mercedes as they drive through the house-lined streets to the edge of town. “You’re far more cautious than I am,” the older woman remarks as the homes turn into trees, the road becoming canopied by the red and yellow leaves above.

 

“Do you think I’m being paranoid?”

 

“One of us probably should be. Makes sense that it’s the pothead.”

 

She smacks Regina’s arm, but acquiesces when her hand is grabbed to hold over the centre console. “Is your place right on the lake?”

 

“It is. We have our own little bay.”

 

“What do you do out there?”

 

“Me? Read, mostly. My grandfather had a great library he built over the years, I’ve been trying to expand to it.” She nods to the backseat, where a box of books sits. Ruby had seen her grab it from her office. “Hoping to make my through what’s there before I do.”

 

“How close are you?”

 

“One row out of a dozen or so.”

 

It’s a beautiful lake house, a long paved driveway leading up to a colonial era home, complete with the wraparound deck and shutters. It’s painted a stark white that looks fresh, the landscaped yard looking as it it’s an oil painting Ruby’s about to walk right into. But the door is real when Regina turns it, opening to a bright, open main floor. The shining black Mustang out front announces Kathryn’s arrival before they enter, but it’s her husband who greets them in the kitchen as they set down their things.

 

“Jimmy Fields!” Ruby nearly drops the box in her arms, barely shoving it onto the kitchen island before she runs up to throw her arms around him. He still looks the same as he did in high school, now seeming complete with filled out muscles that wrap around Ruby.

 

“ _Jimmy?_ ” Regina asks from behind them.

 

“I rebranded in college,” he replies with a laugh as he sets Ruby down, holding up his left hand to showcase the gold wedding band. “Changed the last name, too.”

 

“Well,” a voice interrupts, causing the trio to turn their heads towards the living room, where Kathryn is entering from the deck, “I wasn’t going to be Kathryn Fields. Sounds like the name of some boring ass brunette lead in a medical drama. I won't have it.”

 

“You just like the alliteration on your stationary,” her best friend states sardonically.

 

“Thankfully my parents weren’t shortsighted enough to give me a middle name that also starts with a ‘K’. So.” The blonde comes to stop in front of them, and it’s only then that Ruby clues into the fact that she’s still wrapped around the woman’s husband. “So, what was he like in school?”

 

“Manwhore,” Jim responds before she can.

 

“Please,” Ruby scoffs in return. “You could have been if you put the effort into it. All the girls loved you. But he was shy,” her eyes meet Kathryn’s again, “and sweet. He was the sober kid driving people home at parties.”

 

“See, I knew you were a loser. All of those hockey trophies mean nothing if you didn’t have any game.” Kathryn pinches Jim arm as she walks around him, her eyes scouring the box Ruby had dropped on the island. “Well, keep up that charm, help the women with their bags.”

 

“I’ll take the bags,” Regina insists as Jim starts towards her, reaching down to grab the duffel bag Ruby had dropped. “But if you would be so kind as to grab the books out of my backseat and bringing them up to the office?”

 

“Anything for the woman who keeps my wife happy.” They’re gone before Ruby can clue into the fact that she and Kathryn have now been left alone, a fact that seems to leave the blonde at ease judging by the predatory look in her eye as Ruby turns to face her.

 

“So, you took the plunge.” Ruby can’t tell if it’s a statement or a question, but Kathryn spares her by speaking first before she can open her own stupid mouth and ask for validation. “I’m glad. It should prove to be interesting at the very least.”

 

Ruby takes a breath, reaching into the box she had brought and pulling out the banana bread she had asked Granny to make special for her. “I bring bread along with my circus.”

 

The blonde’s face splits into a wicked grin as she proceeds to unload the rest of the contents. “I suppose we should get to know each other better, then. Questions? Concerns?”

 

“Can I ask what kind of law you practise?”

 

“Wow, Regina’s out of the room and _that_ is the burning question on the forefront of your brain?”

 

Ruby gives an embarrassed laugh, looking down at the smooth quartz countertop. “Well… fair enough. How many other girls has she brought here for a weekend away?”

 

Kathryn seems pleased with the more in-depth question, blue eyes narrowed in on Ruby. “You’re the first, to my knowledge.”

 

“Well, that’s all I have as far as probing, insecure questions go. So, law. Keeping the bad guys in or helping them get out?”

 

“Nothing as exciting as that. Civil litigation.”

 

“That must be interesting, though.”

 

“It can be,” Kathryn responds as she eyes up the bottle of cream liqueur, setting it aside and pulling out the raspberry flavoured vodka. She pulls out a large orange can, holding it up with a curious look directed at Ruby.

 

“Grapefruit beer. With a shot of the vodka. It seemed like a good drink for the last nice weekend of the year.”

 

She gives a look of consideration before opening one of the cupboards and grabbing a couple of glasses, sticking them both under the ice crusher and popping open the cans as Ruby pours the clear booze into the cups. They’re taking their first drinks when Regina returns from upstairs, having clinked their rims together before taking it.

 

“Your gal pal is trying to get me drunk, Regina, better watch out.”

 

“If she showed any interest in blondes, I would, , thankfully, she has good taste.” Her hands slide across the counter as she comes to stand next to Ruby, nodding towards their drinks. “Where do I get one?”

 

It’s so ridiculously easy, socializing. It never has been before, at least not in the traditional sense. Ruby could adopt a social role well enough in the years leading up to the accident. But that persona had become grating in recent years, a reason for it to be dropped almost altogether when she’s not in an apron. The appearance of Jimmy – _Jim_ , helps exponentially, draws out the old cordial Ruby without forcing her to actually step into the character. When Kathryn suggests Monopoly and is followed by twin rejections from the two people closest in her life, Ruby manages to score points by enthusiastically agreeing that a relationship-testing game would probably be a good early evaluation of whether or not the stress will be worth it. It’s unbelievably nice to make an awkward joke that actually lands, to be among people whom she has less to hide from than she usually does.

 

Still, no matter how much she drinks, she feels jumpy whenever Regina touches her, whenever she watches Kathryn and Jim touch each other casually. It’s probably noticeable, but Regina doesn’t mention it, doesn’t push when Ruby’s hand twitches against her own. She just fills Ruby’s champagne glass as she gouges her for money at Marvin Gardens, refusing any deals Ruby offers with a wicked smirk that’s undoubtedly meant to remind her of her own folly for choosing such a game. Eventually the woman and her best friend are left to duel it out when neither will concede to a tie, leaving their romantic partners time on their own. Jim grabs another bottle of champagne before directing Ruby outside. The backyard of the property only stretches on a few yards before their feet meet sand, the two of them collapsing into two Adirondack chairs that are set up to look out at the water.

 

“I really like Kathryn,” she offers, watching as he pops the cork and refills their flutes before digging the bottle into the sand between them, stretching out his long legs.

 

“She’s a’ight.” She laughs loudly, the sound booming in the emptiness of the woods. Ruby can see him looking at her, but she’s too caught up with the reflection of the moon on the lake. That, and she already knows what’s coming next. “I never would have… imagined you, of all people, walking through that door with Regina. I don’t mind her, by the way.”

 

“She’s a’ight,” Ruby parrots, earning herself a chuckle. “I used… I used to have a crush on her. You know, the way younger girls do on older girls. Didn’t think this would ever come from it.”

 

“You just never seemed… interested. I mean, I think I can only picture you talking to… no, literally only one girl. Like, throughout the whole two years I knew you. Blanchard.” He’s definitely trying to catch her eye this time, but Ruby just chooses to down her drink long enough to make him know he’s going to have to ask the question if he wants to know the answer. “Which makes sense, you know, she’s definitely out–”

 

“We weren’t ever anything,” Ruby cuts off, her confidence having failed her the moment Jim started speaking again. “Just best friends. I haven’t… ever been with a woman before.”

 

“Jesus, someone sets the bar high.”

 

“You’re one to talk.” She digs out the bottle and refills her glass, glancing back at the home behind them to catch sight of Regina and Kathryn hunched over the table with matching looks of rabid concentration. “Older woman who’s a high level lawyer from a good family, huh?”

 

“Bet you didn’t take me for the gold digger I so obviously turned out to be, huh?”

 

“I’m pretty impressed.”

 

Jim laughs quietly, nursing his own drink while Ruby continues to drain hers. “That’s definitely what her family thought. I think they might have actually had a some Middle Eastern prince they were ready to marry her off to, so I can’t blame them for being mad – who knows what kind of down payment they might have made in dowries.”

 

It’s Ruby’s turn to chuckle. “Is her family really that loaded?”

 

“You have no idea – hell, I have no real idea, Kathryn doesn’t like to talk about it. She was smart enough to squirrel away what she could, but I think she likes to be free from the influence.”

 

“They don’t talk to you at all?”

 

“Well, they’re kind of being forced to. Their generation of the family is filled with righteous indignation over Kathryn marrying a commoner, while Kathryn’s cousins are from this century. Slowly but surely.”

 

“God, rich people lives are so much more complicated than I would have thought.”

 

“I know. Thankfully, we get to come in late in the game and still reap the most benefits. I mean, did you ever expect to end up with a woman who has a giant house and her own private bay on the lake?”

 

“I didn’t expect to end up with a woman, and I can’t say cabin fantasies have ever played into the mix either.”

 

“You were so very… heterosexual in high school.”

 

“That’s a nice way of putting it,” Ruby replies with a smirk, turning to meet his eyes again. She should slow down on the drinking, she knows, but as comfortable as she feels in the company of these people, they’re unnerving as fuck to be around. “I must have slept with half your baseball team. And swimming team.”

 

“To be fair, both teams were mostly made up of the same people.”

 

“That is a good point, thank you for making it.”

 

“And you know… everyone liked you. They were desperate for your attention, it wasn’t like guys were laughing at you behind your back.”

 

“You can save it, Jimmy, I don’t have any self-esteem issues about sleeping my way through Storybrooke High. They developed long before that.” Glass replenished, Ruby licks her lips wondering just how much this bottle of champagne cost. “I’m kind of… really, super terrified of fucking this up. Especially in bed.”

 

“I never heard any complaints.”

 

“From the ever-discerning teenage boys we went to school with? My confidence has never been higher, Jimmy.”

 

“What are you worried about, exactly?”

 

Her embarrassed laugh echoes into her glass, but she stifles it with another gulp. “I have no idea how to go down on a girl.”

 

To his credit, Jim doesn’t break, just looks thoughtfully out at the water. “Yeah, I imagine outies are probably a lot easier to manage than innies. Do some research – porn is free now, you know. Or just do the alphabet. When you go down on her. And, you know, if she’s anything like Kathryn – and how could she not be? She’ll… make it clear what’s working.”

 

“I am… so, so glad that Kathryn married you.”

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty pumped about it, too.”

 

Despite counting the drinks off in her head, Ruby’s still surprised to see how much trouble she has with standing when it comes time. Somehow the two of them had managed to bankrupt the bank and come to a stalemate of swapping money that didn’t seem to be ending, a feat Ruby had never heard of before this evening. Jim offers his arm, but Regina tells her to remain sitting before taking his seat and moving it until it’s next to her date’s. She waves off the blonde and her husband after the waitress assures them that she’s still making breaking, taking Ruby’s hand along with the spot next to her.

 

“Good night?”

 

“I missed Jim.”

 

“Jimmy.”

 

“Do you think he’ll hate it if I call him that?”

 

“I hope so.”

 

“Not ready for bed?”

 

“Well, if I know anything about Alpha Female Kathryn, she’ll be making it clear tonight that she was here first. Even if she likes you.”

 

“She’s a performer, huh?”

 

“Even if you weren’t here, I would probably be giving them a headstart.” Ruby laughs, digging her feet into the sand and swaying her knees back and forth. “You’re all giggly on champagne. I’ll have to keep a good stock.”

 

“I don’t think I’ve had champagne in years.”

 

“All the more reason.”

 

Ruby would regret her booze-loosened tongue, but as she finishes off the remainder in her glass, she’s grateful for the instilled confidence. “Do you think we’re moving too fast? And don’t give me the two women thing, surely lesbians also worry about rushing relationships.”

 

“Do you feel like we’re rushing it?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“I told you, you’re the relationship expert between the two of us.”

 

“Well, I was also talking about our relationship in bed, which I’m very much still… intimidated by. And, please stop saying that, it’s a terrifying amount of pressure.”

 

Regina gives a clearly stifled laugh, her hand squeezing Ruby’s. “Well, I’m sorry, but it’s true. When you have less opportunity to date – or none at all, you just kind of… seize the day situation. It’s just… a same-sex thing, as sad as it is to generalize.”

 

“Please tell me if I’m fucking it up.”

 

“As long as you do the same.”

 

Ruby doesn’t like the shift this conversation has taken, she certainly doesn’t feel giggly anymore and that doesn’t seem right when she’s holding Regina’s hand. “Are they marathoners?”

 

“Probably, but when Kathryn’s been drinking she likes to get to the point. Thankfully.”

 

“Small favours.” Regina matches her grin and brings Ruby’s hand up to press a kiss to it. “Now what?”

 

“I think we’re supposed to talk and get to know each other better to offset the focus on the physical side of our relationship.”

 

“Is it weird that we call it a relationship when it’s only a week old and has taken place almost entirely within your home?”

 

“I suppose it’s technically more of a liaison, but I didn’t want you to not feel special.”

 

“What’s more special than a nice French word like that?” Crickets are filling the background with ambient noise, joined every once in awhile by the sound of an owl or wolf. The lake probably still looks just as transfixing and picturesque as it had when she was sitting with Jim, but Ruby’s eyes are locked with Regina’s and refuse to be denied otherwise. “Now what?”

 

“Hmm…” She squints at the younger woman, her thumb idly stroking. “Any good secrets?”

 

“Plenty. But not ones meant to be revealed in the first week of seeing someone.”

 

Regina laughs and nods in concession, biting her lip. “Then I’m all out of questions. I’m not much of a conversationalist when I’ve been drinking. Drugs are the way to go for that.”

 

“You remind me of someone,” Ruby whispers after a moment, though she regrets it immediately when her buzzed brain catches up to the words. But Regina’s eyes are on her, intense and unrelenting, leaving Ruby with little choice but to continue. “I guess she reminded me of you, really. Even though… you don’t really look alike. She was Asian – Korean, I think. Maybe Chinese. I might be racist. But she was really pretty. Just… stunning. I just saw her, standing in the street, waiting for the light to change. She was across the road. And… I’ve never been able to get her out of my head.”

 

“What reminds you of her?”

 

“Well, that, for one. You’ve been haunting my dreams for years. But… something about the way she held herself. I don’t know. Her expression, maybe. Probably mostly just the fact that I always think of her out of the blue.”

 

“You never saw her again?”

 

“I did, actually. Later that week. At a bar in the area. I’d never gone there before.”

 

“Did you go talk to her?”

 

“No,” Ruby replies with a laugh.

 

“Why not?”

 

“I was with Peter when I saw her.”

 

Regina’s face twists into an expression that Ruby can’t place, but she hates it more than any other one she’s seen thus far. So she leans across their armrests to put it out of sight, kissing Regina soundly. The other woman doesn’t hesitate before returning it, but her usual force seems lost this evening, prompting Ruby to try to compensate. It feels a little desperate, this moment of theirs, and she’s more than grateful for the break in their tense kiss when a particularly loud moan comes through the second floor window. They laugh against each other’s lips until Ruby pulls her head away to press it against Regina’s shoulder.

 

“Was that the grand finale?”

 

“We should be so lucky.”

 

They make it to bed eventually, Regina helping Ruby up to the bedroom and ridding her of her clothes. She still manages to wake up before her bedmate in the morning, forcing herself out of bed if only to brush her teeth and wash her face before Regina rises. She had been forced to drink a large glass of water and two ibuprofens before she was allowed to sleep and she feels grateful for it now as she repeats the action. Ruby debates on the idea of taking a shower, but decides upon a run, however short, in order to reclaim some sense of herself on this weekend away from who she used to be. Peeking back into the room, Ruby silently pads over to grab her bag, checking to make sure Regina isn’t faking her out before disappearing into the bathroom again.

 

Changed and with her hair pulled back, Ruby makes her way downstairs, moving cautiously when she hears someone in the kitchen. She’s relieved to see Jim standing at the counter, his back to her as he watches the blender whirl. “I was supposed to be making breakfast, you dick.”

 

His smile is immediate as he glances over his shoulder at her similar attire. “So, you’re the only other runner I see around Storybrooke in the morning. Serendipitous.”

 

“I’ve never seen you running.”

 

“Well, I also take the time to work on my stalking skills. I’m really coming along. Do you want a smoothie? I hate running on an empty stomach.”

 

“I can only run on an empty stomach.”

 

“You are destroying that nice body of yours from the inside out.”

 

“You have no idea.” It’s a little after eight in the morning, but she has to get a real grasp on Regina’s sleeping habits. “How much longer are they going to be out?”

 

“Well, after champagne _and_ Monopoly, I imagine they’re all worn out. Older women, you know.” She smacks his arm and comes up next to him, stealing one of his sliced strawberries. “A little while longer, at least. How awesome is it to live with someone who stocks their fridge? Like, with fresh fruit and stuff? My mother didn’t even do that.”

 

“Oh my god, _I know_. Regina laughs at me when I talk about it, but I don’t think she realizes the level of maturity and foresight required to buy fruits and vegetables.”

 

Jim takes her through the well-worn paths that circle around what appears to be the whole crescent moon property, running along the edge of the woods so they can see the lake. It’s a gorgeous plot of land, and relatively remote as Ruby finds out. The closest home is across the water and a mile down, the closest public beach even further down. Jim proves his knowledge of the two women to be true, as the house is still quiet when they return, Ruby offering Jim the chance at the first shower of the day.

 

Her plan, should Regina still be asleep, is to finish her book on the balcony that sits overtop of the backyard porch, already dreaming of a morning of reading while looking out at the lake. But when she pushes inside her dreams are blissfully broken by the sight of Regina’s opened eyes watching the door, a sleepy smile on her face. She holds the blankets up to allow Ruby the opportunity to squeeze in next to her.

 

“Went for a run?”

 

“A short one.” Regina’s been up at least once, judging by the heather grey robe she’s wearing underneath the sheets. Ruby rests against her side, cheek pressed against Regina’s shoulder as she allows her muscles to relax. “Turns out I wasn’t as ready for a run as I thought I was.”

 

“I don’t know how you can exercise like that in the first place. Especially so early in the morning.” Her hand pulls Ruby’s ponytail free before falling to the edge of her black tank top, lips brushing against the younger woman’s forehead with every word. “What do you want to do today?”

 

“I haven’t gone swimming in forever.”

 

“We can fix that.” Regina’s neck extends for a moment to check the clock. “Kathryn will be up and demanding food soon, so enjoy these quiet moments while you can.”

 

“How often do you come up here?”

 

“Not enough. I love this place, but it always feel too big when I’m here by myself. Kathryn can only get away every so often.” Her left hand laces with Ruby’s right one as she yawns. “It’s gorgeous up here in the winter. Makes the season worthwhile.”

 

“How far are you from Jefferson’s? I wasn’t paying attention on the drive up.”

 

“He’s about twenty minutes back. Why? Bored of us already?”

 

Ruby scoffs but isn’t given the chance to answer when Kathryn’s voice appears outside the hallway, as if she heard her name mentioned moments ago and came running to attention. “If you guys are having sex, stop – or don’t, but I’m coming in.” She looks somewhat disappointed when she enters, dressed in the shirt Jim had been wearing the night before. It doesn’t stop the blonde from marching in and stepping up on the bed, phone in hand. “I was promised breakfast.”

 

“You’re so annoying,” Regina groans, though Ruby can hear the smile in her voice. The hand that had been on her back comes up to cover her eyes, while Regina’s other untangles from Ruby’s so she can cover her own face with the crook of her elbow, shielding them from Kathryn.

 

The sound of a camera shutter comes from the phone above them, but Kathryn relents immediately, hopping off the bed and heading back out the door. “That’s a keeper. I expect breakfast in a half an hour.”

 

It’s enough time to shower, at least, though she rushes that for fear of facing the blonde’s ire. Blue eyes intently watch her as she dips the banana bread into her Baileys egg wash, Jim taking over the task of preparing hashbrowns and bacon, the latter apparently being one of his few unhealthy vices. Kathryn approves of the food, demands Ruby put it on the menu at the diner so she doesn’t have to wait for sleepovers to receive such a meal. It seems genuine, but Ruby can’t help but notice that the blonde makes at least somewhat of an effort to keep talking to Ruby throughout the morning, as if breakfast was all it took to melt Kathryn’s exterior.

 

It’s when Ruby excuses herself for a cigarette that Kathryn finally singles her out for alone time, though it’s sought by her sneaking through the side door so Jim doesn’t see her as she comes up to stand next to Ruby. She doesn’t ask before stealing the cigarette away, breathing in deeply and standing with her eyes closed for a moment before she breathes back out.

 

“I love him, but he’s like a fucking pitbull when it comes to me smoking.”

 

“But he’s fine with you drinking and getting high until sunrise?”

 

“No, I’m only allowed to do that once in awhile because I gave up smoking.” She takes one more drag before passing the cigarette back to Ruby, her blue eyes steely through the smoke. “So, you lasted a whole night.”

 

“And you’re still enjoying my company.”

 

“Evidently.”

 

“I see why the two of you get along so well. Why she needs you around. You’re very… outgoing.”

 

“Why, yes, I am obnoxious. Thank you for pointing it out so diplomatically.” The blonde snags the smoke back once more after Ruby inhales, looking around once more for her husband. “But, yes, she does need someone obnoxious in her life. She’s far too… restrained. Regina wasn’t always like that, if you recall.”

 

“I remember all the articles about her partying when she was younger. Hard to make peace with that image when I look at her now.”

 

“Well, I guess she probably shouldn’t get to that level of ‘outgoing’ again. But, you’re good for her, too. So far. I haven’t seen her this… relaxed in years. So, you know, don’t fuck that up.” She laughs quietly at the brief pained expression that crosses Ruby’s face. “Good, you should be afraid. I’m terrifying.”

 

The rest of the morning and afternoon are spent in or near or in the water, relaxing in the sun and enjoying frozen drinks as the hours tick by. Ruby can’t help but appreciate the sight of a grown up Jim, all filled out with muscles, as he steps onto the beach and crawls over his sunbathing wife to kiss her. He springs up a moment later announcing that they’ll need firewood for tonight before they get too drunk, his dripping form standing over Ruby until she relents and stands up, receiving a sympathetic pat on her calf from Regina. They slip on their shoes, Jim his shirt, and Ruby her hoodie before they set up at the stump near the firepit, the tall man showing Ruby the proper motion with the ax.

 

“Why do I have to help again?”

 

“I figured Regina would enjoy the view.”

 

The politician’s daughter is indeed watching them with pointed interest, but she doesn’t say much for the rest of the afternoon, until the group splits ways at four. Kathryn insists on a pre-dinner nap, dragging Jim up the stairs before anyone can object, while Regina offers to take Ruby on a walk around the property. She nearly jumps the the opportunity, almost literally when the woman takes her hand and leads her into the woods.

 

“I thought Kathryn didn’t take naps.”

 

“She doesn’t. That’s why I figured it would be safest if we got away from the house. Suffering through Kathryn’s ‘Afternoon Delight’ is not for first time guests.” They pass a scene Ruby and Jim had jogged by earlier, a small clearing on the coastline with an almost obscenely serene gazebo draped in trees. There’s a small dock over the sand dunes, but the lake is nearly hard to see from their shaded spot. This is where Regina pulls them to a stop, stepping inside backwards and pulling Ruby with her until they’re kissing in the center of the small structure. “My father proposed to my mother here.”

 

“And that gets you going?”

 

Ruby finds herself being pushed down onto a creaky bench seat, Regina following overtop of her, a devious smile on her face. “I want to make new memories.” She kisses her once more with what must be her trademark move, Regina’s lower lip enveloping her own, her tongue brushing against it with just enough pressure to tease Ruby. She’s slow and forceful, as commanding as she is when she’s standing in front of a room full of students, but all of her attention is focused on Ruby. Undoing the zipper of her hoodie so her hands can roam Ruby’s torso, ending up covering the thin material of her bikini top when the younger woman manages to pull her mouth away.

 

“We’re in public.”

 

“We’re on private land in the middle of the forest,” Regina corrects, her mouth moving down to suck a mark on Ruby’s neck. “And I’m drunk and have had to watch you all weekend while my best friend flaunts her sex life in front of me. I’ve had a week of doing that on the phone with her, I won’t go back to second place.”

 

Ruby laughs but it turns into a disappointed groan as Regina slips from her place until she’s kneeling in front of the bench, patting her hips and commanding her to lift them as she undoes the button of Ruby’s denim shorts. “You’re going to scar some kid taking their Sea-Doo out for the first time.”

 

“Maybe I’ll help them come to terms with their sexuality. Besides, you admitted to still being nervous about certain aspects of our relationship.” Shorts removed, Ruby sucks in a breath as Regina leans in and presses her lips to her stomach, her fingers playing with the ties holding together the bottom piece of her bikini. “So, I feel like it’s my duty to help demonstrate until you’re more comfortable.”

 

“Regina.” It’s a feeble attempt at a protest, but Ruby’s hands make no move to stop Regina’s movements as the strings come undone. The only sound she can make is a pathetic whine that slips past her lips when Regina’s teeth capture a nipple through her bikini top, her hips shifting up into waiting fingers and resulting in yet another terrible noise. The older woman is terrifyingly good at pulling Ruby’s strings and twisting her into the position she wants judging by the way she slips her arms underneath Ruby’s thighs as they lift, pulling her closer to the edge of the small bench.

 

She’s supposed to be taking notes but the idea of her brain functioning on such a level when Regina’s mouth is attached to her like a lamprey. A commentary is offered from between her legs, Ruby can feel the words vibrating against her, can acknowledge the sounds in her immediate area, but they get lost in her mind as her thighs spasm and jerk in their position hanging over Regina’s shoulders. Ruby tries to narrow in on what Regina’s doing that’s driving her over the edge, but it proves to be an impossible task when two fingers are pressed into her and her mind goes blank.

 

“Learn anything?” Ruby responds vaguely when a kiss is bestowed upon her lips, her eyes opening to watch Regina re-do the ties of her bikini bottom.

 

“You’re such a cocky bitch.”

 

“You make it incredibly easy to be one.”

 

“That’s not really a compliment, you know.”

 

“No, but I appreciate the fact all the same.” She kisses Ruby’s chin and runs her hands up the exposed skin of her thighs as she remains kneeling between them. “I’ve never been the confident one in a pair, you know. So, despite my tone, I am being genuine when I say that.”

 

“I can’t imagine you not being confident about anything,” Ruby mumbles as another kiss is pressed under her jaw. Her motor skills have returned enough to allow her to run her fingers through Regina’s hair, tugging on her head until she relents. “You break up with people confidently. I know, I’ve been one of those people.”

 

Regina laughs quietly, her head tilting to the side and eyes squinting a little as a coy smile takes over her face. “Don’t worry, I’m sure once you find your pace you’ll out-master me soon enough. I’m really quite vanilla when you get down to it.”

 

“I find that incredibly hard to believe, as well.”

 

“I love seeing you out here, trees behind you. It looks… right. Like you’re supposed to be here, chopping my wood and wooing my friends. How do you feel about cutting all personal ties to the world and never leaving the property for the rest of your life?”

 

“So this _is_ a cult?”

 

The cult serves s’mores, so Ruby’s not exactly opposed to a trial membership as she finds herself wrapped up in a blanket in front of a fire, being saved from dripping melted chocolate on herself by Regina, who’s pressed to her side. Kathryn and Jim sit across from them, recounting tales from a disastrous honeymoon under a star studded sky. She doesn’t want the night to end but Sunday creeps up on them all the same. While Regina and Ruby are squeezing one more day out of the weekend, the other couple bowing out early in the afternoon to resume their regular lives for an evening.

 

“You’re so old,” Regina complains in a breezy voice as Jim heads up the stairs after lunch to shower quickly before they head home.

 

“You don’t get to say that just because you bought my husband a Playstation. Thanks for making me have to top that in bed, you know how stupid he gets about those sports games. Now, you, come with me.” The blonde grabs Ruby’s wrist and drags her from her spot loading dishes into the dishwasher to drag her to the corner where she’s kept her cigarettes next to a small ashtray. “Where’s the lighter?” Ruby produces one from her pocket. “Why are you dressed? I assumed you and Regina would be spending the afternoon in bed now that you don’t have us to compete with.”

 

“Maybe we’re big into stripteases.”

 

Kathryn scoffs but she’s smirking as she glances through a window into the kitchen before lighting her stolen cigarette. “I wish Regina were into stripteases. Do you know how many times I’ve tried to take her to a strip club? She is so…” Her voice trails off for half a minute, long enough for Ruby to realize they won’t be sharing this cigarette. She’s pulling her own out of her nearly depleted pack when Kathryn continues. “I really do think you could be good for her. If this doesn’t implode. You have… a good temperament.”

 

“Thank you?” Ruby isn’t sure how else to respond, so she focuses on her smoke. Kathryn looks at her the same Regina does, as if there’s instructions to her being written on her face and they’re being carefully examined. Only, without that comforting, hungry look.

 

“She really is so… she’s far less confident than she appears and I think you’re the opposite. Once you get comfortable. You seem like the type. So, you should… if you’re nervous about being with her,” Ruby feels a flush overtake her neck at the thought of Regina sharing such news, but Kathryn flicks her ash into the small plastic tray on the window and gives Ruby a pointed look as if to wave away her embarrassment, “you shouldn’t be because she’s softcore porn and I’m hoping your influence will bring about that X rated girl I used to know.”

 

“You might be betting on the wrong horse.”

 

“I don’t mean you have to turn into a dominatrix and _Fifty Shades_ her, I just mean… she needs some damn fun in her life. So, please, give her something to brag about. As fun as it is absolutely rubbing my perfect relationship in her face is, I think it’ll be more fun with some competition.” She stamps out her cigarette in the ashtray and rolls her neck, any hint of compassion in her tone replaced by her usual one of disdain. “She’s a total bottom, despite outward appearances. That is my advice to you.”

 

“I have no idea what to do with that advice.”

 

“Well, tie her up and figure it out.” Her blush deepens and Kathryn laughs, the kind Ruby’s only witnessed while they’ve been in Regina’s presence. “You’re adorable, Ruby Lucas. I’ll give you that. But, when I first saw you, I thought you were hot. Regina probably thought the same. She definitely thinks that when you're choking her out – quit blushing, I'm pretty impressed. So, you should try to take that power back.”

 

The idea of having these bizarre, anxiety-inducing one-on-ones with Kathryn every time they’re together is almost enough to make her want to quit smoking. But, at the same time, Ruby is making a mental note to buy better cigarettes in preparation for their next stolen moment. Twelve year-old Ruby is far too excited by the idea of Kathryn Knight talking to her to care about the subject matter. It is easier to feel confident when they’re alone, at least, standing at the doorway and watching the married couple drive off. To cut Regina off with a kiss as she steps inside and begins to suggest how they could spend the rest of their afternoon.

 

“I was going to recommend,” Regina says lowly as she allows herself to be walked back to the stairs and her neck to be accosted when she denies Ruby her lips, “that we get to know each other better. So we don’t have to worry our relationship becoming too–”

 

“This needs to happen now. And in a bed. We can spend all evening being boring, I promise, I look forward to it, but this is gonna happen.”

 

The older woman licks her lips and tries to stifle the laugh that slips through, but she gives a look of acquiescence and takes the lead up the stairs and towards the bedroom. The room is bathed in light, the lake looking like a painted backdrop outside the window than a real scene happening in real time. Regina drops Ruby’s hand as they cross the threshold, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress and looking up at Ruby expectantly.

 

“What did you have in mind?” Ruby forgoes answering for a moment, too afraid to lose her momentum with something like a stuttering commend, and proceeds to tug her shirt over her head, nodding for Regina to do the same. She receives a raised eyebrow in return, but otherwise Regina’s expression doesn’t change as she follows the unsaid order and rids herself of her clothes.

 

“And now?” This time she just doesn’t have an answer because Regina is in the process of moving to lean back against the pillows at the top of the bed. The moment must stretch longer than she realizes because Regina’s voice breaks the silence again, a tad more soothing than before. “What do you want, Ruby?”

 

“I want… to not be totally paralyzed whenever you look at me like that. Because I knew what I really wanted before you did that.”

 

Regina’s smile turns a shade less predatory, but she proves her following words to be true with the minimal change. “I don’t think I can stop looking at you like… however I’m looking at you now.”

 

Ruby takes stock of her situation and tries to remember Kathryn’s confusing advice to be better in bed with Regina, or whatever she was getting at. She wishes she hadn’t undressed so quickly, feeling self-conscious as she walks around the bed to where her bag is stored near an armoire that undoubtedly pre-dates the civil war or something else expensive and ridiculous. She digs around until she finds a thin black scarf stuck under jeans, shaking it loose just to fold it up neatly as she rises from her kneeling position and slides on the bed. She finally succeeds in shaking Regina’s steady look for a hot second, to one of naked surprise as Ruby approaches.

 

“Is this okay?” Regina blinks and returns her eyes to Ruby’s, her smile having fallen but the heat has returned to her expression as she nods her agreement. The waitress takes her place over Regina’s lap and ties the fabric securely around the other woman’s head, thinking to herself that Kathryn would be at least somewhat proud of her, even if she’s not tying Regina up.

 

When the knot is tied, Ruby kisses Regina in a slow, reverent manner that is at odds with her immediate follow-up of pushing her down against the bed and continuing down her body. There’s no pressure now, not even that of Regina’s ever-intrusive gaze, just an expanse of smooth, tanned skin for her to explore and she’s as anxious as she’s ever been to begin. Her own eyes close at the delicious groan Regina gives as her mouth skips down to capture a rosy nipple, but they open again as the sound gives way to a low chuckle.

 

“I am so, _so_ glad you’re here.” Her voice sounds different than Ruby’s ever heard in their short acquaintance, even if her tone is familiar and warm. The way the words come out, combined with the perfectly innocent sweep of a hand across Ruby’s bare back, makes her take a deep breath for a reason she can’t quite understand. If anything, it’s the simplicity of the statement that makes it feel so heavy in this moment, but she’s not about to allow it to knock her off course now.

 

“Me too,” Ruby agrees quietly as her lips continue their downward march beyond Regina’s naval, only stopping briefly when she takes another look at the blindfolded woman she has under her command.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the next chapter will hopefully be up sooner because it won't be the size of a small, poorly edited novella. That seems like a good trade-off, right?


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